How I Cured My Dog........

So, Shade hasn't been eating much lately. We thought perhaps he was sick, or just getting old. Off to the vet for an expensive evaluation. Blood work showed his liver enzymes were high (I swear that is the ONLY diagnosis our dogs have ever gotten from the vet - "the liver enzymes are high" - WTF?). So, we started him on a round of two antibiotics but he still wasn't much interested in eating.

I thought about it and figured, why WOULD he eat? He gets the same damn food every single day, dry kibble, one bowl and that's it. No wonder the dog is always looking for other food (and non-food) sources. If you were given one bowl of dry cereal at day and some water, would YOU be happy? Poor dog. No cookies. No Cheetos. No Starbucks coffee. It's enough to make him want to hang himself by his leash! I figured he needed some variety. So, he started getting some nice, hot leftovers after dinner. Maybe a few spinach leaves out of my salad. Ok, we even thawed and heated up all the mystery leftovers in the freezer to enhance his diet. But the dog food? Forget it!

Finally I decided that perhaps he needed some dog food enhancement. So, I purchased some meaty-looking Alpo canned dog food (in such enticing flavors as "lamb and beef in beef gravy" and cuts such as "homestyle slices" and "meaty chunks"). What's not to love? In fact, after looking at the label long enough, even I was getting hungry. And at $1 a can, I was thinking two or three cans of that stuff could feed my family! What? Times are hard!

Anyway, after tossing away the notion of feeding this morsel-y goodness to my children, I instructed my husband to mix one half of the can into Shade's dry dog kibble. Voila! Husband came back in to announce that Shade was, once again, a member of the "clean plate club". I was thrilled at this and it made me happy all day. Until the water incident.

I let Shade into the garage (ok, not really "let" him in, he barreled past me as I opened the door) and he eagerly lapped up some water. I went back inside, and closed the door, leaving him to hang in the garage for a while. A few minutes later he barked and I let him in. Not until much later (when my husband came home and discovered it) did I see "dog food lake" - a murky puddle of water and kibble in front of the utility sink. So, maybe this dog is just allergic to water. Or a clean floor. I don't know but he has done more barfing in the past few weeks than a fat kid at a pie eating contest!

So, maybe he's not cured. Or maybe he's just bulimic. But I'm not much liking this skinny, barfy mutt. I do feel sorry for him. For about five minutes until he eats a stick of butter off the counter.