Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve. That time of year when we shed all the bad of the past year and look forward to the good to come in the following year. We make resolutions and keep them for about five seconds. We make plans to be reborn into some amazing, fabulous, formerly skinny person we once knew and loved. But you know what? The new year is just that - a new year. It's the same you! And while it's nice to have a milestone with which to measure your progress or success on a past promise you made to yourself, nothing magical is going to happen this year just because you made a statement on Jan. 1.

For one thing, most people spend the last day of the year staying up until the wee hours drinking too much. Maybe you'll start there. Maybe this year you won't even stay up until midnight, and who cares? What, you're going to miss the ball dropping in Times Square or the fireworks in your city? YouTube it later. Maybe this is your chance to get some sleep. Or perhaps you'll choose not to drink to excess or drink at all. So what? Wine, beer, sparkling cider.......you can be just as "festive" with a Pepsi.  Maybe tomorrow you'll resolve to get on the treadmill or cut out carbs, or give up your morning latte. Good for you! It's always great to strive toward being healthier, but you can do that any and every day of the year. If you're spending the evening with friends and family, kudos to you. Nothing is more important in life than our relationships with those we love and care about. Oh, and please don't drink and drive! Please!

Instead of a neatly compiled list of things you think you'll do this year (and probably won't), instead of setting yourself up for failure and feeling horrible on Dec. 31 next year because you didn't lose 50 lbs or stop smoking or start a new business or get better grades, maybe you could resolve to not resolve. I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions, because I think you can make changes any old time you want to. And they don't always have to be big goals. Sure, training for a marathon might be someone's cup of tea (me, I'd rather have the cup of tea), but a "new you" in the new year can start with the smallest of intentions and actions.

- once a day, at least, say out loud to someone that you love them
- if you see something that needs to be picked up, cleaned up or put away, just do it
- make your bed. It looks nice and makes the rest of your life seem more organized than it really is.
- use the pretty soap and scented candles. Don't "save them" for something special. Today is special.
- get some exercise. If you hate exercise, just go for a walk. Even ten minutes outside can make you feel a million times better.
- have dessert sometimes
- take a nap whenever you can and don't feel the least bit guilty about it
- if you can afford it, give generously. If you can't, give your time.
- spend some time with a kid and don't rush through it. Really enjoy it without thinking of all the things you need to get done.
- take the time to make your food pretty and eat it off a nice plate. Why rush through eating? Eating is awesome!
- make time to see friends, new and old. Even just an hour over coffee to catch up is a connection.
- entertain at your home. Who cares if it's old or if the carpets need cleaned or your lawn is weedy? Inviting people over makes them feel great. Your friends want to see YOU, not your house.
- pay your bills on time
- don't overspend. Paying off for months what was fun for a few hours, days or week, is never worth it.
- do what you love. Take time to make or do the things you enjoy.
- every day, when you wake up, look at your bedroom ceiling and be grateful for how lucky you are that you have a bed, a home, food, water, friends, a job, school, children, whatever it is you have that feeds your soul.
- if you're hurting, reach out. Ask for help. We're all flawed. Not everyone will judge you. Most people will be happy to share their shortcomings and help you work through yours.
- know that you're amazing. Bask in it. There's only one you and how lucky for everyone who gets to know you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

New Year's Resolutions

I don't make New Year's resolutions. Oh, sure, we all like to "start over" in the new year, take out a crisp new notebook and write down a bunch of things we're never going to do, but I've stopped fooling myself. Chances are I am not going to lose 50 lbs in the span of a year, take conversational French, learn to make spun sugar, or redecorate my house. I'm not even sure I know how to feel about goals........I mean, do they inspire and motivate or encourage failure? Instead of making resolutions that are impossible to keep or completely fantastical, how about making some you can really stick with? For example:
1. Resolve to have coffee with a friend once a week.
2. Resolve to spend a few minutes reading a favorite novel before bed each night.
3. Resolve to indulge in good food and good friends and good drink whenever the occasion calls for it - life is short!
4. Resolve to live within your means.
5. Resolve to be happy with what you've got and be happy to share with others.
Ok, so those are pretty inspirational and do-able right? But the "lose weight" one? You're only going to disappoint yourself the next time you pop a piece of chocolate into your mouth. Why not resolve to "be healthier"? That can take many forms (and takes a lot of the pressure off - hee, hee).

I just don't see the point of making promises to oneself that may or may not be kept. Talk about starting the year with high expectations and major disappointment. One year, I decided to simplify things and only resolved not to bite my nails (I was a terrible nail biter!). I made it till about January 5th and bit off all my nails one day in class while writing a piece on New Year's resolutions. Failure! Now I know that I can NOT bite my nails, but that on occasion, during times of stress, I WILL bite all my nails off and so what? I'll just start growing them again. No big deal.

I would resolve to keep my house cleaner but that would require participation on the part of five other people. And who wants that upkeep? I would resolve to work out every day but that would require absolutely no interruptions to my routine and my life revolves around interruptions. I would resolve to find the perfect job but I'm logical enough to know it probably doesn't exist (still, I keep looking!).

I think the best thing is to resolve to make no resolutions. Just embrace the New Year for what it is........which, really, is just another month at the start of a new decade in this case. So it's 2010! Remember when we all thought the world was going to implode at the stroke of midnight in the year 2000? Time marches on........we move on...........life goes on............and I resolve to just be grateful I'm still here on this earth able to make a choice to NOT make any resolutions! Who's with me?

Resolution!

Look, it's me as a sumo wrestler! Don't I look lovely? How many chins can you see? Have you guessed my resolution yet? Yes, that's right. To have only one (or two) chins by the end of 2009! And perhaps to lose the topknot!