Saturday, November 28, 2009

Acorn Squash

You all know by now that my husband is Cheapy McCheapypants. But he really took it too far this past week. While preparing for Thanksgiving, I noticed an acorn squash on the counter. I know I did not purchase an acorn squash in my grocery shopping excursion, and I thought it seemed a strange purchase for Jeff to make on his own, so I eyed it suspiciously, but didn't think much of it as I went about my chores.

At some point, Jeff announced how he "scored" this acorn squash from the PARKING LOT AT SEARS!!! Oh yes, he had been at Sears to procure a tool for his truck when he noticed this acorn squash in the parking lot. Now, I don't know about you, but I would be immediately suspicious of a piece of produce in the parking lot of a department store. Where did it come from? Why was it here? But not Jeff. He just thought......FREE FOOD!

So, he actually brought this discarded produce home with the intention of serving it to his unsuspecting family. He argued that it was fairly impervious, in fairly good shape, and so what harm could come from it? I immediately conjured up images of some sick freak injecting it with poison only so some half-wit like my husband would come along and decide to feed it to his family. Jeff could simply not understand why I insisted on throwing it away. I explained (calmly at first, then growing louder with insistence) that it was on the GROUND, in a parking lot far, far away from any grocery store, and it was GARBAGE!!! Then, I told him "we don't pick up things off the ground and eat them" (perhaps he missed that step when he was four?) and tossed that acorn squash in the garbage!

But I'll bet you ten bucks he fished it out and will try to feed it to us..........I'm not eating anything with acorn squash in it, EVER. I am seriously worried about this man. I believe he needs supervision on future shopping trips. Maybe he even chews the gum stuck to the bottom of tables? Who knows.............

5 comments:

jeff said...

First of all, acorn squash comes from the ground where there is dirt and farm animals so a pristine acorn suqash in a clean parking lot didn't seem strange - it fell out of someones bag and I was lucky enough to find it and make creamy acorn soup. There was nothing wrong with this squash - acorn squash are like rocks. This one has no scrapes, abrasions or injection marks. It was a simple acron squash. There is probably more chance of finding adulatrated produce in a grocery store.

Mary-Leah said...

It was on the ground! It's garbage! Someone threw it away on purpose! You are kinda gross.......

Mimi/Papa said...

LOLOLOL This is the best...a family argument ON YOUR BLOG!! Your dad and I are laughing right out loud on this one! But I do have to agree that finding a rather nice selection of produce in the Sears parking lot would see a bit odd...if there are grocery stores near, then yes, maybe someone COULD have dropped it out of their bag(s), but if no grocery stores, why would anyone be carrying their grocery shopping bags WITH them...??? I hope he survives his acorn soup! LOLOL Was there a "Saturday" market there by any chance? Like earlier in the day or something...just a thought...

Mary-Leah said...

No Saturday market, no chance of it falling out of someone's bag, nary a grocery store within a five mile radius! Only Jeff.........

Sydney said...

I'm with you on the gross factor. No acorn squash from Sears. New rule.