When is the end?

As anyone who has read my blog for any length of time knows, we have an old dog, Shade. Shade is 16 years old and, recently, he has lost bladder control, such that he wakes up with his bedding soaked in his kennel every morning, he has daily accidents on the floor (several times a day, with no warning), and he can no longer sleep in our room with us, because, in the morning, he can't make it down the stairs and out the door without having an accident.

Besides being a little creaky, slow to get up and lay down and having a multitude of benign lipomas (small, fatty tumors), plus failing in vision in hearing, he seems ok. He's always been an annoying dog - he whines and makes noises constantly, much to the chagrin of anyone trying to watch a TV show or have a conversation. People always ask us "what's wrong with your dog?" and the short answer is "nothing." No vet has ever diagnosed him with anything other than "normal" old age stuff, and no answer has ever been given for his incessant whining. Strangers think he is in pain, but the vet says he's not. Who really knows?

Because of his accidents, he has to spend nearly all of his time in the kennel in the garage. We do let him out when the adults are home (because we watch him better!) but despite our vigilance he almost always has an accident, throws up on the floor (for no diagnosed reason - again, he just throws up ALL the time), or eats something off the counter.

He's a tricky dog, too. He knows when food has been left out and he will wait until everyone is gone and then sneak quietly across the floor and snatch it off the counter or table. He has eaten more "dangerous" things that you could ever imagine and has never suffered ill effects (included, but not limited to, 2 lbs of chocolate, wires, wood siding, staples, rubber bands, and a whole tube of toothpaste). The dog is indestructible!

He can still manage a two mile walk, but is exhausted afterwards. He likes being outside, but almost always gets into mischief when he's out there. He barks at strangers, and, lately, has been more aggressive and "snappy", even at the kids (and us, if we make him move or do something he does not want).

He spends most of his time sleeping, and we often come home and poke him because it appears he's dead, but he's just sleeping so deeply and has lost some of his hearing so that he doesn't startle and jump up like he used to.

The point is - he does not appear to be suffering (save for laying in his own urine-soaked bedding all night, which is definitely gross - he gets wiped off with wipes in the morning and bathed regularly). The cleaning up part of his problem is extremely time-consuming for us (we have gone through more paper towels and mopping supplies than EVER before) and we spend every day cleaning his bedding so he will have clean blankets for the day/night.

Everyone is fed up with him, and when he has an accident, there's a lot of anger and resentment and a lot of "let's get rid of him" and "he needs to be put down." But once it's all over, we question it - is is REALLY time to put him down?

Last Christmas we put down a dog. He was sick and definitely suffering. Charlie had grown so thin and could barely stand. He had diabetes and several other health problems. He went downhill fast. And when the time came - we just knew. It was NOT easy to do, but the decision was not hard to make. He was suffering and it was time.

With Shade, he still has some spunk. He wanders around, but it's not like a happy-go-lucky dog - he's more of an anxious pacer, always looking for something to get into, and rarely settles down. He sometimes climbs up on the couch (which he can still manage - not so much beds anymore - or the car - but he can still get on the couch that sits pretty low) and he will quiet down and sleep. And everyone will say "Aw, look how cute he is!" But that can change in an instant when he pees all over the floor, or someone's foot, or a backpack sitting on the floor, or blankets or pillows that have been left lying around. Then, it's a big job. It's just a lot of work and no one wants to do it.

Shade came with the marriage. So, those of us who were not part of choosing the dog, or having any say in whether to keep the dog are more inclined to take the "he's not my dog" stance. He's been so much trouble from day one, it's hard for me to imagine keeping a dog like him in a busy family with kids because he takes up SO much time, mostly with destroying things or having accidents.

Personally I don't love the dog. I know my life will be SO MUCH more peaceful when he's gone. He's never been one of those dogs who brings joy into my life, he's really just all work and very little enjoyment. I won't miss the smell of dog pee, the accidents, the barf, the excessive dog hair OR his horrendous smell. BUT. I have a hard time knowing if all of the above is justification enough to put him down. And I won't make the decision. I will support whatever my husband wants to do, because ultimately it is HIS dog. Any joy or happiness the dog has brought into the world has been for Jeff alone (hunting with him), but Jeff could tell "bad dog, Shade" stories about this dog for days. It's really unbelievable how many horrible stories we have on this dog. He's just a naughty, naughty dog. And yes, I believe he could have been a different dog with obedience training, but that's neither here nor there at this point. And I didn't have any say when he was a puppy because I wasn't there. I just know that I've always felt the dog was just work. His rapport with people improved so much after he came into our house - before that he growled like Cujo at everyone and everything and I was honestly terrified of the dog. He also used to snap at the kids when they were younger, and I thought he might bite them. But with a lot of time and work, he started to be more "socially acceptable" and was more tolerable to live with.

