Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Make it erect!

Tonight we decorated the tree. This was notable for two reasons. One, we were all in one place at one time (albeit not for long) and two, we laughed and no one hit anyone else. Well, not much anyway.

It's hard to coordinate all the Christmas tradition things we want to do, and sometimes we have to squeeze something into a work/school night to make it happen. Or, as in the case tonight, squeeze tree-decorating in between dinner and oldest daughter going on a date!

I have the ornaments divided up by kid. Everyone is amassing their own collection so that one day, they will have a tree full of ornaments of their own. It's fun to look through them and remember. There was a lot of "oohing" and "awwing"...ok, that was just me. From the kids: "Oh my God. Look at the gap between my teeth! I could fit my pinky in there!" (to a framed photo ornament) to "When did I get this?" (said way too many times tonight - c'mon people! MEMORIES!).

But the thing is........we are not a normal family. I mean, I'm not sure what a normal family constitutes, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't lend itself to making sexual innuendos about the erect state of the tree topper. But we went there. And we laughed a LOT.

The best part was Hayley was going on a date tonight with a boy she met at the mall. Of course, we had never met him, so Jeff went to the garage, pulled his pants up to his chest, put on a camouflage jacket, an orange hunting hat, and came in and sat down sharpening a hunting knife. Hayley was mortified! We were so loud and obnoxious, and she was terrified that her date would arrive while we were in the midst of being....well, US. I said "When he arrives, I'll just want a couple of pictures of you two in front of the tree, and I'll make sure the family is normal - you know - sitting around drinking hot cocoa while singing Christmas carols." I thought she might hit me.

Later, Jeff came into the living room with two "mugs" of hot cocoa. These mugs are shaped like a boob and a penis and are totally oversized and quite disgusting. We found them in his grandpa's garage (I don't even want to know the story behind them) and couldn't pass up hauling them from San Diego back to Seattle for the sole purpose of mortifying our children. He handed me my mug and while we pretended to drink from them, I motioned out the window with my mug and said "Oh, there he is now!" I thought Hayley would die.

When Mr. Date finally did arrive he was quite dashing and very polite. After they left we all swooned over how cute he was.

My head hurt from all the loudness and laughing that ensued from tonight's antics but it was worth it. Family time, even highly dysfunctional family time, is always worth it. Who am I kidding? Dysfunctional family time is the BEST.

Epilogue: Date was a success. Daughter was on cloud nine, giggly and happy. Well-deserved!

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