Uh-oh!

It's been two days and I haven't posted so I better because I might get in trouble with Monica! So, now I have to think up something to say.........hmmm............ok, so this weekend I am having two friends from high school over for a visit. I found them on Facebook. We graduated from Judge Memorial Catholic High School in 1985. I only went there my senior year! And barely knew these two, but after reconnecting on Facebook we've been writing back and forth for months. Jeff made a beer special for the occasion and called it "Bulldog Ale" (our mascot was Bulldogs). He tapped it last night. And then he said he didn't really like it that much! So, I'm thinking, great, I totally over-promoted my amazing husband and his fabulous beer and now they're going to be disappointed! Crap. Hopefully they like the beer. I haven't even tasted it. Then, I bragged about his cooking so now he has to cook for the crowd. At first, I was promising rib-eyes and prawns but then it turned into Italian. He made up this delicious pasta dish for our anniversary so he's going to make that again. And THEN, he invited a bunch of other people over, who I wasn't expecting. So, we're having a kegger. A middle-aged kegger. Nice. The worst part is I have to now clean my house from top to bottom and I only have a few hours tonight to do it, because tomorrow morning he's doing a triathlon and I have to go take pictures. Now, I would not have planned visitors on a tri weekend had I known but he wasn't supposed to be doing this one. It was a sort of last minute decision. He actually already did this one earlier when he did his double tri this summer. But this time he will just do the super sprint distance (shorter) and hopefully we'll be done and back home, showered and ready to receive visitors by 1 p.m. Yeah. And only my husband would drive to Vantage and back tonight to drop Arlie off (five hours on the road), wake up early to compete in a tri, and still go sightseeing and make dinner for five, plus have a bunch of buddies over to drink beer all in the same weekend. And then turn around on Sunday and drive those same five hours back to get Arlie! Better him than me I say.

And what is it about cleaning the house that I hate so much? Oh yeah, having to clean my kids' rooms because they are at their dad's. Having to touch their nasty bathroom that they never clean properly and leave bits of toilet paper and laundry and other disgusting detritus on the floor. Getting distracted while cleaning and saying to myself "hey, I should sort out this bookshelf". I really need a quick system for getting the house clean and presentable in under three hours. Think I can do that? I doubt it. I'm sure I'll be embarassed by something. And I can't start now because I have to leave in a few minutes to..........drumroll, please......get my annual exam at the dr.!! Oh joy! Nothing like getting naked under a paper gown in the middle of the afternoon and having the dr. look at your nether regions to cheer a girl right up. So yeah.....naked, come home, clean. Fun, fun evening. I don't know if I can stand all the excitement.

Well I guess I could at least throw in a load of laundry. And maybe peek at the challenge I'm facing in the kids' rooms and bathroom. Ugh. I need a maid.

Oh, and one other thing. I have developed this truly "spare tire" fat around my middle esp. when I put on my now-too-tight jeans (which are the biggest size I've ever worn and I refuse to buy a bigger size!). I put on my jeans today to, you know, do the whole stretch out thing so they will be more comfortable tomorrow? And so of course it takes "muffin top" to a whole new level. I tried to put on a loose shirt, but those can only perform so many miracles, and so this fat roll was pathetically disguised under my loose shirt. I went to work, and I have this new little boy I'm watching on Tues. and Fri. He gives me a hug and says "why does your tummy stick out like that?" Ok, I know, kids are brutally honest, so I just said "because my jeans are too tight" while his skinny as a stick mom apologized for his rudeness. So, all day I've been spilling out over the top of my jeans and feeling SO fat and now I have to go to the dr. who will undoubtedly TELL me I'm too fat and then reprimand me and give me a lecture about getting skinny. The dr. who runs marathons. Yeah. Why can't I have a fat doctor? So, now these people from HS are going to see me all fatness. I mean, yeah, lots of people get fatter as they get older but I think I've taken that little slippage to a whole new extreme. Time to hit the treadmill. Or tape the mouth shut. Or both.

Oh, and I have to do my roots tonight. Because being fat AND gray is just too much for me. How did this happen? This getting old and gray and fat part? Man, if I'd known what I know now, I would never have bitched so much about my thighs in high school..................