Shopaholic....

Today started out so nice and calm. Coffee date with my sweet husband, patronizing local small businesses for Small Business Saturday. We got pastries at Hillcrest Bakery and coffees at 527 Coffee. Aren't we just so local? Well. Just keep reading.

We got home and I decided to head out and "run my errands." I really, really only intended to go to Old Navy for their $8 Christmas jammie pants and Barnes and Noble for a few books that were on various lists. Oh, and since I was over that way anyway, I was going to stop in to Petco to check out doggie diapers. For Shade. I know. Just.....don't.

So, after finding out the diapers were like $20 for maybe six diapers, I said "Screw this, I'll just buy cheap baby diapers and cut a damn hole in them for his tail." And then I headed to Old Navy. And it's NOT my fault that they had such amazing deals. Or that they had this incredible clearance table. I fulfilled a lot of wishes in that store today, including my own wish I didn't even know I had to buy 9 shirts and a cardigan sweater for $31.50 total. P.S. That was just MY total. Ahem. I might have spent significantly more on Christmas wishes for others.

Then, I went to Barnes and Noble. Which was super quick and easy - found what I was looking for and was in and out of there in a few minutes. I could have spent all day browsing, perusing the "bargain book" section, and gotten caught up in buying all the fun holiday stuff, but I was on a MISSION by golly, and I was planning to head home to decorate for Christmas and do crafts.

But then I realized I still needed to run to Target for those damn diapers for the dog. So, I started to think, what else could I get at Target that might be on the wish lists? I made another list and drove over to Target. Once inside I really had to go to the bathroom (refer to earlier posts about Target) and I was really hungry. And, lucky for me, there was a Pizza Hut inside Target! I went to order a pizza only to be told "We're out of pizzas till Wednesday." Wtf? Wednesday is........FOUR days away! And you are PIZZA HUT for cryin' out loud. Whatever. I had the pasta.

So, then I got sucked into the vortex that is Target. It starts with a slow circle around the dollar section, and widens to include all departments, including clearance racks. Darn those clearance racks! But I did score some a-may-zing deals there. For instance, a fairly big-ticket item, normally $50 that I got for $12! Yessss! I cannot divulge what the item was because I made a promise to Santa. And my kids read my blog. Then I sort of started throwing stuff into the cart because I was having a hard time shopping for one child in particular. Ok, it's my son. Boys are SO hard to shop for. If it's not a video game, something computer-related or money, they just don't care that much. And since none of those are things I'm planning to gift to said son this year, I have to get creative. I'm really trying to avoid giving him underwear.

And then........after I actually heard my Target debit card let out a small whimper when I swiped it to pay for all those purchases........I decided to go to the mall. Not to shop, mind you, but to say hello to my daughter, who was working at Macy's. I parked a mere three or so miles away, trekked into Macy's and made my way to the children's department. I followed my daughter around while she put tiny dresses back on the racks and noticed that I could see her bra when she leaned forward, and, when she turned around, I noticed a hole in her sweater. I mentioned both, and she said "I know, I just don't have anything else to wear and I'm recycling all my clothes and I'm running out of things to wear to work." So, of course I had to go buy her a sweater.

I looked around Macy's and quickly realized no f**king way I was going to be able to afford anything at Macy's, so I headed to Sears. Where, by the way, I also found nothing. And was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ugly clothing. I headed back towards Macy's and found H&M. Knowing my daughter raved about this place, I went inside hoping to score some bargains. I DID manage to pick up a few things, but I didn't find the store all that appealing (OR cheap). I figured I'd find what I was looking for at JCPenney so I started the long, long walk to the opposite side of the mall. I made one pit stop at Bath and Body Works because I had a coupon for a free item with any purchase. I bought 2 mini candles for $5 and got a $12 bottle of peppermint body wash for FREE. Yay, for showers that get me in the Christmas spirit! I paid fast and bolted out of the store. Then, I went right by Maurice's, which I LOVE and had a coupon for so I had to stop. And I might have bought my daughter a new work wardrobe while I was in there, but almost all of it was on clearance. If I weren't so tired, I might have been tempted to buy something for myself, but I didn't even look.

I went back to show my daughter her new wares, got approval for all, and headed home. All told, I was out about 5-6 hours, BUT the best part of all? I finished my Christmas shopping! Except for a few items, I am nearly done and it's not even the end of November. I do believe this is some sort of record for me. And I'm already dreading wrapping it all. But I'm really happy that I managed to buy nearly everything on sale or clearance this year. Now, I haven't added it all up (and I'm scared to!) but I'm certain I did pretty well, considering Christmas for a family of six really adds up year after year.

