Monday, May 9, 2011

Sperm Lover

I know! The title alone is shocking enough. But the funny part is that's the name of a "follower" of my blog I discovered I had, quite unexpectedly, when I noticed the little icon listing my followers went from 15 to 16 (I know, I'm SO popular!). So, I checked it out and saw "Sperm Lover" was my newest follower. I saw that Sperm Lover also follows sites such as "Sex, Sex, Sex! Can't Get Enough" and similar sites. On principle alone, I had to block poor Sperm Lover because I'm afraid I cannot deliver the goods that he/she might be used to. My blog is nothing if not PG-13 and I'm not even sure I've ever written a post about sex. My kids read this, after all, and what's ickier than imagining your parents having S-E-X? (Note to my children, I'll wait now, while you go bleach your brains).

So, I was thinking about the name, Sperm Lover, and I thought, what's to love, really? Sperm, on it's own, is fairly unremarkable. Little fish-like creatures, swimming in a sea of....well....semen. Get it? "Sea-men"? HAHA! I'm so funny. But to LOVE it? Not so much. I mean, I LOVE my family. I LOVE chocolate chip cookies. But I do not love sperm. It's useful, when you want to create a baby, but useless on it's own. So, I wonder if Sperm Lover really LOVES sperm, or just sex. And if it's just sex, then why follow MY blog? Honey, I have four teenagers. One of them sleeps in the room below mine. You can imagine how much sex is going on at MY love nest.

And then, you gotta wonder about the name choice. Sperm Lover. Shock value. Ooohhh....naughty word. Except it's not. It's a biological word. Like penis. Or ejaculate. Functional words. That, for some reason, illicit giggles and snickers whenever they are said. Try it. Just walk into a room, and in the middle of a random conversation, say "sperm lover" and just see what happens.

So, sorry Sperm Lover, but I have no idea who you are. That, in itself, does not automatically disqualify you from being a follower of my blog, but based on your other blog following, I'm afraid I can't deliver on what you may be expecting. If you chose my blog to read the ramblings of a suburban mom of four, then by all means, re-follow me! But if you were hoping Chaos Times Six was a moniker for an orgy, I'm afraid you've been misled. The sexiest thing going on around here is when I match my bra and panties. So sorry to disappoint!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You crack me up!!! LOVE the blog!!!!