Still. He is so exasperating. He's costing so much time and money. He's a lot of work and no one is really invested in him enough to do the work. A lot of the burden falls to Jeff (cleaning the bedding, for example, because we clean it in the utility sink in the garage because we don't want to put all that grossness in our family washing machine!). When Jeff is not home, he is even worse - he gets into more trouble and is more difficult. When Jeff has to travel out of town, we've actually kenneled him at the vet because we simply do not have time to deal with him (i.e. having to clean up accidents in the morning and being late to work). But that is so expensive! When we don't kennel him, he requires constant vigilance and his whining, difficulty and accidents cause a lot of distress among the family. Many fights have started over Shade!

So, what would you do? We keep thinking since he's so old and obviously going downhill (although not rapidly) that his "time will come" soon enough. But we've been thinking that for YEARS and this dog seems to hang on, no matter what. He's been checked out medically. There's really nothing we can do about the accidents at this point - it's just old age. And he's a big dog so it's no small feat to clean up after him.

It's a tough one...........

(P.S. I am aware that this post might unleash a firestorm of controversy, as I have many, many friends who are avid pet lovers. We, too, love our pets, but draw the line at treating them equal to our children. They are dogs, not people. However, we are kind and loving animal owners who would never mistreat our pets. Still, we've often had some pretty angry backlash when we post on Facebook about "bad dog Shade." We have taken good care of this dog. Obviously we would prefer nature take it's course. But it's getting pretty bad...)

Bad dog, Shade, part ???............

It's been a while since I posted about our Bad Dog Shade. He's fourteen years old and he really needs to die already. I know, those of you who love your pets as if they were a child (and that would be those of you who don't have children, because I'm here to tell you, there is NO comparison! Dogs are not people!!!!), will think I'm a terrible pet owner. Disclaimer: He's not my pet. He came with the marriage and I would never have kept a pet like this pet. If you can even call him a pet. See, for me, a pet conjures up images of a loyal companion who loves you unconditionally and follows you around with undying devotion. Shade is not a pet. He's an animal who spends most of his time finding ways to irritate humans. He barks, he steals food, he eats wrappers, he drinks from the toilet, he pees on the floor, he drops little round turds from his ass end at random moments. This dog is a nightmare.

Recently, my husband built a nice fence around the dog potty area so they would stop littering our deck with poop. We had not been able to enjoy sitting outside on our own deck because it was covered in poop (with three dogs it's a poop minefield in about three hours). So, Jeff cleaned everything up, did some pretty landscaping, re-stained the deck, and put out some lounge chairs. Meanwhile, the dogs had their own space to do their business.

But. Shade apparently thinks this is his domain. When he's out there, he barks at the other dogs for drinking water, for sitting where he doesn't want them to, for everything. The dogs just BARKS. Non-stop. And for no apparent reason. It's an annoying, consistent bark and he never shuts up. No amount of yelling or discipline  will make him stop. What does make him stop is spraying him with the hose. But only as long as he's being sprayed. Once you stop, he goes right back to barking. Eventually I have to bring him in the house because I feel bad for annoying the neighbors.

Once inside, though, he is so bad, he can't be left alone for even a second. So, into the kennel he goes. Basically he's now spending his days either in the dog run or the kennel and spending very little time in the house because of all the damage he's done. What kind of existence is that for a dog? We tried increasing his walks, but he poops as he walks, making that a very messy and time-consuming job, and not very pleasant for the dog OR the walker.

What to do? Everyone talks about "quality of life" for dogs and the "right" time to "put them down". When is that, exactly? Shade, in my opinion, adds NOTHING to our lives but aggravation. I mean, I'm kind to him, I take care of him, I TRY to make his life pleasant and give him attention. But he just seems miserable. He's been to countless vet appointments where he's pronounced healthy. So, why does he bark, whine and generally seem miserable every minute of the day? I feel badly for wishing the dog would just go to that big doggy house in the sky, but he's just 75 lbs of misery. Why can't he just be HAPPY? He's a dog, for cryin' out loud.

Thoughts on Thursday

I AM SICK OF THIS RAIN!!!! It's ridiculous. Yesterday it snowed all day. Just that "substantial rain" type of snow, that's white and thicker than rain and sticks but melts faster than it can accumulate. It blows sideways. The day before that, when we were enjoying some more sideways rain, the wind blew so hard for about an hour that when I arrived home, my entire deck and side of house was covered with fallen branches and the kids made a fort out of the 20-30 foot long branches they found on the playground (geesh, if they had been out there? Who knew our playground was deadly!) I can't even imagine what my roof looks like and this morning Harrison said our gutters were overflowing. It's April now. March was supposed to go out like a lamb. Well, it didn't.

