Sunday, August 12, 2012

Cat people..........

I am certain I now know why some people are "cat people". These people were once "dog people" but had an unfortunate experience with a dog, and decided cats were much easier. Let me explain:

Yesterday, after returning home from an afternoon at the beach, we let the dogs outside to go potty and get a drink of water. Shade has no filters, therefore, he has no idea when he's had too much water, and keeps on drinking (he also doesn't know the difference between a cupcake and the wrapper and thinks wood siding is a dog treat, so there you go). After their thirst was quenched, the dogs were let back inside. All was well until IT happened.

IT was a very odd, non-human, but not quite dog-like sound. Something akin to a watermelon being dropped on cement, but with more sploosh. I glanced to my right and saw a river of liquid quickly pouring around the corner of the kitchen counter. I jumped up, not quite understanding how a puddle of liquid that size could emanate from the kitchen table and quickly discovered that Shade had spontaneously combusted and disappeared in a puff of smoke! (Sorry, just fantasizing). The dog had "delivered" his several gallons of water onto the kitchen floor and it was not unlike a toilet overflowing - in fact, paper towels alone were not adequate to clean it up. Out came the mop and bucket (me) and the carpet cleaner (Jeff) because he had also left a nice puddle on the family room carpet.

Now, everyone enjoys cleaning up messes like this late in the evening, no? Not only did it take me several passes with the mop to get the puddle cleaned up, but then I discovered just how filthy my kitchen floor was anyway. But I didn't mop the rest of it. Why expend the energy when I live with Shade?

The moral of this story is I, once again, spent the evening secretly (or maybe not so secretly) wishing Shade would just DIE already. Hannah put it best when she said "I mean, I don't want him to necessarily DIE, but I just don't want to deal with him anymore!" Exactly. Ugh. So, this is why I believe I am becoming a cat person. As much as I like Georgette and she can be pretty cute and sweet, I still can't miss the tufts of dog hair constantly rolling across the floor, the potty accidents, the barfing......well, maybe that's just Shade, but cats are just so much easier. SO much. Even though the one cat we have doesn't like me much, I still prefer her over Shade. She hides all day and barely ever comes out. Once in a while she lets me scratch behind her ears. Other than that, we leave each other alone and I am perfectly fine with that.

Bad dog, Shade! Again.

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