2016 - A picture recap

2016 - it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In some ways, it was an unbelievable year of horror, celebrity deaths, and the election of an orange buffoon for President. Like most, I was happy to kick 2016 to the curb. But, plenty of good things happened this year so let's take a look back! 

In January I tried out straight hair with a keratin straightener. It was fun for a while, but I'm a curly girl at heart. 

Harrison turned 17! Here he is on his birthday, with his free Starbucks drink, at a work party for his upcoming play, Much Ado About Nothing. 

Here is his birthday table! 

Here he is as Borachio in Much Ado About Nothing. Nice 'stache. 

We went to Deming, WA to photograph eagles with my new 600mm lens. 

In February, Arlie turned 18! We celebrated at an Italian restaurant. She's an adult now! 

We had to say goodbye to our sweet Georgette, and it broke our hearts. Definitely one of the worst days of 2016.  She was the best dog ever! RIP sweet Georgie, May 25, 2002 - February 2, 2016

Jeff did a "living history" talk about mountain men at the local elementary school. The kids LOVED it!

Harrison was chosen as a participant in "Mr. Bothell" at school. His first pageant! LOL!

I took a food tour of Pike Place Market with my good friends Amy and Carla for Carla's 50th birthday! Here we are, scoring some premium weed. Lol, kidding. It's stevia. No, really.

In March, I went to Boise and went to Paint 'n Sip with Justine, Sydney, Marcia and Mimi. We did a painting of a wine bottle and some pumpkins. Except me. I painted a vineyard because I do what I want. 

I celebrated St. Patrick's day with my best friends Tonya and Janet! I swiped these glasses from my school. I really think they made my outfit. 

In April, we kicked off kayak season and I wore my awesome new shirt! Kayaking is my happy place. My zen. My me time. I love kayaking. 

Tulip season started off early but it was as beautiful as ever! Here are the tulips in Skagit Valley. I went up with a friend one sunny afternoon because no one else really wanted to go. I'm glad I went - it was gorgeous as always.

We took a trip to the zoo with a bunch of little ones. The zoo is always more fun with little kids. 

Harrison played Max Detweiler and Arlie played Louisa in "The Sound of Music." They were both so good and the play was one of the best I've seen at their school. So proud of these two!

In May, I fulfilled a bucket list item and went to a writing retreat with these two lovely ladies (and accomplished authors), Amanda Turner and Elaine Ambrose. I had a great time, outlined my book, and spent tons of time quietly writing, enjoying the scenery, and eating delicious food. 

And I was published in a book! My essay about pooping at Target made it into Feisty After 45, an anthology of midlife bloggers' funniest work. I finally got published in an anthology and it's an essay about pooping. That's such a metaphor for my life. 

Harrison and his band, Bushwhack, had a gig at Sound Check bar and grill. It has since closed, but was a fun venue because it's where the "big kids" play. 

Arlie went to prom with her boyfriend, Mason. Look how beautiful she is! I was at my writing retreat at the time and it killed me to miss it. Hayley took pictures, though, and they turned out great. 

We went kayaking and I came face-to-face with a bald eagle! Two of them, actually, but one flew off before I got my wits about me to take a picture! 

Hayley and Megan got engaged and we had an engagement party at our house. Yay, a wedding in 2017! We are so excited. Later, we reserved the venue, a historic chapel not far from here. We love these two ladies and can't wait for them to start their married life together.

We went to Teatro Zinzanni for Rylie's 18th birthday. So much fun celebrating with the one and only Christine Deaver (who came over to our house for dinner in the summer!). We LOVE Teatro and were so lucky to be able to get the whole family there. 

We kicked off June by doing some home improvement, inspired by a leak in the upstairs bathroom. Good times. Lots of painting (thanks, Jeff!)

Arlie received her senior speech at the Thespian Banquet, and Harrison gave a speech for his senior. Here they are with Ms. Glass, their drama teacher/director. 

