St. Patrick's day.............

St. Patrick's day in the past:

Everything green! Green milk! Green eggs! Green cupcakes, green frosted shamrock cookies, green decorations all over the house! Coordinated green outfits. Big parties, homebrew, Scotch eggs, corned beef and cabbage, colcannon. Leprechaun traps! Gifts of gold (chocolate) from the leprechauns! 

St. Patrick's day today:

I finally dug into the bin of decorations (yesterday) that had been sitting in the hallway for two weeks. I pulled out four sad-looking metallic green streamer decorations and pinned them up above the table. Had to leave to meet my husband for dinner and that was the extent of my decorating because I never got back to it when we got home last night. Today, I just shoved everything back into the bin and accepted the fact that I totally failed at decorating this year. We had corned beef and cabbage for dinner. I tried to add potatoes but the ones in the bag were sprouted and wrinkly. Nope. The kids ran to McDonald's and got Shamrock shakes for dessert and they were gross. I did wear a green shirt, green jewelry that I made, a trio of cheap metal green bracelets and attached a glittery shamrock pin to my hair. 

Once upon a time, I decorated for EVERY holiday. My house looked like a Hallmark store display. But now even decorating for Christmas seems like such a chore and I'm often scattering things about at the last minute. When my kids were little, I always had a special meal or treat, bought them themed outfits appropriate for the holiday, planned special events, did crafts. 

Now everyone has their own car, and their own life, and I don't see them much. I guess without as many "kid" duties, I let things like decorating for holidays slide and I don't have the time or the energy to make a big deal out of every reason to celebrate. 

I wonder if they miss it? I know I do, and I often feel guilty (like today) for not making things special, because making things special is kind of my THING. But other times I feel like I knock myself out for nothing. And, truth be told, even the best-laid plans often get derailed by our "busy-ness". 

With so many holidays and six birthdays to celebrate every year, we have decorations up more often than not, it seems. Sometimes it's months before we take a Happy Birthday banner down. Or remove the balloons and streamers. But it's just so festive and fun! And taking it down is like........well, you know that feeling when the last Christmas decoration is packed away and you have that "Hells to the YES, that freaking job is done - clean slate - time to start the new year!" feeling but you also have that "Aww, I'm going to miss all the lights and warmth and festivity" feeling? It's like that. 

Part of me is thrilled and relieved to be at this stage of my life. No more tooth fairy duties - sneaking into the kids' room after they've gone to sleep (and I've waited up way too long, wanting to go to sleep myself) and trying to find a tiny tooth under a pillow in the dark. No more leprechaun traps (who invented that bullshit anyway?), or trying to pull of some leprechaun shenanigans that are somewhat believable to convince a skeptical grade-schooler that the little green guys are real. 

But I miss it, too! I miss having a reason to hang up paper hearts all over the house and make pumpkin pictures, and create a whole meal out of candy that looks surprisingly like meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peas and carrots but is really cocoa krispy treats, ice cream with caramel sauce and candies individually rolled and shaped to look like peas. April Fools!

When the kids were little, other moms would lament the mess of painting, Play-Doh and, popsicles. I relished it. I loved nothing more than dragging out the easel and paints and dressing my toddler in a beret for effect. My day was made when we created a giant slip and slide out of an old tarp, and, upon finding it not slippery enough, lathered each kid with a bar of Irish Spring soap. It smelled heavenly (and yes, we justified is as a bath, don't judge!). 

And I know the kids don't have to be little to decorate or do things up special. But there's something so sweet about the expectancy of a little face lighting up with excitement when they see their home transformed. Yeah, it's messy and inconvenient and requires a lot of storage bins, much to my husband's chagrin, but it's just so FUN!

So, why didn't I do it this year? Was I too busy? Unmotivated? Maybe a little of both. And maybe I only disappoint myself. Maybe no one else even cares. But I do. 

Guess I'll try harder next holiday. Except it's Easter and I have the fewest decorations for that holiday. In fact, I think last Easter I "forgot" to decorate until the last minute when I scattered some baskets and bunnies around. Better get on it. 

Plus, I forgot to wear my shamrock socks today and it totally threw off my day. Because, damn it, I have to wait a whole year to wear them again. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

May your neighbors respect you

troubles neglect you

angels protect you

and Heaven accept you

~ Irish Blessing

Endings........

I haven't blogged in a while. Sometimes "life" just gets in the way and I don't have time. But Sundays seem to be good times to blog and this week, here's what's on my mind.

Last week, on Thursday, St. Patrick's day, there was a fatal accident just down the road from my house. This happened on a road we travel every single day, at a time when it would have been entirely possible for one of us to be on the road. In fact, I drove Hannah to school that day for a test along that road. Jeff rode his bike to work, but, thankfully, takes a different route. Arlie, unfortunately, was on the bus, which passed right by the accident and so she saw more than she should have had to.

