Exercising on vacation..........

Vacation is the perfect time to exercise! You have all this extra, unscheduled time just waiting to be filled by cardio, plus you're in a new location that is just begging to be explored.

Except, not.

I'm spending six (!) days in Boise with my family (and my youngest and only son) and I smartly packed a pair of Lucy yoga capris and a sports bra, plus three t-shirts. I figured I could get my cardio on at least three of the six days, and if (perchance) my sports bra or capris got too sweaty "glowy", I could give 'em a quick rinse in the sink and hang them to dry in the sun, awaiting my next sweat session.

Except, not.

Because, somehow, I've been way too busy eating Nutty Bars and napping to work in a little exercise. I mean, it's a lovely walking neighborhood, it really is. A morning stroll would be just the thing. But what if a rabid dog chased me? Or I got lost? Or there wasn't a coffee stand within walking distance? Turns out, there is, so all I really need is a walking companion.

Except, not.

My son, who would be my most logical walking buddy, has morphed into a true-blue teenager the past few weeks and spends an inordinate amount of time sleeping, followed by lying in bed looking at his iPad, followed by rising at the crack of noon and consuming massive quantities of food. This rigorous schedule does not allow much time for a brisk morning walk. No worries, though! We can always take that walk in the evening.

Except, not.

Because we're busy watching outdoor performances of Shakespeare, or going through McDonald's drive-thrus at late hours, purchasing mocha frappes and speaking in foreign accents. Or lying around, bloated and immobile after consuming copious amounts of baked beans and macaroni salad. Not a problem, though! We can always work a little excursion into our schedule that involves walking!

Except, not.

Unless you count running through Dollar Tree, Winco, Cash & Carry, Cost Plus and Tai Pan Trading company in record time before a party for which you are procuring items (and purchasing dark-chocolate Loaker wafers at Cost Plus and consuming the whole bag in two days). I mean, that's exercise.....sort of.

Except, not.

All is not lost, though! I think I broke a sweat twice setting up and taking down party items. So, there's that. Now, I just have to stop eating Fancy Cakes, Krispy Kreme donuts and homemade ice cream and eat nothing but fruits and veggies for the next two days to make up for my indiscretions and restore my health.

Except, not.

Starbucks run, anyone?