Arlie and Rylie graduated! Yay, class of 2016! Arlie was salutatorian. We are so proud of these two ladies, overcoming many obstacles on their way to a successful end to their high school years. They worked so hard!

We went to the Pride parade in Seattle. So much fun and craziness! (However, this day was also a low point of the year when my camera and handmade leather backpack were stolen from our car later in the day - not in Seattle, but more local, in Lynnwood, outside of Fred Meyer while we enjoyed ice cream at Baskin Robbins for 20 minutes. Sigh. I'm still sad).

We also went to a Mariner's game the same day as Pride! Our friend gave us free tickets - score!

In July, Jeff turned 48! Here he is with his birthday table. He spent the day relaxing in his new lounge chair outside and reading. 

We went to the Bothell 4th of July parade! So much fun! Look how festive we are. 

Hayley turned 23. Here she is with her birthday table. The birthday fairy still comes even when you move out! 

Harrison starred as Cliff in Cabaret. Here he is with his Sally Bowles, Erin Hyatt. The show was fantastic!

A huge highlight of our year - we adopted our new puppy, Junie B! She is a Husky/Shar Pei/Shepherd/Pomeranian mix. She is so beautiful and look how little and cute she was! She has grown so much since then.

We went to Boise again, and back to Paint 'n Sip, this time with Mimi, Marcia, Sydney and Monica. We were supposed to paint an outhouse, but as usual, I did what I wanted and made mine a cabin because.......an outhouse? Wtf? 

We were also in Boise to celebrate the boys' birthdays. These three kids are our little loves! Wish we lived closer to see them more often. 

We took Megan kayaking and crabbing on the Sound. She had never had fresh crab straight from the water before. We cooked it on the beach. YUM! 

We kept up on the home improvement by buying new patio furniture. 

In August, we took a lovely vacation to Florence, OR and stayed in a bed and breakfast. This is a re-creation of a sunset pic we took of the kids in 2008. Nothing like the beach with family. So relaxing!

Hannah turned 21! Here she is with her birthday table. Finally old enough to drink! We did go to Red Robin so she could order a drink but she didn't even have to use her ID because the waiter knew it was her birthday. 

We took Junie B kayaking. Such a good water dog! 

Harrison and his band, Bushwhack, performed at the Seattle Premium Outlets, and received new Doc Marten shoes as payment! 

We had taco Tuesday with our good friends, Haley and Lexie. Love keeping up long-term friendships. Lexie was leaving for a study-abroad trip to Spain.

Flower and David visited Seattle and we went everywhere! Downtown, the Fremont Troll, Archie McPhees, the waterfront, Pike Place. It was a packed couple of days. 

We went kayaking at Lost Lake on Flower's 24th birthday!

We taught Junie B to paddleboard! Good dog! 

Bushwhack performed at the Woodinville parade, on the flatbed truck. Rock stars!

Hannah had double jaw surgery. It was tough - six weeks of no chewing, and a liquid diet at first. She was such a great patient! And her face looks so different now.

We went to see Joan Jett, Heart and Cheap Trick in concert at the White River Amphitheater. We decided we'd never make the long drive again but it was fun to hear some old favorites. 

In September we went to the fair! Selfie with a goat! And he's sticking his tongue out. Cheeky goat!

Hannah and I went to a Paint Nite event and she finally got to use her ID to buy a drink! We painted owls and, following paint event protocol for me, I made mine very "fall-y" because I don't like to be told what to do. 

Harrison started his senior year of high school. Class of 2017! This is it, folks. The end of an era - my last baby is graduating. 

Harrison and his boyfriend, Alec, went to homecoming. How handsome are they? I also missed this one and Hayley took pictures. I was out of town. Mom of the year. 

Arlie had her wisdom teeth out - here she is with Hannah - twins with their post-surgical chubby cheeks! Arlie's antics after surgery meds were hilarious and we have video for posterity. 

