Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Squeaky bra syndrome.....

I have this bra. Two of them, actually. I know they fit because I was fitted for them. And they fit well, holding in the girls and all their double-d glory, but the thing is..........they squeak! Now, I'm sure one of my bra cups would make a nice nest for a family of mice, but I've checked and there are no rodents in there. The underwire squeaks when I move and it's not only annoying but WEIRD! I mean, it's bad enough when it's totally quiet in a room and your digestive noises start going off, perhaps before lunch or after a big meal. Silence, then........grrroowwwllll! But people expect that. Everyone's stomach growls. Bra squeaks? Not so much.

I first noticed this a while ago and chalked it up to the underwire being "weird" or perhaps made of plastic instead of metal? I even googled "squeaky bra" online and would you believe there were several posts about it? So, this is not an isolated incident. The offending squeak comes from the side of the bra so every time my arms move, there's an irritating squeak that is loud enough for the person next to me to hear. I can't imagine how to resolve this. WD-40 would be messy.

It's a shame, really, because these two squeaky bras fit me best out of all the many bras I have. What is it with bras? You get fitted for them, buy them, bring them home, and after a while they just don't fit well anymore. I try to take care of them - I wash them and hang to dry. Right now three of my bras are hanging on the laundry room door, and I'm sure they're quite a sight. One might mistake them for a double baby hat for conjoined twins. The cups are certainly large enough to nestle a baby's head. They'd make a nice slingshot. For boulders. I guess I could pack them with my camping gear. They'd made a great canteen. I could put a half gallon in each of those puppies!

But, alas, bras are expensive and these actually fit. They lift and separate and have "comfort straps" that don't dig into my shoulders. They do the job, squeaks and all. So, I guess I'm going to have to deal with Victoria's Squeakret. Please don't poke me in the side of the boob to hear it. I'll gladly demonstrate. Squeak!

1 comment:

jeff said...

You funny:)