Acorn Squash

You all know by now that my husband is Cheapy McCheapypants. But he really took it too far this past week. While preparing for Thanksgiving, I noticed an acorn squash on the counter. I know I did not purchase an acorn squash in my grocery shopping excursion, and I thought it seemed a strange purchase for Jeff to make on his own, so I eyed it suspiciously, but didn't think much of it as I went about my chores.

At some point, Jeff announced how he "scored" this acorn squash from the PARKING LOT AT SEARS!!! Oh yes, he had been at Sears to procure a tool for his truck when he noticed this acorn squash in the parking lot. Now, I don't know about you, but I would be immediately suspicious of a piece of produce in the parking lot of a department store. Where did it come from? Why was it here? But not Jeff. He just thought......FREE FOOD!

So, he actually brought this discarded produce home with the intention of serving it to his unsuspecting family. He argued that it was fairly impervious, in fairly good shape, and so what harm could come from it? I immediately conjured up images of some sick freak injecting it with poison only so some half-wit like my husband would come along and decide to feed it to his family. Jeff could simply not understand why I insisted on throwing it away. I explained (calmly at first, then growing louder with insistence) that it was on the GROUND, in a parking lot far, far away from any grocery store, and it was GARBAGE!!! Then, I told him "we don't pick up things off the ground and eat them" (perhaps he missed that step when he was four?) and tossed that acorn squash in the garbage!

But I'll bet you ten bucks he fished it out and will try to feed it to us..........I'm not eating anything with acorn squash in it, EVER. I am seriously worried about this man. I believe he needs supervision on future shopping trips. Maybe he even chews the gum stuck to the bottom of tables? Who knows.............