Today when I checked my blog, I found the following comment awaiting moderation. This was in response to my blog about cheap toilet paper, which you can read here to refresh your memory, if you like. The comment, copied and pasted in full was this:
maybe if your fat mommyblogging ass didn't spew out 80 children and you
all didn't gorge yourselves on processed meatfoods 24/7 you wouldn't
blow through your institutional-american-fatass-family-sized costco
supersize pack so fast.
After I laughed out loud, and re-read it several times, I laughed some more. I mean, for starters, it was signed "anonymous" but hey, maybe it's someone I know? Which makes it even funnier. I know it's supposed to be mean and condescending, but it's just so damn funny (and sounds like something I might say, albeit not on a blog comment - more like over coffee with my best friend when we're bashing someone), but the fact that: 1. Someone I don't know read my blog and felt compelled to comment on my post about toilet paper and 2. That they were so prolific in their use of adjectives to express their disgust with the rate at which my family uses toilet paper, is just hysterical.
And how did they know I have a fat mommyblogging ass anyway? Lucky guess? Sadly, though, I do not have 80 children, I have four, and none of them were "spewed" forth.I worked hard for those chillins. Also, for the record, we do not gorge ourselves on processed meatfoods (meatfoods? What are meatfoods? Is that what meat eats?) 24/7. My limited understanding of Anonymous' culinary vocabulary leads me to believe that processed meatfoods might be items like bologna, ham and turkey with the name "Oscar Mayer" on the label. But I'm just guessin'.
I wonder - DOES the consumption of bologna increase the output of bodily substances necessitating more toilet paper than usual? I would go with prunes or oat bran myself, but Anonymous may not be acquainted with such foods, considering they haven't even mastered capital letters.
Ah well, you can't feel the love all the time. Sometimes you get a little hate. But that doesn't mean you can't sit on your fat mommyblogging ass and write about it! Thanks, Anon. You made me laugh!