Thursday, March 11, 2010

Let Her Eat Cake

I have a serious problem with sugar addiction. I mean, it's like 12 step. Not to make a joke of 12 step programs, because I think they are a God-send, but my addiction to sugar is almost as bad as an alcoholic's addiction to alcohol. Now, I'm not one to eat a whole box of cookies in one sitting or pour a sugar packet in my mouth, but when I'm faced with a combination of sugar, fat, and flour the food wins every time! Most of the time it's just normal - I eat something sweet and I'm done with it. But certain foods put me over the top. For example, Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I love those things, but they are just pure junk. Which is why I almost never buy them. And also, when I do, I NEED to eat two packages to feel satisfied. Which triggers my conscience that says these things are bad for me so eating TWO packages is worse.

Yesterday I was in a serious funk. Not sure why - hormones maybe? - but I started the day out right, eating my yogurt, nuts and banana. I couldn't seem to kick a craving for sugar so I had two Toaster Strudels. And it went downhill from there. Me eating various sweet foods (even inventing reasons to go north to a certain bookstore so I could procure a giant maple bar - I didn't go, but I seriously thought about going out of my way for it!). So, I had a crappy eating day and I thought, no biggie, I'll be better tomorrow. Then Jeff came home with The Cake.

The Cake was a leftover from a Toastmaster's contest he'd attended. And let me tell you, it was nothing much to look at. In fact it looked rather industrial in an oversized roasting pan and spread with white frosting upon which sat.....colored sugar! I HATE colored sugar, in fact I hate sprinkles of all sorts, except the ones they call "jimmies" which are softish and not hard and horrible and crunchy like the other ones that ruin cupcakes and cookies, but make them look pretty. But I digress. Back to The Cake. The Cake, I'm pretty sure, is just a store bought, packaged white cake mix frosted with store bought white frosting. But I'm not TOTALLY sure it's not homemade and there's something really delicious about it. So, I had three pieces to see if I could find out what that special thing was. And then I had various bites and "just a sliver"s to see if I could figure out if it was homemade or not. I could not stop eating this cake! And truly, it was probably the worst thing ever........white cake, white frosting........carbs, carbs, carbs!

So, I asked Jeff if it was possible to make myself diabetic by eating cake all day. He said something about insulin pumps and such but the gist of it was yes. I could eat myself into a diabetic coma right there in my kitchen. What a horrible thought. I tried desperately to figure out if there was some miracle food I could eat to counteract that gluttoneous cake binge, but, alas, there seems to be nothing. I really cannot tell you why this particular cake was so appealing to me. If it WAS a store bought cake mix, it must have taken four or five mixes judging by the sheer size and thickness of this cake. Still, The Cake must go. I insisted Jeff take it to work with him tomorrow to save myself from the fat, calories, diabetes and an uncertain future with Cake in general........

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