In October, Hayley and I went to an alcohol painting class. No, not the kind where you DRINK alcohol (sadly) but the kind of alcohol you mix paint with. Here are our masterpieces! 

Jeff and I took a trip to Pennsylvania for a conference where he was a speaker. We took a covered bridge tour this day. Beautiful fall colors everywhere!

We visited Hershey, PA where we experienced all things chocolate at Hershey Chocolate World. 

We also took a quick side trip to New York City! It was a whirlwind but we had David and Flower as our guides and we accomplished a LOT in one day. We will be back in Jan. 2017 when Harrison performs with his choir at Carnegie Hall. 

Harrison was in the homecoming court at his school for "virtuoso" - someone who excels at his activity, in his case, choir and drama. Here he is before the game. 

We managed to squeeze in a trip to the pumpkin patch the day before Halloween. We spent $120 on pumpkins and only carved half of them. Next year it's bring-your-own-pumpkin! Plus it was muddy and kind of cold. Perhaps it's time to give up the giant family pumpkin patch visit?

We celebrated Halloween! Here is Hayley in her costume - Eleven from the TV show "Stranger Things". She made Hannah go to the store with her to get this shot with the waffles. 

In November, we did a quick photo shoot for Harrison's yearbook photo. This is after he dyed his hair purple and it had faded out. He's so handsome!

Harrison and his boyfriend, Alec, had their wisdom teeth out on the same day and recovered together at our house. It made for some funny pictures!

We celebrated our sister-in-law (and aunt) Heather's 44th birthday in the hospital after a successful double lung transplant that we never thought would happen! It was a miracle and a very special birthday, indeed. The second pic is the day Heather's girls, Makayla and Maiya, first saw their mom post-surgery. It was an emotional reunion.

We had a big family Thanksgiving with Sydney and Stu, the littles, Greg and the girls. Lots to be thankful for this year!

Loved spending time with these three over Thanksgiving weekend. 

In December, we saw The Little Mermaid at the 5th Avenue Theater! It was amazing!

We had a snow day! Junie B loved the snow like the little Husky she is. Also, look how big she's grown!

I celebrated my 49th birthday. Here is my birthday table. How did I get to be 49? I thought I was 29!

On my birthday, Jeff and I celebrated at his company party and stayed overnight at the Sheraton in Seattle. We got all dressed up - I borrowed my dress from someone on my gifting group. Afterward, she let me keep it. The party was a masquerade theme in a ballroom with ice sculptures, dancing and karaoke. Fancy pants!

We had an ugly sweater party. It was more of a gathering of the kids' friends - and only one adult came, which was fine with us, because we were tired. Proof that we're getting old. Ugh!

We celebrated Christmas early with Hayley and Megan because they were headed to Indiana to spend the holidays. Onesie jammies for everyone!

We went to Snowflake Lane to experience the magic of the season, but it turned out to be just a huge crowd and a parade/show we couldn't see. Still, fake snow! Yay! 

Christmas morning came and we celebrated with our not-so-little-anymore kids. Ok, so two of them are technically adults. Sigh. 

We had a big family Christmas with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, fiancees and boyfriends. We are so lucky. There was a present explosion. We had brunch on paper plates because I couldn't get my shit together to do real plates, and also the tables weren't cleaned off so we just sort of ate around the junk and it was messy and loud and chaotic. But it was also so good. Because, family. 

We said goodbye to 2016 in a grand finale of celebration, seeing Trans-Siberian Orchestra at Key Arena (another bucket list item checked off) and then stepping out to the spectacular fireworks at the Space Needle as snow started to fall. It was so perfect and magical, right up until we spent two solid hours in the parking garage because the traffic did not move one inch. And then we were hungry so we went to McDonald's at 3 a.m. and waited in line for like 40 minutes only to find out they were only serving breakfast so we just came home and ate whatever we could find and collapsed into bed after 4 a.m. But still, it was an incredible night and when was the last time we stayed up till 4 a.m.? 

