Friday, September 6, 2013

What was I thinking?

Ok, day 6 and I've forgotten to blog twice. What was I thinking anyway? I can't find the time to exercise every day, or clean my house, or get all my errands done - so why would I have time to blog?

Last night, I actually had no plans so I, of course, had an agenda of doing laundry, cleaning my room, making dinner, writing a blog post.....etc. But then, in the middle of scrolling through Facebook, my friend Tonya called me.

Tonya: Hey, what are you doing right now?
Me: Not much.
Tonya: Ok, so I have to go kayaking this weekend and I apparently have to buy some non-cotton shorts or capris or something that will dry quickly. I have nothing like that so I'm going to the mall and wanted to see if you would go with me to give me an honest opinion when I squeeze my ass into exercise clothes.

We made a beeline for JCPenney, upstairs to their "fat lady" section. They like to call it "Women's" but they're not fooling anyone. They had a surprisingly good collection of exercise wear, with all manner of yoga capris, wicking fabrics, and t-shirts long enough to cover the hideousness that is a "front butt" in yoga pants. I was just along for the ride and to offer an opinion, but of course I got sidetracked by the $6.99 clearance rack, and, in the end, bought four new shirts and some yoga capris. Tonya did get an appropriate kayaking outfit - black yoga capris and a cute, blue t-shirt (and a few other shirts - hey, they were $6.99!).  While she was trying things on, her daughter called. Tonya informed her that she found "something that doesn't make me want to cry!"

In between, we tried on all sorts of clothes, including a dress that made me look like a stuffed sausage and a sports bra that damn near asphyxiated Tonya when she tried to get it on. She also tried on several yoga capris, and found that going one size larger just gave her an "outside labia." And this is why I love her. Who even THINKS up these things? Tonya does.

After the demoralizing experience that is trying on fat lady clothes, we headed to the bar. Because there's nothing a few beers and some artichoke dip can't solve. Nothing!

Diet starts tomorrow................

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