I kind of failed Small Business Saturday, but the best part is, I won't have to spend days and days trying to fit all my shopping into one-hour blocks of time between kids' activities and driving them everywhere. Maybe I'll make cookies. And watch some Christmas movies! And sip Bailey's whilst admiring the lights upon the tree. Of course, I have to put the tree up first....

One thing at a time. 'Tis the season!

Post-Thanksgiving........

Thanksgiving was yesterday and it was delicious and relaxing. It was a very laid-back day, minus the dinner prep, which, come to think of it, took about all day. So. The nice thing was, Harrison helped me a LOT. He made the sweet potatoes, the mashed potatoes and the stuffing. I taught him how to make gravy and it was nice to cook, side-by-side. I had expected the girls to be interested in learning the ins and outs of Thanksgiving dinner, but year after year it's Harrison who spends the day in the kitchen with me.

The meal turned out really great. Jeff brined the turkey and it was so delicious. Plus, the drippings made the gravy divine. I made homemade cranberries, and of course, the potatoes and stuffing, green beans and for dessert, pumpkin pie dip with vanilla wafers and graham crackers. We didn't have any pie because the kids were going to their dad's for dessert. The only bummer about that was that I didn't get to enjoy pie for breakfast, as I usually do the day after Thanksgiving.

I heard on the radio the other day that the tryptophan in turkey, that everyone attributes to the coma-like state we all fall into after Thanksgiving dinner, is actually no more than in any other meats, so the myth has been dispelled. But I disagree. I was SO TIRED by 7:30 p.m., I actually fell asleep in a chair, sitting up, with my laptop on my lap. The kids were gone so I just decided to go to bed. I slept until midnight when I woke up and lay awake for a couple of hours. But I went back to sleep and woke up wondering if I should head out to do some Black Friday shopping.

As a rule, I normally don't participate in Black Friday shopping, preferring instead to shop online on Thanksgiving day. Most all of the deals are there, and there's no standing in line! So, I did make a few purchases yesterday, but today I thought I might venture out, just to one store close to home, for the 6 hour sale. Jeff actually agreed to go with me (with no pleading, either!) so we headed out an hour before the sale was over. We found nearly everything on our list and got out of there in less than an hour! It was crowded but not crazy. I cannot believe some of the stories that come out of Black Friday shopping, so I'm glad we only ventured to one store and slept in instead of hitting the road at 4 a.m.

Then,  I came home and washed all my cabinet fronts. After I took down all the Thanksgiving decorations. In preparation for putting up the Christmas decorations. For some reason, I really hate putting up decorations in anything but a clean house, so I'm busting my butt today to get the house cleaned up and prepped for the holiday deluge. We have about ten giant containers of Christmas decorations. Basically, our house looks like a Hallmark store at Christmas. But we love it. We love Christmas! And after the past few weeks of shopping, I've got a ton of presents to wrap already, which is also on my list for today. Along with crafting, all my laundry, ordering photo gifts, making my ugly Christmas sweater for a party, creating an art corner in the dining room for the girls to paint, and cleaning out a few cabinets. Because, you know, all those calories yesterday need to be burned.

But first, I'm icing my back. Because that cabinet washing really took it out of me. And that was only step 1. I still need to wipe them all down with Scott's Liquid Gold so they will shine like brand-new. Like the holidays!

Cheap seats..........

What ever happened to the good old days when you could buy "the cheap seats" to an event? Now, the cheap seats are outrageous - who wants to pay $60 or more for a horrible seat to an event? I mean, maybe the general population has money to burn, but if I want to take my family to anything, I can't afford $60 a ticket! I am amazed at how many of my friends go to numerous concerts, often traveling to do so, and how many of my kids' friends go to every concert that comes to town, despite the ticket price.

I absolutely LOVE live entertainment. Plays, concerts, holiday shows, high school productions, you name it. But the ticket prices for some of these events have risen so high that they are unattainable, save for the high school performances - and even with those, at $12/ticket, my family is paying $72 for a "cheap" night of entertainment.

Granted, there are six people in my family, but even Jeff and I have often said "Oh, _____ is coming in concert, we should go see them!" only to discover that it would easily be a $200 or more evening for two and who has that kind of cash laying around "just for fun?" Not us!

I do appreciate the fact that there are some alternatives, such as Goldstar.com, which offers discounted seats to many fun events. Of course, they are limited, and often on week nights, but for something I really want to see, I'm willing to make some exceptions. Another awesome program is TeenTix. Any kid 13-19 can sign up and use their TeenTix pass to go to some pretty amazing events - for $5! We once had season tickets to Seattle Shakespeare Theatre and were able to take Hannah and Arlie to a show with their TeenTix for just an extra $10. So worth it!