Farewell, 2016. You were good in all the best ways and you kicked our asses in other ways. But look how lucky we are. Another year gone, another year of memories tucked away and a clean slate awaiting us for 2017. We're ready! 

Too old for weekend projects..........

This weekend we embarked on an ambitious project - turning my office into a guest room! The reasons for this were many. That particular room has morphed from playroom, to my personal office/junk room/convenient dumping zone, to a kid's bedroom, to another kid's bedroom, back to an office, to a room housing two teen friends who lived with us for a while, back to an office and finally, to a guest room. It will still double as "my" space since the closets are full of empty promises - scrapbooks I'll probably never make, photos that live in dark boxes, craft projects that may or may not come to fruition - but for the most part, it's slowly becoming a sanctuary for our family and friends who might be inclined to visit.

But, here's the thing. I think we're too old for ambitious weekend projects. Two days of painting, cleaning, organizing, purging, errand-running and sweating was not enough to complete the project fully, and my husband spent a good chunk of today "icing his back" which meant he was napping upstairs. The house is in all sorts of disarray. It will take the rest of the week to sort it all out. And I'm sort of "over it" already but now there's this big mess. Sigh.

I started the weekend off with a detailed list. It included ALL of the things needed to transition my office to a guest room, and also things like "finish book club book" and "clean bathroom". HAHA! I crack myself up. I didn't plan on things like buying a headboard and footboard that required a special bed frame that NO store in the world carries, but that can be ordered online. That, alone, put us behind schedule, because, you know, TWO days was all we allowed. My husband primed and painted while I sorted through years' worth of stuff. And you know how one things leads to another? Well, once we started on the room, we decided some things needed to be stored in the garage which led to a mini clean-up of the garage (haha - just a two-hour detour) and the next thing I knew, I was sorting through the kids' dress-up clothes. What the hell? My kids don't even play dress up anymore, but you never know when you might need a Halloween costume, right?

In the meantime, I was posting stuff to give away on my gifting group, and people were coming and taking crap off my porch all day long. I even somehow got the outdoors involved by deciding that the lava rock we have in the dog run needed to go, so some nice ladies came and scooped up wheelbarrows full of that nasty rock and carted it off for their own gardens. Because, used lava rock has everything to do with a new guest room. Right?

This morning I decided to make a rare trip to Walmart. I almost never go there because.....Walmart. But where else can you outfit a whole room for such a bargain price? So, armed with just three chocolate-chip cookies and a travel coffee mug full of milk, I headed into the unknown. Upon arriving I met the gaze of a disheveled young man lurking in the parking lot. He was pacing and looking around nervously and there was evil in his eyes. Or maybe just disinterest. I immediately asked myself why a young 20-something man was lurking in the parking lot of a Walmart at 9:45 a.m. and I could only come up with all manner of criminal scenarios. My next gaze met a slightly older man pacing in front of the store, smoking a cigarette. I surmised the two were connected somehow, the 20-something and the 30-something, and surely they plotted evil. I contemplated not entering the store. The 30-something extinguished his cigarette, put the butt in the garbage and headed inside. Ah, just an employee on his smoke break. Nothing to see here, folks. (I still kept an eye out for the shifty college kid, though). Also, I need to stop watching crime shows.

I acquired most of the bedding in short order, and began my quest to purchase a laptop for a family member who is in the hospital. I circled around to the laptops, became utterly confused, stood in the aisle for several minutes researching laptops on Amazon, then remembered I forgot to buy a mattress pad. So, I circled back around to the bedding again. Then, I thought, a blanket would be nice. And, oh yeah, I needed some new hand towels for the guest bathroom. And a birthday gift. And a stuffed hedgehog that makes a sound like a pig (for the puppy) and a big bottle of Tums because I was in Walmart. Back to the laptops. This time, I would ask the kind young man working the register to help me. I asked a few basic questions and he stood, slack-jawed with nary a spark of understanding in his eyes. "You know," he said, "I'm not very techy - I'm kinda behind on technology. What I DO know is gaming - do you have any gaming questions?" Um......no.

