Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Drama queen surgery......

This morning, bright and early, Hayley had her tonsils removed. This was her choice, but after having strep and tonsillitis for many years, she decided enough was enough and arranged to have her surgery. Since she's old enough to do that now, I didn't have much say about it, but I went along to provide support, a ride, and pay the bills.

The only thing in the world that could get Hayley up before the crack of noon had kicked in - nerves - and she was up a full hour or two before we needed to leave. Comfy clothes, check. Glasses, no contacts, check. Removal of all jewelry including heinous new gauges in her ears, check. We were off!

When we arrived for check-in and were answering questions, I noticed a bunch of stuffed animals in bags behind the receptionist. As we filled out forms, she rummaged around and produced a teddy bear, which Hayley snatched to her chest like the toddler she is. Then, she signed her own consent forms, very adult-like.

When we were taken into the pre-op room to wait, I explained how the operation would work. "They take this big fork thing and stick it down your throat and twist until your tonsils pop off." LOL! Nothing like some sick humor when the nerves are kicking in. Just one of the many services I provide! She changed into a gown, much chagrined that she couldn't keep her bra on, and struck a sexy pose, like no one else can wearing two cotton gowns with strings and a pair of grey fuzzy hospital socks.

As she bounced and twitched in anticipation, I explained that once the blue cap came out, it was all over. She said "I hope they give me morphine. I love that stuff!" Um......

The nurse arrived with the blue cap which means "mom leaves now" and she took my baby to rip out her organs.

And then I waited. And got coffee. And texted. And used my phone so much checking my email and Facebook, and taking selfies that I immediately deleted, that the battery nearly ran out and I had to go tell them that my phone might not work any more so they better send someone out to let me know when she was ready.

And then I remembered I was going to film her in case she said anything funny while coming out from anesthesia, but my phone wouldn't work any more so I decided to use her phone and they came to get me. And she didn't say anything funny at all!

Soon enough, we were headed home where I made her chocolate pudding and she went to bed. I charged my phone and set alarms for every four hours. Because I am taking no chances with this one - I WILL make sure meds are on board and on time. For the sake of all who know her and love her.

And then I made a Chinese chicken salad for Arlie's gymnastics banquet tonight, which I'm sure isn't Chinese at all. The salad, not the banquet. And I ate lunch. And I was very, very tired.

And then I walked by the bathroom mirror and saw my grey roots and thought, damn it! I have been meaning to color my hair for days now but I keep forgetting until I walk past a mirror. So, then I thought if I'm going to color my hair and have to get in the shower anyway, I might as well work out, because why waste a perfectly good shower when I could do something good for my heart first, and then I thought fuck it. I'm going to take a nap.

And that is the story of our morning. I'm going to nap while my baby naps. Great advice I got at that very same hospital when she was an infant. But only for 24 minutes because then it's time for the powerful meds who's names being with hydro and oxy. For Hayley, of course. Not me. Psh.

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