Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Is there really any other way to take it?


Jeff was just going through his mail on his desk and said (looking at a magazine) "Oh, look here's an article about obesity drugs! Do you want to read it and learn something?" I mean, really? How else should I have taken that (how did I take it you may ask? By being offended and hurt because 1. I know I'm overweight, and 2. He's usually much more supportive than that)? He said "you took it the wrong way" but I'm not seeing any other way to take that. I guess it's time to look into bulimia or perhaps a nice bout of anorexia would suit me? Geesh, he's not exactly going to make the cover of Men's Health anytime soon. I recently read an article that said overweight women have more sex. And I'm thinking, really? And why? Maybe because they already know they are overweight so they just focus on being themselves instead of obsessing over every cellulite dimple? And those guys who always say "Oh, sure she's gained a few pounds, but I don't pay attention to that - I love my wife no matter what she weighs." Really? Do they? Maybe, but is it like you love your grandma even though she has an ample butt and wears flour sack frocks over her lumps and bumps? Or do they really love their wives in a husbandly kind of way, as in, my wife is someone I'm proud to be with? I have gained a lot of weight over the past three years, partly due to poor eating and exercise habits and the emotional eating wrought by a painful divorce, but mostly due to antianxiety medication that caused me to pile on the pounds, even though I was stepping up my exercise and eating healthier. Am I doing everything I can to lose weight? No. I'm not on a diet program, I visit Starbucks a couple times a week and indulge in a pastry, sometimes I eat more than one chocolate chip cookie. But I try to exercise regularly and I know I need to lose weight and I'm trying. It's not easy, as anyone who has tried to lose weight knows. It's a struggle, made even harder by bad genes (my whole family is overweight!) Seems everywhere you turn, everyone is trying to lose a few (or many) pounds, and it's hard! I WANT to be fit and healthy, and at a nice weight where my clothes fit comfortably. I'm not obsessed with being a certain weight or a certain size. I just want to feel strong and healthy. And most of the time I do. But what I don't need is a reminder from my husband that I'm fat. Or pressure to take drugs or have surgery to remedy that situation. Geesh..........

2 comments:

Mimi/Papa said...

I think Jeff was only saying this, although he could have put it another way maybe, in your behalf. Guys just don't have that knack for saying things that we really want to hear! In 45 yrs. of marriage, your dad is still doing it...hahaha Jeff has your health in his thoughts, and I think you should just thank him any time he may say something that you'd rather not hear. Then..lose some weight and tell him of each ounce lost!! That may keep him from dwelling on the subject! Men! We can't do without them; can't do with them! What are we to do??? Love you!!

chemrulz said...

I know what you're saying, Michele does it to me too, so it's not just men. But she's doing it as a health consciousness issue and not a "you're unattractive" issue, which I think is what the previous poster is saying. As far as the anti-depressent goes, I'm with ya. I went on Paxil, gained 40lbs and since I've been off, have only been able to lose 15lbs. But with persistance and perservance, the running is what is paying off for me. You just have to get to a comfortable stage where you can ramp it up. You might talk to your doc about a different med or use exercise to replace it. That's what I'm hoping to do (Zoloft now, nothing later). Hang in there, losing weight is the toughest battle.