I messaged my neighbor, who is my go-to for all things computer-related, and he was kind enough to muddle through the options with me over the phone. Slack-Jaw came around a couple of more times asking me if I needed any help. I told him I had "my guy" on the phone and I was good. I remembered a few more things I needed, grabbed a bedside lamp for the guest room because it was cute and matched the bedding, saw pumpkin spice oatmeal so of course I had to get that, and just because I happened down the aisle that sold Pioneer Woman kitchenware, decided I really did need two new saute pans from the "country kitchen" collection. And then I remembered the stupid bed frame and went to the furniture aisle only to find out that Walmart doesn't carry it, so I called several mattress and furniture stores from the rug aisle while I picked out some kitchen rugs, because the puppy chewed all of mine.  Oh yes, the laptop.

I decided on the one I wanted, acquired the actual laptop with the help of Slack-Jaw's co-worker who knew how to retrieve one from "the back" and then enjoyed a personal escort to the cash register, lest I decide to tuck the 16x12 laptop box under my arm and make a run for it, wearing my heeled sandals that I can barely walk in, much less run. Plus, I don't run.

On the way to the register, we passed through a beverage aisle. Three hours at Walmart had made me tired, slightly sweaty, thirsty, starving and near tears from all the DECISIONS I had to make. I spotted a bucket of margaritas and I paused, contemplating opening the spout and letting the contents pour into my open mouth. But then I remembered that you have to put the actual tequila in the bucket first and it's better frozen, and they frown upon acts of desperation in Aisle 10. So, I continued on my way and the employee/pretend security agent walking with me was kind enough to pause with me, let me have my fantasy, and move on without a word or judgement.

At checkout, a total rang up that rivaled my most expensive Costco shopping trip. I loaded up the car, by this time shaking from hunger, and called my husband to bitch about how long this shopping trip took me, and did he want anything from Taco Time? And why was he just now finished painting? Did he KNOW it was after noon?

After a delectable lunch of soft tacos that came back to haunt me hours later, we got back to work. Right around the time my brother-in-law texted me that he was on his way. TO STAY IN OUR GUEST ROOM! At that moment, the room was empty with painting tape still surrounding the windows and door. The house was beyond messy, piles of stuff everywhere, and I knew I needed to surrender to the fact that yet another ambitious project with an impossible deadline did not get completed.

We pressed on, dragging the bed and box spring into the room to rest on the floor, since the frame won't be available until tomorrow. I washed and dried all the new bedding, but the Egyptian cotton blanket I purchased on one of my circles around Walmart took THREE hours to dry so now I already HATE that blanket and it hasn't even experienced life outside of its plastic zippered pouch for more than half a day. I finally made the bed at 9:30 p.m. except for that stupid blanket so I hope our guest doesn't freeze tonight for lack of warm bedding.

I just really want to hire people to make my ideas come to life. This working hard thing is so overrated. But maybe in a few days, the room will actually look sort of put-together. And I'll take a picture and post it online and say "look at our new guest room - so cozy and peaceful - come and visit and rest here while all your cares float away under your Egyptian cotton blanket!" And I will enjoy the two seconds while that room is actually clean and peaceful, before someone dumps a random pile of crap on the bed because it's "the spare room". Tonight..........tonight it's the guest room in all it's soft, grey, bare walls glory with magazine-perfect bedding and NO Egyptian cotton blanket because that's still in the dryer. We tried!

The last first day........

Yesterday my 17-year-old son left for his last first day of school. He's a senior and his sisters have all graduated. That means my time as a mom with school-aged kids is creeping to a close and I don't know how to feel about it.

On the one hand, HALLELUJAH! I won't miss all the forms to sign, the major guilt trips to volunteer, difficult teachers, the morning rush, the fees that bleed my checkbook dry. There is a certain joy in having your children grow into independent adults - driving themselves to their own jobs and their college classes, picking up their own deodorant at the store, occasionally even asking what YOU might need at the store, or dropping by with an unexpected coffee treat they purchased on their own. It's wonderful to see them navigate adult situations with grace (or sobbing, depending), and there's nothing quite like having an unguarded conversation with a child who becomes more of a peer than a dependent.

