Friday, May 20, 2011

Just because it's sunny..........

The sun is out in Seattle. Oh yeah, baby! That makes us all crazy and happy and we do stuff we wouldn't normally do. Some of that stuff is just downright......wrong. Allow me to give you a guide to a sunny day in Seattle:
- I don't care how hot you are, guys (and I'm definitely talking temperature here, NOT sexiness), please refrain from taking your shirt off and exposing us to your pasty-white abs, or lack thereof. Really. It's gross.
- Maxi dress? Fugly. Just don't wear them. Ever. Unless you enjoy looking like Mrs. Roper from "Three's Company" fame. (Kids! Google it!)
- Romper. Butt-fugly. Do NOT wear this style. There is nothing cute about a romper. Even on your kid.
- I know it's over 50 degrees, but kids, please stop asking me to set up the slip and slide or turn on the sprinklers. You will be hypothermic in fifteen minutes.
- Wear sunscreen. All the time. My 13-year-old just learned that you can get a sunburn even if the sun is not shining. What the hell do they TEACH them in school these days anyway?
- Please, kids, don't tell me you're "dying" from the heat when it's 67 degrees outside. No one died from being in 67 degree heat for extensive periods.
- The ice cream man WILL be coming by if it's over 50 degrees. You know it. I know it. We all hear it. Save yourself some $$ and stock up on Drumsticks and Choco Tacos at the grocery store. When you hear the "ding ding" have your kids run to the freezer.
- Guess what? You have neighbors. I know, right? You never see them when the sun doesn't shine because they drive right into their garages and shut the door on your friendship. But now they will actually come outside to work in their yards or wash their cars and you can TALK to them. Cool, huh?
- My husband used to live in Indiana for a short time. People there would pull their barbeque grills into the driveway and grill away. Neighbors would follow suit and pretty soon it was a block party! Hey! Don't be afraid to move your soy burger extravaganza to the front yard.
- Don't wear a bikini if anything on your body jiggles. Just don't.
- Sock and sandals, while a Seattle staple, are really dorky. Now's the time to ditch the REI wool socks in favor of bare feet in those sandals.
- And while we're on the subject of feet, get a pedicure! For God's sake.
- Don't be fooled by that bright, round orb in the sky. It's fickle, and like a bad boyfriend, apt to leave you at a moment's notice. Do not be lured in by it's warmth and sweetness. For tomorrow it may rain.
- For the love of all that is holy, do NOT spend the whole day indoors. Even if you, like my 13-year-old today, just drop to the grass the minute you get home and just soak up the Vitamin D, you'll be much happier for it.
- At the very least, enjoy the one-armed sunburn you might procure by driving in the beautiful sun today. And soak up that awesome "hot car" feeling before turning on the AC.
- Ahhhh.........sun!

1 comment:

jeff said...

Ahhh sun:) Where is the damn sun?