Patch that!

Today we took our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. Now, the "kids" are 18, 19, 21, 22 and 24 (yes, that includes the married couple). There was some debate about who's idea it was to venture out on the last sunny Sunday of October (according to the weather forecast) and mix with a crowd of hundreds to pick an overpriced pumpkin and take some festive pictures. My husband asked how long we had to take the "kids" to the pumpkin patch and how old did they have to be before we stopped? The kids said it was all my idea. I said I was the first one to suggest we skip the patch and buy pumpkins at the grocery store and just have a carving party. Either way, once again, our annual trip has come and gone (in short order this year because I'm sick and was done less than an hour in) and nothing has really changed.

First, it takes careful planning to make this happen. When your kids are adults, and work, and go to college, the time available when everyone can be in one place at one time is.........nonexistent. I know this because every year it takes a Herculean effort and some work schedule changes in order for us to meet at the patch for an hour (sometimes two - bonus!). Once we plan this outing, there is often the procurement of special equipment (that one year we spent over $100 getting everyone boots for the muddy patch literally minutes before we left). And since pictures are always a huge part of the day - let's be honest, it's the ONLY part I care about - everyone has to spend time transforming themselves from sloppy college student to Pinterest-worthy fall photography subject. This involves a cute outfit, makeup and maybe even a fall scarf. We traipse out to the patch, and get stuck in traffic. Just today my husband remarked how nice it was to drive all the way out to the country only to sit in traffic for 45 minutes. In fact, today's traffic jam was taking us to the WRONG pumpkin patch. The one we were supposed to meet at was the opposite direction by a good twenty minutes. So, we arrived an hour late.

I was asked to take pictures of a couple of other families while we were there. No worries, I love taking pictures. Except, as I mentioned before, I'm sick so my energy level was not up to par, and we arrived so late that one family was leaving as we arrived and the other took a while to find, at which time we snapped a few quick pictures and they returned the favor by snapping a few of our crew (hey, it's a rare event, we needed a picture to prove it happened). After pictures, we headed out to the pumpkin field to choose the perfect pumpkin.

But here's the thing about pumpkins - I like them, I think they're cute, and it's fun to pick a unique shaped one, but I HATE carving pumpkins. So, I just never carve mine. Which makes me wonder why I would want to spend $10 or more on a fun-shaped pumpkin I have no intention of carving. Instead, I have resorted to picking a mini pumpkin and maybe a couple of squash or gourds. The others spend a lot of time choosing their pumpkins (too much if you ask me, it was getting hot in the fields). We drop $40 or $100 and haul our pumpkins back home.

Today's agenda involved coming home to chili in the crock pot, biscuits, corn bread and homemade dessert. After we warmed up with this quintessential fall dinner, we would carve our pumpkins and have it all done in one day. Except, when we got home, we started watching movies and no one carved their pumpkins! This happens every year. One year we didn't carve them before Halloween arrived so we just left them as Thanksgiving decor, and when Christmas arrived, we just spray painted them white, put hats and scarves on them, and called them "snowmen". Now why do we spend money on pumpkins that we never carve? I have no idea.

Also, the lines were long, the crowds were thick, and since the kids aren't little anymore, there's no allure in hayrides, games, rubber duck races and mini-golf (and thank God, too, because those things cost even more money!). We were at the patch a whole hour before we all decided to leave - it took us longer just to get there! I was exhausted and thinking only of being out of my "cute" clothes and back in my pajamas, and I heard a few complaints of being hungry and thirsty (again, another way to blow your paycheck at the pumpkin patch - kettle corn! Hot dogs! Apple cider!). No one seemed sad that we were headed home.

So, my husband and I came up with an idea - next year we'll just create our own pumpkin patch. We'll decorate the back porch with a few hay bales, maybe even make one of those funny scarecrow boards you stick your head in for photos, serve mini donuts and apple cider, and buy a handful of pumpkins at the grocery store to scatter in the park in our backyard. We'll invite the adult children over to "pick" a pumpkin, have tables and carving tools set up for making jack-o-lanterns, and do the whole shebang in a few hours right in our backyard. No traffic, no crowds, and we won't sell out of roasted corn like the patch we visited today. Plus, we can enjoy adult beverages with the kids!

This should work for a few years until the grandkids come along. And then we'll be right back at the patch because it's really only fun with little kids. And tradition means something different to everyone and changes with the seasons. I still love taking fall photos of my family, but, truth be told, some of the best fall colors around here happen in the office park where my husband works, which is five minutes away. Next year we'll schedule an office-park photo shoot right before our backyard pumpkin patch and our fall celebration will be complete without ever leaving town.

Happy Fall, y'all!