Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture.......

So, if the world ends tomorrow, as predicted, don't you think God's gonna be pissed at all the jokes? I mean, He's probably going to come down here and say "you, with the jokes, you burn in Hell!" Or maybe not. I tend to think God must have a sense of humor. Otherwise, how do you explain the mullet? Or Milli Vanilli? Or Tammy Faye Bakker? Or terrycloth tube tops? Yeah, I'm pretty sure God has been messing with us for eons now.

The cool thing is if the world ends, I don't have to worry about the fact that I ate a cookie for breakfast today. Or that I can't fit into my capris from last summer. Or that my roots are graying. Or that I never went to medical school, or learned to fly fish, or flambe'd anything. (Heh, heh, sounds like there'll be a lot of flambe'ing going on if the rapture does come - bwahaha!). So, it's all good.

Still if rapture does occur, there will be a lot of people going "well, holy shit, who knew?" Duh! Everyone knows!  It's all over Facebook, and unless you live under a rock......oh wait. I still have some friends who are not on Facebook (I know! WTF?) so I should not belittle them. The thing is, we've had plenty of warning. But I'm sure as shit not gonna learn how to turn off my natural gas line or eat freeze-dried rations if rapture occurs. I'm going to go have a margarita with my girlfriends, sit in the sun, and go out with a bang. (Heh, heh, get it?)

Plus, I can't get that stupid Blondie song out of my head - can you? "And then you're in the man from Mars, you go out at night eatin' cars. Cadillacs, Lincolns' too, Mercury and Subaru.......RAPTURE!

3 comments:

Lola said...

This blog post is hilarious! I love the Blondie reference because it's what everyone who was around in the 1980s was thinking when they heard about the "rapture". -Lola http://www.karmakilleddogma.blogspot.com

Gail said...

Thanks for the morning smile and a chuckle or three! Delighful post.

jeff said...

I guess it's time to start worrying about eating that cookie:)