It's so hard around the holidays, and especially living in Seattle, where there are SO many live performances to choose from, to want to see everything but not be able to see anything because the prices run so high! I really, really wanted to see Wicked when it came to town, but just couldn't swing it. Now, there's A Christmas Carol at ACT Theatre (seen it before, but LOVE it!), The PNB Nutcracker (again, seen it three times, but would LOVE to take the whole family), Elf (brand-new and who doesn't love the movie?), Trans Siberian Orchestra (always wanted to see them, but -wow!- the tickets are through the roof!), and so many others.

What are your favorite things to see and do around the holidays in Seattle? We're planning to do the new Woodland Park Zoo lights, Lights of Christmas at Warm Beach (already got those tickets - thanks Living Social!), maybe ice-skating in Bellevue. We do the free stuff like Molbak's and plan to check out Wight's this year for their holiday displays. We might splurge for the Nutcracker (I've heard there is a TeenTix performance)!

What will you do? What are your favorite discount ticket sites? I just want the cheap seats back!

When is the end?

As anyone who has read my blog for any length of time knows, we have an old dog, Shade. Shade is 16 years old and, recently, he has lost bladder control, such that he wakes up with his bedding soaked in his kennel every morning, he has daily accidents on the floor (several times a day, with no warning), and he can no longer sleep in our room with us, because, in the morning, he can't make it down the stairs and out the door without having an accident.

Besides being a little creaky, slow to get up and lay down and having a multitude of benign lipomas (small, fatty tumors), plus failing in vision in hearing, he seems ok. He's always been an annoying dog - he whines and makes noises constantly, much to the chagrin of anyone trying to watch a TV show or have a conversation. People always ask us "what's wrong with your dog?" and the short answer is "nothing." No vet has ever diagnosed him with anything other than "normal" old age stuff, and no answer has ever been given for his incessant whining. Strangers think he is in pain, but the vet says he's not. Who really knows?

Because of his accidents, he has to spend nearly all of his time in the kennel in the garage. We do let him out when the adults are home (because we watch him better!) but despite our vigilance he almost always has an accident, throws up on the floor (for no diagnosed reason - again, he just throws up ALL the time), or eats something off the counter.

He's a tricky dog, too. He knows when food has been left out and he will wait until everyone is gone and then sneak quietly across the floor and snatch it off the counter or table. He has eaten more "dangerous" things that you could ever imagine and has never suffered ill effects (included, but not limited to, 2 lbs of chocolate, wires, wood siding, staples, rubber bands, and a whole tube of toothpaste). The dog is indestructible!

He can still manage a two mile walk, but is exhausted afterwards. He likes being outside, but almost always gets into mischief when he's out there. He barks at strangers, and, lately, has been more aggressive and "snappy", even at the kids (and us, if we make him move or do something he does not want).

He spends most of his time sleeping, and we often come home and poke him because it appears he's dead, but he's just sleeping so deeply and has lost some of his hearing so that he doesn't startle and jump up like he used to.

The point is - he does not appear to be suffering (save for laying in his own urine-soaked bedding all night, which is definitely gross - he gets wiped off with wipes in the morning and bathed regularly). The cleaning up part of his problem is extremely time-consuming for us (we have gone through more paper towels and mopping supplies than EVER before) and we spend every day cleaning his bedding so he will have clean blankets for the day/night.

Everyone is fed up with him, and when he has an accident, there's a lot of anger and resentment and a lot of "let's get rid of him" and "he needs to be put down." But once it's all over, we question it - is is REALLY time to put him down?

Last Christmas we put down a dog. He was sick and definitely suffering. Charlie had grown so thin and could barely stand. He had diabetes and several other health problems. He went downhill fast. And when the time came - we just knew. It was NOT easy to do, but the decision was not hard to make. He was suffering and it was time.

With Shade, he still has some spunk. He wanders around, but it's not like a happy-go-lucky dog - he's more of an anxious pacer, always looking for something to get into, and rarely settles down. He sometimes climbs up on the couch (which he can still manage - not so much beds anymore - or the car - but he can still get on the couch that sits pretty low) and he will quiet down and sleep. And everyone will say "Aw, look how cute he is!" But that can change in an instant when he pees all over the floor, or someone's foot, or a backpack sitting on the floor, or blankets or pillows that have been left lying around. Then, it's a big job. It's just a lot of work and no one wants to do it.