Here's what happened - a 31-year-old man, drunk and possibly under the influence of drugs, was driving erratically down the highway at a very high rate of speed, when he crossed the center line and crashed into a car driven by a 62-year-old man who died at the scene. The accident scene was horrible (I only saw it in pictures, I can't imagine how awful it was for Arlie to see it in person!), with one car flipped over and the other horribly smashed in, missing one entire tire/wheel, and with debris strewn all over the highway.

This guy, a local resident, made the decision to drive without a license, under the influence, and he killed someone. An innocent person who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I cannot understand this and it happens all the time. First of all, who is drunk and under the influence of drugs at 7 a.m.? Someone with a very serious problem - clearly, this guy was an addict and had already been involved in prior drug convictions and had his license taken away. Yet, he still drove and he killed someone. How does one go on after such an incident? How do you keep living when you kill someone by your own hand and your own choices? How is it any different than pulling the trigger or plunging a knife into a person? "Vehicular manslaughter" is what they call it. Manslaughter, not murder. How is it any different? Is it different because this guy "didn't set out to hurt anyone?" I don't think so. He made choices. He's an addict, sure, but he made the choice to take the first drink or smoke the first joint or take the first drug. He made the choice to drive without a license. And by his own hand and his own choices, he killed a man. And he gets to live. It's not right.

Later that night, we went to Dairy Queen. The accident happened right in front of DQ. The ground shimmered like frost but we all knew it was broken glass - shattered with an impact so extreme the glass settled in a sparkly powder along the road. Just hours before, a man died there. And life went on. Cars sped by, we ate ice cream. It seemed so sad. That guy didn't wake up saying "I'm going to be killed in a horrible car accident today." But he was. And it could have been any one of us senselessly killed by a stupid, selfish person. It just wasn't right. There was no indication, save for the glass, of an accident. No sign saying "a man died here today". Nothing.

I drove by today and there were flowers. Just a few bouquets, leaning against a pole. A small reminder of a big problem. Please don't drink and drive, do drugs and drive, drive drowsy, drive buzzed, drive and text or drive distracted. Because it only takes a second and lives change forever.

St. Patrick's Day Bitch and Moan Festival

Yesterday we participated in the 25th annual St. Paddy's Day Dash in downtown Seattle. Or should I say St. Paddy's Day Splash. Or, as the title suggests, The Bitch and Moan Festival. This was to be a culminating project of sorts - we had been working on ten weeks of "living healthier" and making changes to our diet and exercise (with limited success, I might add), and this 5K was to be the "celebration" at the end. Well, daybreak brought 33 degrees and snow. We rolled out of bed at 7:30 a.m. and dressed in long underwear and layers. Begrudgingly we headed downtown to falling snow with flakes as big as the palm of your hand! We were running late so Jeff dropped us off and we were on the opposite side of the Seattle Center from the start line. So, huffing and puffing before we even started the race, we found the starting line just as the starter gun went off for the "yellow wave". Thinking we were the purple wave, and therefore the last wave, we didn't rush to get in line. Oops. The yellow wave WAS the last wave so we quickly realized our error and skipped across the barrier to get in line. At this point, Jeff was parking the car and planned to meet us along the route. Several minutes went by while I waited for his call. After 20 minutes or so, I finally called him. He was ahead of us by a few blocks, having started at the wrong spot. We met up and that's when the hell began. After walking several blocks, we began to hear Harrison complaining about........well........EVERYTHING! Let's see, here are some of the more notable complaints: My legs hurt. My ankle hurts. This must be more than a 5K. Where is the turnaround? You said it was just around the bend. I can't do this. I think I'm having a heart attack. My legs are so tired. I can't do this. Why can't we jump over the barrier? I'm tired. Stop walking so fast! I can't do this!!! Of course, he COULD do it, and he did, but the 1.5 hours of constant complaining, coupled with freezing rain, wet feet and the fact that we were dead last made the whole experience about as pleasant as putting bamboo shards under one's fingernails. I believe I said things along the lines of: NEVER AGAIN! Hannah and Arlie walked so slow that the "sweeper" police car was on their tails the last half of the race, and when we crossed the finish line, the crews immediately started taking it down! We stepped across the finish line and headed to McDonald's where we indulged in Egg McMuffins and hot cocoa while we sat dripping and soggy and freezing. And that, my friends, is spring in Seattle. Hannah and Arlie came up with a slogan to help us decide whether or not to leave the house next time we decide to do something like this (oh, but I did say NEVER AGAIN, right?). They said "Rain and snow? Don't go! Sunshine? It's fine!" Don't let the photos fool you. It was pure misery, despite the fake smiles. Did I mention NEVER AGAIN???