However........

I WILL miss watching my kids perform on stage in drama productions. I will miss volunteering for fun events, having a busy schedule filled with "kid stuff", being part of a school community, and hosting a gaggle of teenagers for a party. I will miss the predictability of a school year schedule, nine months of school and summers off, with planned vacation breaks. I will miss field trips, parties, bus stops and projects. I will miss choir concerts, band concerts, early-morning cheerleading, baseball games, softball games, dance classes and recitals, art lessons, and, yes, even the driving to and from places for hours each day. A lot of these memories have already gone; slipped away with the early years of school, and been replaced by trips across the country and a kids who have been driving for years.

But I will mostly miss this:

Our little, cheap, poster board "Back to School" sign that has graced each and every one of my boy's first days of school. And almost every one of his sisters' first days. It was an afterthought, really, something I saw online most likely, that made me search for something to make a sign with. All I had was a piece of yellow poster board, likely already written on, that I ended up cutting a small piece of. I decided to leave the year off so I could just add a sign year after year. Somehow, in 15 years, I managed to find a piece of yellow paper somewhere around the house to attach to the bottom of the sign with the proper year written on it. 

Other parents thought it was clever and borrowed it for their children. It was used at the bus stop every year until my youngest was out of elementary school. 

See those kids? They're all so old now!

My kids rarely complained about the obligatory photos. I even took it so far as to have them take it into the classroom on occasion to be photographed with their teacher.  

This picture made it into Family Fun, a national parenting magazine! 

In later years, this idea became more popular, with crafty parents employing elaborately-decorated chalkboards listing the child's stats - their current teacher, what they wanted to be when they grew up, their year in school - and I thought about upgrading, but as things happen, I ran out of time or energy or maybe I was just sort of attached to our silly yellow sign. And so it stayed. 

This First Day of School sign captured my kids at every stage and looking back on them is a treat - and perhaps a laugh or two! The clothing choices, the braces, the hair color - all reflect the individuals who weathered the storm of K-12 school and lived to tell about it. 

Clearly, Hayley was the least reluctant to have the first day of school photo done. Or, I just can't find them. Either way, here she is, through the years! 

 Hannah....she was in an independent study program half of junior and all of senior year, so I improvised. 

Arlie came into our family in 2005 and thus joined the sign-holding club! 

Harrison had the most photos, since he started preschool with the advent of the sign. 

I'm going to miss having kids in school. I'm going to miss having young ones. And I'm going to miss this stupid sign. It's the little things, really. They're the ones we hold dear. 

People suck sometimes........

Today was kind of a fun day. Not totally fun because of some dark spots in what should have been just an all-fun day, but kind of fun nonetheless.

We started out our day leaving early to secure a spot from which to watch the Pride parade. This was the first Pride for most of us - my son had attended before. My oldest was also attending with her friends and fiancee but we never had a chance to meet up with them today. First, we got there plenty early and found parking in a garage for $7 all day! Miracle! We snagged a prime spot at the start of the parade looking back so we were assured amazing pictures. But just before the parade started, rude people crowded in (despite the police officer's repeated warnings to get off the street and keep a path for vehicles). One girl stepped right in front of my daughter and I said "Can you please not stand right in front of her?" to which she replied "Fuck off!" Hmmm. Peace and love, y'all.

When the parade started, and for most of the duration, I could not see a thing. People crowded ten deep on the street in front of the barrier we were kind enough to stand behind (I know, right? Rule followers be damned!) It was a bummer because I was looking forward to taking lots of fun pictures. I handed my camera to my son who was able to take some pics from his taller vantage point. We watched the spectacle until it was time to go to the baseball game, which we were generously gifted tickets to.

