Monday, January 10, 2011

Ladies only?

Today at my sub job, I had to use the restroom. Wait. Stop right there. Why do we call it a "rest" room anyway? I mean, sure, it's sometimes the only "rest" I get in a day, considering I'm actually sitting down, but I can think of a many more places I'd rather rest than a public toilet. So, anyway. I had to go to the bathroom. And I noticed there were two bathrooms......wait. It wasn't really a bathroom either, because there was no bath. But I digress. So, the two bathrooms had male/female signs on it. Unisex bathrooms. Which led me to believe I could use either one. So, I just used the one closest to me. You know, because they were UNISEX and all. Right? Wrong. I should have been tipped off by the "Street Rodder" magazines next to the toilet. But I missed the obvious signs. I grabbed a "Waxie" butt gasket and put it on the seat. And I had a sudden flow a gratitude for those lovely, waxy, paper seat covers. Because, for one, how nice is that? A little slice of security between you and the nasty toilet. And for another, because once I exited the bathroom and realized I had so obviously used the WRONG ONE (as evidenced by the adorable "ladies" restroom just adjacent to the Street Rodder restroom - the lady restroom had proper lotions, adorable framed prints, even a mermaid statuette!), I was so grateful that there was that papery thin shield between me and a toilet used by MEN! Ewwww........because we all know men don't lift the seat, which means the seat I sat on had undoubtedly been "christened" and that just makes me.......ugh. I cannot even put it to words. Horrified, I vowed to engrain the location of the ladies restroom in my mind and never make that mistake again. If only they made hand-sanitizer-infused toilet paper!

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