In other news, this morning when I was rinsing dishes to stack in the left side of the sink (WHEN will they learn - rinse and move to the left, rinse and move to the left), I found a pencil floating among the apple peels and plates with hardened cheese on them. A pencil? What the hell? And it just reminded me of how lazy we can all be. Case in point - this morning when I arrived downstairs at an ungodly hour to prepare lunches for four children who will probably only eat half of what I packed (but I digress), the hallway rug was askew. Did I kick it back in place? I did not. And neither did the five other people who walked over it this morning. I finally scooted it back in place (and I didn't even have to bend over!) and I thought, how hard was that, really? I have walked past a candy wrapper on the ground for days, wondering when someone would pick it up (but, aha! That someone was ME!) Jeff enjoys taking the little stickers off fruit and putting them anywhere but IN the garbage - on the counter top, the edge of the sink, he once even collected them in a notebook (I know, therapy moment there) Last week the dog chewed up some unmentionable items in the garbage in my bathroom and the bits and pieces are still there. Every day when I get out of the shower, I think "I should really vacuum that up" and yet, there it sits, day after day, probably being tracked into other locales. Ugh. Everything is just so MESSY.

My next big project (that I didn't choose and don't want to do) is switching Hayley's and Arlie's rooms. For some inexplicable reason, Arlie has decided she won't sleep in her downstairs room anymore. She has spent countless nights on Hannah's floor in a makeshift bed, or IN Hannah's bed (when Hannah is feeling particularly generous) and finally, last night, Hayley said she would switch rooms with her (actually Hayley was up for this a while ago, but I wasn't sure about putting my teenager right next to the back door for easy, middle of the night escapes with her friends!). After assuring me this wouldn't happen (yeah, right) I finally decided to let them switch. Problem is, the rooms are different sized and layouts so they are going to have to keep the furniture in them and just switch personal belongings (which might seem to make it easier, but the truth is, it's the "personal belongings" part that's impossibly a mess). I absolutely refused to paint the walls, though. So, Hayley will now be enjoying bright pink walls while Arlie will be bathed in purple and pink. Add to this that Hayley has her walls ENTIRELY covered in newspaper clippings, magazine pages, and comic strips. Fun. It might be easier to just remodel and add another upstairs room. If only...........

Well, the dog is loose and in hunting mode so I better go avert his evil intentions. Time to shower and get ready for yoga anyway. Being in a zen-like mode today will do me good (and the coffee and donut after isn't a bad incentive!). Namaste!

Bark Barf - or Bad Dog, Shade - Part ??

So yesterday Shade decided to "deliver" a large amount of what was essentially bark onto the family room floor. This dog is such a pain in the a$$. He will eat literally ANYTHING. Among our many happy finds - an entire box of staples, an entire bag of rubber bands (these arrived post-digestion in a perfectly formed, absolutely dry ball - amazing!), cedar siding, truck wiring, Pixos plastic beads, a variety of lip glosses, a tube of toothpaste, bedding, and paper. He has never been to the vet for any of these transgressions - everything passes through uneventfully (and we get to clean up the results!). Jeff talked this morning about getting his mouth wired shut. I suggested maybe he had pica - a strange disorder that causes people to eat non-food things due to iron or zinc deficiency. Jeff reminded me that his escapades run to food products as well. Like last night - he was in our bedroom and the girls opened the door for mere seconds, and that sneakly little criminal slipped out without a sound and was downstairs eating cake off a plate at the table in seconds! I found the overturned plate, fork and crumbs this morning as evidence. BAD DOG SHADE!

Bad Dog, Shade (and Charlie and Georgette!)

Last night we made a very long trek to the airport and back and while we were there, we realized that we'd left chocolate out on the coffee table at home. While Shade was hooked up to his lead (we have to keep him "chained" to the couch leg when we can't be watching him like a hawk or he will eat everything in sight), the other two dogs were "loose" and sure enough, when we returned home, there was a lot of wrapper litter and no chocolate! Now, Shade was definitely NOT the main culprit in this fiasco, but he managed to "convince" the other dogs to bring chocolate his way, as many of the wrappers were within his reach. This morning I discovered a small spot of "evidence" complete with Hershey Kisses wrappers (courtesy of Georgette, as the other two dogs spent the night in the kennel). The part that really makes me mad is that it was MY chocolate, from my stocking and it was GOOD chocolate (not your typical Hershey bar stuff). I really hope those dogs enjoyed getting their daily dose of antioxidants in that dark chocolate. And I hope they have the stomach aches to go with it! Stupid dogs.

Bad Dog Shade - Part ??

Right after we cut the cake tonight and gave everyone a piece, we were all laughing at something and Shade took that opportunity of distraction to slurp down a piece of cake, whole! Unfortunately for him, he left behind the evidence - a paper plate, a fork, and a suspicious shadow in my peripheral vision that alerted me to his naughtiness! Stupid dog! Hayley was quick enough to capture the criminal on camera. If you should spot this hideous criminal be aware that he is armed with no wits and may have tell-tale smudges of chocolate frosting on his lips.