We got to the game just as it was about to start and parked in the garage - for $40!!! Highway robbery. But the tickets were free, so we sucked it up. The tickets were nice - club level - and we ordered our food and had it delivered to our seats. Nice (despite the $80 price for what was essentially hot dogs and soda). The game itself was full of amazing home runs - only for the other team. I'm not one for sporting events, mostly because they are WAY too long for my taste, but everyone had fun even though we lost. My husband and I had beer spilled down our backs by a clumsy patron sitting behind us, but that didn't dampen our spirits for the day. It just made him cold and he dropped $50 on a fuzzy blanket to keep him and our always-cold daughter warm for the rest of the game (it was actually nice and warm today but the breeze and shade proved too much for our thinner-skinned family members).

After the game we picked up my son and his friend who had remained at the Pride festivities, dropped off his friend, and then decided to stop for ice cream. It seemed like a good end to a mostly fun day. We exited the car and headed in to the shop. We were gone 20 minutes. When we returned, the slider door on our van was open and my bag was gone. This bag was unique -Jeff made it by hand just for me - and we had used it as our day bag. It contained probably my most precious (non-human) possession - my camera! I had taken dozens of pictures from Pride and I carry that camera everywhere we go. I was shocked and in disbelief that it could actually be gone. But it was, and though we called police (they didn't come - they just said to file a report online) and asked the store to review their camera footage since we were parked directly across from a security camera (they denied it saying they would not look unless they had a police report) we, sadly, left empty-handed. The chances we will recover our items are slim. And it just made me hate everyone. I have such little faith in humanity. It seems there are more and more bad apples among us. Every single day in my community I hear stories of theft. It's almost like it's become so commonplace it's not even shocking anymore. We are so desensitized to crime. The whole idea of not taking things that are not yours is becoming extinct. It's such a violation and it erodes any sense of good faith. The sad truth that you can't even stop for ice cream with your family, or leave your house to go to work without risk of getting robbed just sucks. I'm so tired of it all.

This capped off two weeks of stress for our family, including two ER visits, numerous visits to specialists, multiple tests, a lot of waiting and "still no answers" , car trouble, a broken dishwasher, a canceled vacation - when it rains it really DOES pour, at least in our house lately. We're a tight little unit - we pretty much rely on each other because, while it appears from the outside that we have a lot of friends and an abundant community, we really just have our little family to get us through the tough times. And it's a lot! I keep thinking things must start looking up soon, but around every corner there's another emergency or unpleasant event and I'm just so tired of it all. I'm pretty good at juggling all the balls and keeping at least most of them in the air - I'm the one who stays calm in crisis, fixes things and gets us through the tough times. But, man, am I ever being tested right now. I'm not sure what I did to piss off someone or something, but I did it good, it seems. I'm ready for the rainbow!

It's always a balance of good and bad things. I just wish the scales would tip a little more to the good side these days!

The good and the bad.........

Let's see, it's June 14. Flag day. I just checked and my flag is flying in front of my house so that's something that's gone right today.

It's been a busy past few days. For one thing - GRADUATION! Yes, we successfully graduated the two 18-year-olds. Arlie and Rylie made it through many trials to wear those caps and gowns. Each of them worked hard despite many challenges and I was bursting with pride watching them graduate. It was a unique situation that day, as family and friends from all sides of the family converged in the theatre to witness graduation. Rylie's dad, mom, brother, friends and some family members cheered her on (loudly!) from the stands. Arlie's mom, grandma and brother arrived five minutes before the ceremony was over and missed her receiving her diploma. She blinked back tears and watched the door the entire time. It sucked. The good and the bad.