Shade came with the marriage. So, those of us who were not part of choosing the dog, or having any say in whether to keep the dog are more inclined to take the "he's not my dog" stance. He's been so much trouble from day one, it's hard for me to imagine keeping a dog like him in a busy family with kids because he takes up SO much time, mostly with destroying things or having accidents.

Personally I don't love the dog. I know my life will be SO MUCH more peaceful when he's gone. He's never been one of those dogs who brings joy into my life, he's really just all work and very little enjoyment. I won't miss the smell of dog pee, the accidents, the barf, the excessive dog hair OR his horrendous smell. BUT. I have a hard time knowing if all of the above is justification enough to put him down. And I won't make the decision. I will support whatever my husband wants to do, because ultimately it is HIS dog. Any joy or happiness the dog has brought into the world has been for Jeff alone (hunting with him), but Jeff could tell "bad dog, Shade" stories about this dog for days. It's really unbelievable how many horrible stories we have on this dog. He's just a naughty, naughty dog. And yes, I believe he could have been a different dog with obedience training, but that's neither here nor there at this point. And I didn't have any say when he was a puppy because I wasn't there. I just know that I've always felt the dog was just work. His rapport with people improved so much after he came into our house - before that he growled like Cujo at everyone and everything and I was honestly terrified of the dog. He also used to snap at the kids when they were younger, and I thought he might bite them. But with a lot of time and work, he started to be more "socially acceptable" and was more tolerable to live with.

Still. He is so exasperating. He's costing so much time and money. He's a lot of work and no one is really invested in him enough to do the work. A lot of the burden falls to Jeff (cleaning the bedding, for example, because we clean it in the utility sink in the garage because we don't want to put all that grossness in our family washing machine!). When Jeff is not home, he is even worse - he gets into more trouble and is more difficult. When Jeff has to travel out of town, we've actually kenneled him at the vet because we simply do not have time to deal with him (i.e. having to clean up accidents in the morning and being late to work). But that is so expensive! When we don't kennel him, he requires constant vigilance and his whining, difficulty and accidents cause a lot of distress among the family. Many fights have started over Shade!

So, what would you do? We keep thinking since he's so old and obviously going downhill (although not rapidly) that his "time will come" soon enough. But we've been thinking that for YEARS and this dog seems to hang on, no matter what. He's been checked out medically. There's really nothing we can do about the accidents at this point - it's just old age. And he's a big dog so it's no small feat to clean up after him.

It's a tough one...........

(P.S. I am aware that this post might unleash a firestorm of controversy, as I have many, many friends who are avid pet lovers. We, too, love our pets, but draw the line at treating them equal to our children. They are dogs, not people. However, we are kind and loving animal owners who would never mistreat our pets. Still, we've often had some pretty angry backlash when we post on Facebook about "bad dog Shade." We have taken good care of this dog. Obviously we would prefer nature take it's course. But it's getting pretty bad...)

UnPinterested....

I love Pinterest. When I first discovered it, I spent hours trolling through the pages, pinning everything and anything. And then, I realized I needed to slow down. Was I really going to make all those crafts and concoct all those dishes? Psh. I don't even have time to pee some days, how was I going to do all that wonderful Pinterest-y stuff?

So, I created boards that were full of things I would really try, really cook, and yeah, I have a board of just funny stuff because I like to laugh, and one of just dresses because they are beautiful.

On my craft board I have a couple of pins relating to things you can create from old, discarded t-shirts. I picked a couple of things I thought looked fun and/or useful/interesting and tried them. And I failed. I failed miserably.

The first thing I tried was a "t-shirt necklace." This was created by cutting ribbons of t-shirt and then pulling them in order to get them to "curl up" a little, then bundling them all together with a piece of t-shirt for a "wrap" and wearing it like a necklace. Well. The first thing I noticed was that the strips of t-shirt did not "curl" when I pulled them but rather stretched out about twice their length. By the time I finished, I looked like I was wearing a shredded t-shirt around my neck. Because I was!

Tonight I tried the "t-shirt rosette" which showed a tutorial on how to sew down the middle of a strip of t-shirt, pull the threads to "gather" the fabric and roll the whole shebang in to a little rosette. Hm. I sewed down the middle, only to find that it was next to impossible to pull the threads and gather the material without breaking the threads, and when I finally did, the piece of gathered material was too short to do anything with. I did try. And I made one rosette. Sort of.

Then, I tried the "infinity scarf." Super cute idea, and the tutorial looked darling. I cut the t-shirt exactly like the instructions said, and the "scarf" I ended up with was more like an ascot. Sigh.

