Frogs with concussions..........

Today was hectic and busy and crazy, but things got really interesting once the kids came home. It's like a whole new world when the kids walk through the door. Here's how it went:

The oldest two came home around 2:15. Made their presence known and informed me they were going swimming at a friend's apartment. I reminded them about our company coming and the fact that our house, which was sparkling clean two days ago, was now a pigsty. They nodded and put on their swimsuits. I noted that the other two kids did not even say hi when they got home, but set right to doing whatever it is they do after school and before I yell at them to do chores.

 Harrison came in to show me the two-foot long, nicely matted picture of his sixth grade class that he received today at school. We discussed the picture and the people in it for a while. He took offense at my descriptions such as "funny looking kid" and "unfortunate looking". Then he conned me into playing a Wii game with him. We tried slalom skiing (I suck at it), ski jump (suck more), some obstacle course thing where I kept getting hit in the head with a cannon ball type thing, and finally Just Dance. The girls came home while we were gyrating to some funky Caribbean-inspired music. I was shaking my groove thing or so I thought until Hannah said, "Mom, you can't do that at ALL". So much for gettin' my groove on. Besides, two songs into it, and I was sweating like a pig.

Before we started the Wii game, Arlie came downstairs and said she was "scarred for life". Harrison said "did you see your dad naked?". Jeff wasn't even home! No, it turns out her frog was dead. Dead? I asked how she knew. "Well, he swam into the glass and then slowly slid down the tank and now he's on the bottom and he's dead". I didn't know frogs committed suicide but this was an interesting turn of events. I was fully involved in playing a game that involved me dressed in a chicken suit flapping my wings to land on certain targets, so I asked Harrison to go check and see if her frog was, indeed, dead. Nope. He was doing quite swimmingly. Arlie concluded he had given himself a concussion. Frog concussions. Hm.

Dinner was loud and chaotic and involved a lot of kids trying to talk over one another to tell stories. I had a Tylenol appetizer, so it was all good .

Then came the cleaning part. I especially enjoyed how often Hayley asked me "are you serious?" to the point where I finally said "let's just assume, for the sake of argument, that EVERYTHING I say to you, I'm 'serious' ok?". I asked her to dust the shelves with my 100 or so bells on them. She asked "even the top ones that no one sees?" Um, yeah. She finished in record time so I double checked..."you dusted ALL the shelves?" She replied "well not the ones on top that no one sees". Can someone bring mommy a cocktail now?

Later I asked her to mop the hardwood floors. After the requisite "are you serious?" I explained that I had purchased a product just for this purpose. "How do I put it on?" she asked. "With a mop!" I replied. She produced a mop and I explained how to use it. She said, with all the desperation of a damsel in distress "but I only know how to use a Swiffer!" And she's going to college.

My favorite part of the night, though, was at dinner when we discussed the very warped lives of Disney princesses. "Snow White? She lived with seven men! Slut!", "Belle basically sold herself to the Beast", "Sleeping Beauty? Some guy kissed her while she slept! Date rape!" and "The Little Mermaid? She only wanted legs so she could spread 'em!" These are my children. Kinda brings a little tear, huh?

Oh. And I posted a new list of house rules. They include "no shanking", "no swashbuckling" and "leave all firearms at the door". I'm tired. So tired.

We got a Wii!

Finally, we joined the ranks of........well.......EVERYONE it seems, and purchased a Wii gaming system. Now, I have NEVER played video games and can't even really work the controllers, so having an X-box the last several years was nothing to me. I had exactly ONE thing I did on it and that was a fitness program, which only required a few button pushes before running and then I could set the controller down and just watch the screen. But it seems everyone is Wii crazy and we tried it at a friend's house and loved it. The thing I like most is that everything requires standing up and moving, so much better than traditional video games or just watching TV. And it's FUN! And, best of all, I can actually DO IT. Yes, I can control these games (ok, my kids would beg to differ as it took me a while to make a Mii last night because I couldn't control the remote), and it's fun to play. I played golf last night (and I've never played golf in my life - not on TV or in real life) and it was fun, although I did "triple bogey" the first hole, which, even though I know nothing about golf, sounds pretty bad to me! But I beat Hannah at bowling (with many strikes - which in real life would be a miracle for me!). I'm excited to try some of the other games (oh, I did suck at tennis, which would also translate into real life). What I was really looking forward to was the Wii Fit, which is an exercise program. Everyone I know who has it loves it, so I wanted that addition, but alas, they were sold out at the two stores we tried. So, we will have to keep looking for that one. Bottom line is that we're hoping this gaming system will get the kids off their butts and doing something a little more calorie-burning than watching TV or sitting at the computer. We considered it an addition to our "home gym" which we are slowly building (a treadmill is next). And a little bonus prize for Jeff getting a job so quickly (thank you, tax return). I'm sure Wii are going to have a lot of fun with it!

Wii Had Fun on New Year's Eve!

Me celebrating my strike!!

For New Year's eve, we had dinner here (Chinese) with our good friends Jason, Amy and Abbie and Carla and Mike (all neighbors). After dinner we went to Amy and Jason's house to play their new Wii. I had never played before (nor had Carla) while Jeff had played only once before and my kids have played at their dad's house. It was SO much fun! First we did bowling, then tennis and then some shooting game (where I beat Jeff! HA! I KNEW I could beat him at shooting!). I actually got a couple of strikes in bowling, which made me feel pretty good considering that in REAL life I once bowled a 32. Yes, that was my score for the entire game! (In case you were wondering if I became suddenly ill and had to leave the game early, no, that was the score for TEN frames). I loved playing the Wii because I have never been any good at video games, but this was one I could actually play (and not die in two seconds). Oh, and then we played boxing and that was hysterical! Jeff laughed so hard at me boxing and Carla loved it so much she almost boxed the TV! By the time the boxing round was over, I was sweating and my heart rate was definitely elevated. Now I want a Wii of my own!