Today was weird. After going to bed after midnight, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and took four teenagers to the airport for a trip to Vegas and California. Watched the sun rise on my way home. Once home, I found my husband in the bathroom asking for "help" because his ear was plugged up. Played nurse until it was determined I could not fix it. He went to work while I went back to sleep - for one hour! Woke up, took two youngest to camp, stopping by husband's work to pick him up for doctor appointment. While driving there, he said "why don't you just drop me off and I'll check in early." Paused in the street long enough for him to do a barrel roll out of the car onto the curb. Not really, but that would have been great! He did exit the car pretty fast.
After I dropped the kids off at camp, I circled back around to the doctor to wait for my husband to get his ear fixed. While waiting, I drank an iced coffee and ate three chocolate chip cookies. Sent text message: Waiting in parking lot. No makeup on. Feeling like a zombie. Super tired. Might be snoozing. I then got a picture message from him showing me the earwax ball they removed from his ear. No, I am not lying. This happened. He texted: Nurse Judy thanks u for loosening it up. Me: GROSS! Him: I couldn't see how good the pic was. Me: Well, I don't know how a picture of earwax is "good"....Him: How clear or if pic does it justus (spelling mistake intentionally left in to emphasize his lack of spelling skills). Me: I don't know! Sheesh, was it a boulder or something? Do NOT bring it out here! Him: K.
Sorry. That was just gross.
Dropped husband back off at work, came home, ready to collapse in bed and sleep. Found giant puddle of dog pee in the upstairs hallway. Took nearly a whole roll of paper towels to sop it up. Good times.
Then, I slept for four hours. In the middle of one of the nicest days of the summer.
I woke up, had some cheese and crackers and watermelon for lunch. Ok, and another cookie. Went to pick up the kids from camp. Was late because I was watching a video about sharks online. Stopped at McDonald's for Frappes. Kids "needed" food. Placed order. When we got up to the window, they told us, "sorry, we just ran out of mocha frappe mix - do you want a caramel frappe?" I replied "No, the only reason I even came here was for a mocha frappe." They then showed me the one frappe they made, and the half frappe with what was left. Harrison offered to have a caramel frappe. They then informed us they were also out of whipped cream. Gave us four cards that said "FREE SMALL FRY" for our next visit. Joy.
Went to husband's work to surprise him with a frappe. Sent several text messages. Called. No answer. Texted "ya snooze, ya lose" and drove home. Found husband in garage. Oh! Gave him frappe. Checked Facebook and email. Decided to accompany husband on evening errands and taking son to band practice. Convinced Arlie to go with me.
Arlie and I enjoyed a reggae concert at the park, while Jeff did boring things like go to the auto parts store and deposit checks. Harrison got his jam on at band practice. Jeff picked us up and we dropped him off at Home Depot while we went on a wild goose chase to find a perfect spot to photograph the sunset. Never did find the perfect spot but drove in a giant circle through three towns, stopped at Taco Time, and finally made it back to the hardware store to pick up Jeff. Only after that did I see these texts: U forget me or find a sunset. And: Creepy young kid in an old yellow pickup just asked me if I needed a ride, hurry! Drove home contemplating young kids intentions (speculations included kidnapping Jeff and tying him up in the canopy of the pickup). Stuffed soft taco in my mouth while I explained to Jeff why we didn't buy him any food. Whoops.
Got home, uploaded pictures, checked email, loitered on Facebook. Husband ate dinner of chicken, watermelon, guacamole. Kids made pie-iron pizzas with friends. Things were loud. Things got quiet. Winding down. Bedtime.
Oh! Why did I title this "I feel fat..." ? Because I ate nothing but junk all day. We return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Maybe.