Thursday, June 11, 2009


Ok, I know my kids read this blog and I've really made it a point to try HARD not to disparage their dad (at least where they can hear/read/etc.) but tonight I was just so blown away by his behavior that I cannot let it go. Hayley filled out a job application at Dairy Queen (we were all there after Hannah's choir concert). I was proud of her - here's a kid who wants to take initiative and make some money. She's of age to work there, so why not? Her dad told her she should "get a job in a place with some class." Now, granted Dairy Queen is not the Ritz, but it's a J-O-B, something he should be looking for instead of dabbling in real estate and bitching about not having any money. No kidding - you don't get money unless you have a job that pays you an hourly rate. Oh, sure, real estate can have some big payouts, but please! In this market? HE should be applying to DQ! The fact that he would even put in Hayley's head that she is somehow "above" working at DQ is amazing to me. This coming from a man who is not fulfilling his child support obligations and is supposedly broke. I read recently that the average cost of raising a child through college today is $960 a month. Doug pays a fraction of that in child support - and that's for THREE kids. I'm sorry, but I feel that if you bring a child into this world, you are obligated to support them through adulthood. If I were on my own (and thank God I'm not and I hope my kids forever know how much Jeff does to make their lives so good), I would never be able to support my kids in this house, in this town. I would have to move, live in substandard housing, probably be on some sort of public assistance, and relying on family and friends to help me out in emergencies. Thank God I am not in that situation, but I cannot believe he can look in the mirror every morning and think he's actually doing right by his children. I say more power to Hayley for having the responsibility to want to make her own money, no matter where she works. We've all worked "substandard" jobs - it's how we get our start in life - we gotta start somewhere! Jeff's first job was at Jack in the Box. And he's making a decent salary now, and providing for a family of six. Nothing wrong with starting out in fast food! Telling a kid she's too good for a job will only set her up for ridiculous expectations and eventually, failure. Instilling a good work ethic and pride in a job well done, whether it's working at DQ or shoveling horse manure in a barn will take a person far further in life. Perhaps their dad should have spent some time shoveling shit, then he'd be eating some humble pie right now.


Pitchin Princess said...

I think DQ is a great first job for a 16 year old. Good for Hayley for getting out there and looking for work. She's going to be needing gas money soon. Alyssa's first job (besides babysitting) was at Wendy's and as much as she didn't really like it she did like having her own money to do with what she wanted.

Crossing my fingers Hayley gets the job. And hoping you get a family discount if she does.

Jeff said...

My grandfather taught me to "put your pride in your back pocket."

Good advice!

MAMMA said...

David's first job was helping a man who delivered Coke. Back then Coke came only in bottles and he hauled cases of them around all summer in the North Carolina heat! My first job was at McDonalds, Sydneys was at Wendys and Justines was scorekeeping for Park and Rec. All good jobs and all respectable! Too many kids today think they are "owed" a job - and I work with plenty of them!!!

Sydney said...

I actually loved working at Wendy's. It was a great first job because while most of the employees were young, it was a good segue into the world of working. We could goof off some, but work came first. I'm definitely glad I had a job like that before I got a more "real" job. I think DQ is perfect for Hayley.