We had a nice party afterward. Jeff spent the morning picking up food at Costco. We decided to go simple and order sandwiches and cake. While he was waiting in line, he checked the bank balance. Meanwhile, I was on my way to the airport to pick up my sister. I arrived earlier than the plane (miracle!) and was circling the airport when I got a panicked call from him. We had NINE transactions for $230 each from a photo book app I have on my phone. It prints a book every time you have 60 Instagram pictures. The books are, like, six bucks each. Definitely not $230! Turns out, somehow nine entire series of the books I've printed had been ordered. By what means, I'm still not sure. So, while I circled the airport, I attempted to email their customer service and call my bank to report that my card had been compromised. Yes, I know that's not safe. In fact, I accidentally got on the freeway and had to go several miles out of my way to get back on the freeway and back to the airport. But, I picked up my sister on time and we chatted all the way home. Good and bad.

The day after graduation, I took a two-hour nap after everyone left. I crashed. Then, I accompanied Jeff on a two-hour trip to Leavenworth (a cute little Bavarian town) where he had a Trout Unlimited meeting the next day (I know, riveting). The hotel was less than stellar and a rowdy group of drunken guys shouted outside our room all night long, but someone yelled "shut up!" and they finally did. Jeff left early and I slept in, then got ready and went in search of food. There was a car show in town - but not one of those cool vintage car shows. It was one of those weird European car shows and the clientele was.....interesting. Plus, there was absolutely no parking so I headed out of town hoping to find a little restaurant or something. I had no idea where I was going and I turned toward the next town and ended up taking a huge loop through orchards which afforded gorgeous views but, alas, no food. I ended up back in town and stopped at a bakery that I forgot is kind of crappy so my "breakfast" at nearly lunch time was some dry pastries and a bottle of milk. Eh. Good and bad.

We managed to get the whole family together to go kayaking on Sunday. It was a beautiful, breezy, not-too-hot day and for a few hours we were all together. But earlier that morning some psycho shot 50 people in a nightclub in a homophobic rage so we were all traumatized by, yet again, another senseless shooting and I had to face the reality that I'm raising my kids; two straight ones, one gay one, one bisexual one, in a world that breeds hate for being "different." I listened to them try to express their feelings, their fears and their confusion and I realized I can't protect them, really, ever. Not anywhere or at any time. My almighty power as a mom is shit compared to the evil the world holds. And that sucks. But, ah, that glorious day on the lake. Good and bad.

We woke up this morning to our daughter writhing in pain on our bedroom floor. Went through the requisite analysis of symptoms and decided to head to urgent care. The first one we went to wasn't open (?) so we went to the ER. 3.5 hours, IV fluids, an ultrasound and CT scan later, we learned it was not appendicitis. So, that was good. But also bad because what the heck WAS it? While we were there, I kept feeling the most uncomfortable scratchiness in my boot. I finally removed it and found an earring I've been trying to find for two weeks. We picked up meds and headed home and now the sick one is sleeping it off and I'm in sweats on the couch finding out what it is my lazy kids do all day when I'm not around (Netflix and chill?). I missed yet another day of work.

Speaking of work, I resigned my position yesterday. I have had a difficult relationship with a coworker and, given the opportunity to do something different next year,  I knew I needed to make a change to preserve my sanity (and frankly, the sanity of my family who have had to listen to me complain for two years). It was a hard decision because I LOVE my school and my community but after two years I just don't see changes happening and so I took the leap and made a change. And it's kind of a big deal for me because I don't make those kinds of changes lightly. So, I'm pretty torn over it. But today when I had to miss work to take my kid to the ER and I felt guilty about it, I realized that the flexibility I'll have next year will prevent that guilt. And I can really put my family first without feeling like I'm letting someone else down. And yeah, my kids are nearly grown, but this is what's right for me, and us, right now. Good and bad.

I'm supposed to be working on writing every day and outlining my book. I'm supposed to be reading my book club book. I'm supposed to be working out every day. None of that is happening. It's the end of the school year and I'm just getting through the days till it's glorious summertime. Three more days. I have to pack my desk, say goodbye to my co-workers and my students (ugh) and come home to my messy house, my extra time to write and think and create and an open-ended summer with no agenda. It's all good. And some of it is bad. But it's mostly good.