Friday, November 15, 2013

Purse envy......

I bought a new purse the other day. It was on sale for $17.99 at Payless shoes and I had a coupon so the grand total was just under fifteen bucks. My old purse is cute, but it's getting worn out and I can't stand the look of a worn-out, tacky purse. So, I just bought a new one.

Many of my female counterparts sport fancy handbags from Coach and the like. Purses that cost hundreds of dollars and last forever. And therein lies the problem.

I do not WANT my purse to last forever!

I get bored of my purse. Sometimes I like to carry a bag so big I can fit everything I need plus a water bottle and snacks in case of the zombie apocalypse. Other times, I want to pare down to something small, compact and cute - but inevitably wind up buying a bigger bag because the small and cute one does not meet my minimum requirements.

What are those minimum requirements? Glad you asked. My purse must:
1. Be big enough for my "August to August" calendar that I buy at Barnes and Noble every year because it makes sense - my life runs on school time so why not have a calendar that complies with the school year and summer? Whatever, it works for me. This calendar is the size of a standard book.
2. Fit my coupon organizer. I take it with me everywhere. Don't worry, I'm not the crazy coupon lady but if I can save $1 off Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, I'm down. And if I don't carry the coupons with me, I'll never use them.
3. Also fit my checkbook (which I almost never use), my wallet, and my bag of "car makeup" which is entirely different from "home makeup" and which I almost never use but I'm always glad I have when I leave the house with no mascara on.
4. Have two pockets in it - one for holding my garage door opener (yes, it's supposed to be ON my keychain, but it got slammed in the trunk once and broke - not my fault - so now I just carry the key fob in my purse pocket) and my mail key. The other pocket is for other random stuff, like my pink pocket knife. Don't fuck with me. I carry a blade.
5. Have a pocket somewhere on the side where I can drop my keys and quickly relocate them. I've had entirely too many crazy screaming banshee fits over not being able to find my keys only to discover they've been hiding in the depths of my purse right next to the gum wrappers.
6. Have just enough extra room to carry someone else's wallet and keys, or random shit the kids ask me to carry, so I don't have to carry it all in my hands when someone says "hold this a sec."
7. Have a handle long enough to go over my shoulder and not fall down when my arms are full, but not so long that it hits me below my ribcage.
8. Be made of a material that I can wipe down with a Clorox wipe after I watch a news report about how much fecal matter a common purse carries. Gross.

So, I mean, it's not like I'm super picky or anything......but.

I do not want to spend $100 on a purse that I feel obligated to carry forever. I get BORED of my purse and need to change it up once in a while. I once picked up a purse for $20 at Target in a dark turquoise color. I got more compliments on that purse than any before. Everyone loved that purse. I actually brought it out of retirement because the relationship I was having with my current purse was rocky at best. But, alas, old turquoise was just too used-up for me. It was starting to look shabby and the last thing I want to do is be THAT girl carrying the ratchet purse.

I bought a substitute turquoise purse but it was neither the right shade, nor had the right requirements and so, although I carried it for quite a while, the break-up was inevitable, and truth be told, doomed from the start. Plus, the shabbiness was showing so it was time to kick that trashy girl to the curb.

Finding a replacement is never easy, but this time I told myself I WOULD find something in the hour and a half I had to shop while the kid was at gymnastics. I perused TJ Maxx, Target, and finally, in the final 15 minutes, Payless Shoes, which - who even knew they had purses? But there it was, on sale and everything. It's not like it was love at first sight - it was more like: she had the requirements, she was black (it's winter - black purses rule - plus once you go black.....), and she was a bargain. I guess at a certain point, you start to look past the flaws and love the one you're with.

My kids rolled their eyes. "Mom, you ALWAYS buy new purses!" Partially true - I do buy a new purse once or twice a year. But variety is the spice of life, man. And my new girl fits just right. Until I kick her to the curb. I'm ruthless like that.


jeff said...

Funny the the differences between men and women - when I finally make my purse I will use and keep it forever:)

Az Leland said...

I loved reading this post, mostly because I can completely relate to it. If Jim were to read it, he would think that I wrote it. (except you have much better grammar and use of words than I do. Lol)

Anyways. I used to have purses upon purses that I would switch out whenever I was "bored" of the last one. I had always wanted a coach purse but never rationalized it. Because let’s be honest, with how often I purchased a new purse and how many purses I could get for the same price as a coach I could get nearly a dozen new ones. I always stopped by the coach store when I was at the Alderwood mall, just to window shop and drool over the pretty purses. Then one Christmas season they came out with this hot pink purse. I went in and it was the EXACT design I usually buy. I was in love. So all that other stuff aside, I decided I wanted it. I used my bonus from work to buy it, because I was paying full retail for it. So now I was feeling a little less guilty about spending the $300 for it.
I have to pause for a moment to say how amazing Jim is. I waffled back and forth for weeks before I actually purchased it and then even once I brought it home Jim had to talk me out of returning the purse several times. To the point of if I brought up returning it again he would pour something in it so I couldn't. Well that shut me up. Lol.
I have never been so happy with a purse in my life! Just like your turquoise purse, everyone loved mine. I was SO upset when the threading on the handle started to come undone, so I took it to the coach store. I was in tears when they told me that they were not able to repair the purse but they were amazing when they told me I would get full retail value to purchase a new one of my choice. I picked out a nice black one and mourned over the loss of my very favorite purse. About 2 years after I got my black one, I found the seam on the inside pocket coming undone. So into the coach store I went again. This time, it was an hour and a half drive. There is normally a $20 charge to repair they waived the fee, but now I was going to be out of a purse for several weeks. Luckily, a friend loaned me her purse.
So now on the market for a new purse. (I didn’t like hers) We were headed to Seattle and stopped at the outlet store. I went in while Jim and the kids waited in the car. I do have to say, the staff are SO helpful. They helped me find JUST the purse I was looking for, and a matching wallet. I text Jim to have him run in to get the okay. I don’t know why I did, because he approved without even really looking at it. Lol.
So now I have my 3rd coach and I will never go back. Every once in a while I will look at other purses but they just aren’t the same. And when you break those purses they just get thrown out. Coach will repair the purse and you can still use them. And the outlet is the place to go to get the purse you want. A $400 purse is marked down to usually $90. Which makes it much easier for me to rationalize with. Plus, who doesn’t want to “save” that much money on something. Lol. Jims coworker went on Black Friday and spent $250 for about $1500 worth of purses and such. So Im already starting a fund to go next year.
I will probably buy a new one soon so if you ever want to meet me at the outlet mall in North Bend, just let me know. ;)