Feeding the Ducks

Today I took Myla to Country Village to feed the ducks. I should have known things would not go well when a large and colorful rooster sauntered up to my car door and waited for me to open it. I did this with some trepidation, as one time I was chased by a deranged chicken at a KOA campground (true story) and Jeff thought it was the funniest thing ever and instead of coming to my rescue, sat securely in the locked car while I screamed and kicked at the offending creature and tried to maneuver my way to the car. Anyway, this very large rooster today just waited.....kind of sinister-like and everything! So, I opened the door with a flourish (meaning, I tried to hit him with it) and he just moved ever so slowly, only to duck under my legs and practically take my place in the driver's seat! I unbuckled Myla, gave her the bag of bread to hold, and headed to the duck pond. We didn't even make it that far! We were surrounded by a gaggle of geese, a dozen ducks and raging roosters.........with a few heckling hens thrown in for good measure. The chickens actually pecked at my legs trying to get to the bread (which, by this time, I had mercifully taken from poor Myla who was not much bigger than the creatures). One particularly brazen goose, who was as tall as Myla, kept snatching bread out of her hand before she even got a chance to toss it. I was tossing entire dinner rolls fifteen feet away to try to disperse the angry crowd, but they kept converging! I wanted riot gear! I admit I had to use force, kicking a few of the particularly aggressive ones away before finally scooping up little Myla, tossing the bread in the car and jogging to the relative safety of the toy store. On the way, I shouted, "get away, you mean ducks!" and stomped at them. Apparently they were offended by my parting words because, when we returned to the car, the entire windshield and hood were covered in poop! And I'm talking big poops, little poops, and everything in between. I'm not sure how they pulled it off, but somehow they managed to get my car bombed by the poop squadron. And it was just MY car. Not any of the cars around me. Stupid ducks! Next time I'm heading to the office park where the ducks have more manners, there are no chickens and I can park my car far away.