Insult back-up!

While Jeff is away, he must have put Harrison in charge of insulting me. He's doing a pretty good job of it. Yesterday he was giving me a "back massage". While he karate-chopped his way down my back, he said "time for the glutes" and proceeded to karate-chop my butt. He stopped and said "Wow! Your butt really jiggles! It's like a bouncy house!" Then he suggested I put a sign on my butt that said "Caution! Oversize load! Do Not Pass!"

Today I was having trouble clasping my necklace. Harrison said "Oh, you should get this thing I saw on TV. It's magnetic and it helps old people put their jewelry on!" Nice. Love that boy!

Mom Magnet

I've noticed that my kids tend to gravitate closer and closer to me as the night wears on. Sort of that "getting ready for bed" routine in which they shower, brush teeth, start to settle down, and then look for me to give it all some closure. Except in the rare instances when I go to bed first. Like tonight - I just lay down on the bed waiting for the kids to finish doing something in my bathroom (shower, use all my makeup, destroy my sink area) and eventually they all ended up in my bed, reading their journals. When they were little, I got this fabulous idea to keep a regular journal of the daily ups and downs of their lives. Well, if you think that actually happened, you don't have kids! Because in between actually LIVING those ups and downs, no mother really has time to write about them. But I tried. And succeeded in some ways. Like, I have a very detailed chronology of my pregnancy with Harrison but after he was born, I skipped to 3 months, then a few more months and at one point, I skipped three whole years of writing! Same for the girls, as I usually write in all their journals on the same day. Three years? What the hell was I doing for three years that I didn't have time to write about their days? Their cute little sayings? When Arlie came into our lives, she came up with some pretty funny sayings of her own, so I got a journal for her too. While it's not full of details about her early days, we are trying to make up for lost time by recording the sometimes hysterical things she says. And once in a while, I find time to update a little about their lives. I'm hoping this give them an insight into how they were at different ages. It's actually an education for me too (reading about Hayley at age four is like reading about her now! Some things don't change and you really see how ingrained a person's personality is. At four, I was writing about Hayley's "take charge" ways and at 15 she's still a take charge girl). So, I really treasure these books and more than that, the memories of the kids hanging out on our bed, reading and laughing hysterically at their books. To that end, I leave you with some memorable quotes:
"Daddy, I will walk on your back for you. But first I will walk on Mommy's back because no one rubs mommy's back. It won't take long because Mommy is so short." - Hayley, age 4
"Why do they call it a restaurant? I mean, people rest there, but what is a 'raunt'?" - Hayley, age 5
"I'm a Cancer, Hannah is a Leo, and Harrison is a.......cappucino!" - Hayley, age 9
"Thank you, God, for shirts and daddy and trees and me. Amen." - Hannah, age 2
"Mommy, you have monkey tree hair." - Hannah, age 3
Hannah: "I'm bored." Mom: "I really hate it when you say that! You are lucky to be alive!" Hannah: "I said I was BORED, not DEAD!" - age 4
Arlie: "I want to ride my red truck" Dad: "It's not charged." Arlie: "Well, get off your a** and charge it!" - age 2
"He was smiling cheek to eye" - Arlie, age 9, describing her cousin, DJ
Scene - Jeff in the kitchen, eating spare ribs, sauce all over his face and hands. Enter Arlie "So, dad, how's that Weight Watchers working out for you?" - age 10
Scene - Harrison on the bed by mommy, pushing on her stomach. When asked what he was doing he replied "trying to push all the air out so you won't have a big tummy but it doesn't seem to be working!" - age 3
"Mommy, what's God's middle name?" - Harrison, age 3
"I am the king. I rule this house" - Harrison, age 4

Still can't get it right!

So, I'm still having trouble getting photos on here. I tried uploading photos into photbucket, but then I got an error message. Maybe it's my computer. It's completely out of memory. Last time I made a new post, it disappeared. I thought I had lost it but when I checked this a day or two later, there it was! Hmmm.......

I just finished a great book - Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I loved it! I bought it a year ago but never picked it up. Finally, between book club books, I decided to read it. It was about the circus (you'd think I might have guessed that from the cover, but no, I thought it was about Africa or something). I won't spoil it, but it's definitely one of the "good" books I've read lately. Now I'm on to "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" which is our next book club book. I also want to read that Randy Pausch book - the guy who is dying from pancreatic cancer and did "The Last Lecture" (also the name of the book).

I've been working back in the dual-language kindergarten this week. Those kids crack me up. Two of them who sit near each other often discuss religion (of all things! they are five and six!). One of them said the other day "You know, if you don't believe in God, you ride a roller coaster straight to hell" to which the other replied "Yeah, where they torture you night and day!" I was just a little bit freaked out. What ever happened to "you're not my friend anymore because you took my purple crayon!"?

In other news, I hate dieting. Not that this is any huge revelation (duh) but I really suck at it. I've been "trying" to do Weight Watchers for just over a month. I've lost, um, let's see 2.6 lbs. I mean, what is that anyway? A good, healthy crap could weigh 2.6 lbs. And I'm just so BAD at it. I eat healthy most of the time, exercise pretty regularly, but if I want to eat chocolate chips out of the bag, that craving just won't go away. So, I eat them and wake up in the morning with a guilt hangover like an alcoholic who sneaked one too many chardonnays the night before. Oh the torture! But here's how I'm looking at it - I could walk outside and get hit by a truck tomorrow and if the last thing I ate was a carrot stick, how sad would that be? Now, a toffee almond bar from Starbucks? THAT'S a last supper.

Tomorrow I'm going to make Greek lemon/orzo soup with turkey. We cooked too much orzo the other night and it made me think of this awesome soup I used to have at a Greek restaurant in Fremont that was all lemony but kind of creamy, too. I found a recipe, and chances are, it won't resemble this soup in the slightest, but the idea is good. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I think this picture thing might have worked? If so, that's Harrison, Arlie and Rylie at the first half of the talent show! Arlie and Rylie performed but Harrison wasn't so lucky as the power went out midway through the show! So, his big performance is this Friday! Let's hope we're luckier this time (snow in May? It could happen!).