Bad Dog Shade! - Again......

Last night Hannah put Shade in our bedroom because he wouldn't stop barking (a frequent occurrance these days!). When Jeff went upstairs to bed, he discovered Shade had managed to extract a container out of my gym bag (which I had used as an overnight bag for our last camping trip) and consumed unkown amounts of medicines including Tylenol, Advil, Benadryl, Children's Tylenol, and Prilosec. We put him in the kennel for the night, figuring he would get sick at some point. This morning he's as good as new and showing absolutely no signs of having consumed untold quantities of drugs. Stupid dog. Cheated death again!

Bad Dog Shade - Part Four

Yesterday morning Jeff opened up the garage door to let the dogs in so they could go out back. In the second it took for Shade to dash ahead of Charlie and be out of Jeff's sight for a second, he had grabbed a stick of butter off the countertop and had it in his mouth. Jeff saw him and said "what do you have?" and he dropped the butter and tried to hide. Jeff grabbed him and yelled at him and Shade had the audacity to growl at him! Needless to say, he spent the entire day outside as punishment. Bad, bad dog!

Bad Dog, Shade!

As you may know, we have a large, old, black dog named Shade. Shade is part hunting dog, so, technically he's Jeff's hunting dog, but once he flushes a pheasant out of the brush, he wants nothing else to do with it (he's no retriever!). When Shade first took up residence in our home, he had been exclusively an outside and garage dog, with occasional forays into a guest bedroom with the door closed, lest he growl like Cujo at unsuspecting visitors. I, frankly, was terrified of this dog. And suddenly he was a permanent resident of my home! He growled at Arlie and Harrison at every turn, and I had to put a stop to it. I had to be the alpha dog! So, one terrifying day, after a particularly nasty show of teeth and a guttural sound (from Shade, not me!), I grabbed his collar and growled back, albeit it not as formidably as he. That was the beginning of a long transition for Shade, which up to today has reached a new level of "freedom" for this son of Satan. He's actually allowed to roam around the house a little instead of being tied up to the leg of the couch (seriously!). That was our compromise to letting him be part of the family in the family room. If not there, he was outside or in the kennel. Kind of a prison-like existence, no? However all that is with good reason. Let me tell you about Shade's antics. Before he was "mine", he was Jeff's (and we still argue, along with Hannah, over who he loves more!), and he performed some amazing feats. Like one day he ate the siding off one huge section of Jeff's house. Yes, he ATE it. He didn't tear it up and leave it strewn about. No, he was kind enough to consume his destructiveness and suffer no ill effects. Soon after that, he was left in his dog run overnight with Jeff's truck. Upon awakening, Jeff discovered that Shade had chewed up all the wiring to the lights under the truck. Since he's been in my house, he has refrained from structural damage, but his antics are unique just the same. He has "unzipped" a ziploc bag and eaten a sandwich out of it, leaving the bag behind with nary a tear. He consumed two entire one-pound bags of Easter chocolates, foil wrappers and all, with no ill effect. He once stole a banana off the counter and peeled it, consuming the inside and leaving the peel just perfect. Last night he repeated his banana trick, only this time no peel was to be found, only a slightly chewed stem. This dog will wait until everyone is occupied and then sneak out of the room, foraging upstairs in the kids' rooms where he is sure to find a few cracker crumbs left in a box or a package of Reese's Pieces left over from a birthday party. (Let me stop here to say that my kids are NOT ALLOWED to eat in their rooms, but they break the rules all the time, clearly!). If there is no delectable delight to be found in his favorite haunts, he is just as content to eat lip gloss, toothpaste, breath mints, and lotion. He has never once been to the vet for anything except a regular checkup, having an iron-clad digestive system that seems to handle what goes in. On top of that, he is always "verbal" making whining sounds, barking incessantly, or just breathing loudly. And to top it off, this huge dog, weighing in, I'm guessing, somewhere between 80 and 90 lbs. thinks he is a lap dog. He will climb right up into your lap or on the bed and snuggle, head on the pillow and everything! Which might be cute if he didn't smell so bad and have dew claws that could gut you in one swipe. In people years, this dog is like 75, yet he still managed to attempt getting amorous with Georgette right in front of us yesterday, even though he's had his manhood removed years ago! I kicked him off, saying "you dirty old man!" Yes, Shade is unique, the quintessential "bad dog". Some days I could just leave him on a freeway off-ramp. But somewhere inside my stone-cold heart I have a soft spot for him, poor fool that he is. And so I offer him a blanket at my bedside and saved an old pillow just for his comfort. But if he eats another banana off the counter again, I'm going to kick him to the moon!