Cheese, please!

I love cheese. That's why I got all excited when my husband read an article online saying cheese is good for you! YAY! I mean, we all know it's a dairy product and so it has SOME redeeming qualities, but all that cholesteral is bad for the arteries, right? Well, this article boldly states that you can consume cheese regularly and still reap health benefits! Oh. But. The amount? One ounce. Per day. Which  is basically the equivalent of a piece of cheese the size of your toenail. Sigh. Still, if you're going to eat cheese, you might as well make sure the cheese you eat is deliciously decadent. Which means, stay FAR away from that nasty, curdled, crumbled crap they call "cheese" - you know what I'm talking about - "blue cheese" (or "bleu cheese" if you want to get all French about it), gorgonzola, feta. That crap is NOT cheese. That is crumbly, rancid-tasting white stuff that smells like feet. Now, I don't know about you, but I do NOT want to have a dirty foot scent wafting from my salad. Which is why you should also leave cheese off salad, period. Cheese, that beautiful, creamy, delicious substance that should come in a brick form unless it's cream cheese or Laughing Cow in those little triangle-y packages, is a beautiful accompaniment to many foods. Hamburgers with melty cheddar - yum! Crackers and Dubliner cheese - what a treat! Cream cheese on a bagel - delightful! I love cheese with grapes, cheese with apples, cheese sticks with....something! But here's the cardinal rule. NEVER eat cheese alone. I mean, you can eat cheese when YOU are alone, but never eat cheese without an accompanying food. Because that's just gross. Cheese is not a stand-alone food. It begs to be paired with fruit or crackers or melted on top of something grilled. Unless it's the cheese that spills out of food and spreads out on a baking pan or in a skillet. Then it's "burned cheese" and it's the best thing in the world and MUST be eaten alone, without accompaniment. Preferably right out of the pan while no one is looking! Ah, cheese!