I saw a tutorial on how to make a wreath by wrapping "ribbons" of t-shirt material in different green shades around a wire wreath form. I have a couple of green t-shirts set aside in case I decide it's worth the splurge for the wire wreath form. I'm afraid, though, it might look more like "white trash holiday" than "shabby chic."

I guess the best thing to do with an old t-shirt is use it as a dust rag. Damn you, Pinterest!

Kidney stones and aching bones.......

So, here's the thing, parents. When you decided to have a sweet little baby, you undoubtedly had NO idea how much sleep you would lose. In fact, once you pee on a stick and a little plus sign comes up, just go ahead and stay up all night. Or for, like, three days. And then you will (sort of) know what it's like to have a child. But, good news! Many books and theories abound that will help you "train" your child to sleep. You might have one of those little buggers that wakes up every three hours until the age of three (or is that just me)? But, mostly, you will probably eventually have a child that sleeps through the night around age 1 (or kindergarten, whichever comes first).

But do NOT be fooled. Once you have sprung a mini-me from your loins, you run the risk of having your sleep rudely interrupted until they move out. And probably longer than that, but I'm not sure because mine have not moved out yet. I have four teenagers and I STILL wake up at night because of them. The following are some of the reasons:

1. Sick. Kids still get sick in the middle of the night well past grade school, and I don't care if you've graduated from high school - if your mom says you can sleep on her floor, you're gonna take her up on it.
2. Can't sleep. My favorite. Being awakened by a child because they "can't sleep" is like hitting someone in the head because YOU have a headache. Seriously? Count sheep or something. Don't wake ME up.
3. Aches and pains. Again, if you're hurting in the middle of the night, and there is ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet downstairs, but your mom is right down the hall upstairs, you're going to go get your mom. So she can go get you some ibuprofen.
4. I'm home! When your children are old enough to stay out later than you can stay up, be prepared to be awakened by the "I'm home!" messenger. You'll take this over sleeping through the night and waking up in the morning and flying to their room in a panic because you realize you don't know if they made it home last night. During this 2.5 second flight, you will imagine all sorts of horrific details and every crime show you've ever watched.
5. Call 911. This is when your child comes into your room with a ruptured appendix and/or a kidney stone and while you put on your sensible mom/doctor hat and try to diagnose the problem, your husband sleepily rolls over and says "she has appendicitis/a kidney stone, you should take her to the ER" and promptly goes back to sleep. Guess who will spend the night in the ER with the child? Hint: not him.
6. I need to talk. This, technically, is not being awakened in the night, but disrupts your sleep anyway because you just went to say goodnight to your child and are about to collapse from utter exhaustion and they suddenly want to "talk". And that talk will originate in the form of a friend/teacher/school problem and will turn into an hours-long missive about how they have no friends/everyone hates them/they don't know what they want to be when they grow up/etc. And you will listen until your eyelids close for "just a minute" and you wake to your child saying "are you sleeping?" to which you will reply "of course not!"
7. Sleepover alarm. This is when your kids are having a sleepover, and everyone has already settled down so you dare to go to bed and are rudely awakened at 3 a.m. by a sudden burst of laughter (or in the case of dorky drama kids, a musical song, sung in 3 part harmony).
8. The crash. Anything and everything that makes a loud sound in the middle of the night will undoubtedly send you in the direction of your children's sleeping quarters, until you find out it was just the mesh bag of tub toys falling in to the tub, or, in the case of older children, objects being kicked off the ends of their messy beds.
9. Footsteps. When they're little, you'll hear footsteps and will have to either direct a sleepy toddler back to bed or investigate possible mischief. When they're older, you'll be checking for sneaking boyfriends or someone on the lam. Any number of shenanigans are possible.
10. The microwave beeping. You'll only hear this when you have young adults who stay up so late that they need to fix food at 1 a.m. for their fourth meal of the day (or their first, depending on their circadian rhythms). You will wonder who can eat leftover pizza at that hour and then you'll remember you were young once too.

The point is, don't expect to get much sleep. Forever. The end.

Can I have a shorter week, please?

I'm not complaining. I work four days a week, so Thursday IS my Friday. But, it's a damn good thing, because I am SPENT by Thursday. For some reason, my body can only take four days of my awesomeness and then it says "Whoa, there! Slow down!" which usually takes on the form of me trying to keep my eyes open while teaching kindergarteners and watching the clock to see if it's 12:15 yet and can I just put them on the bus, already?

So, today, being Thursday and all, was no exception. I was overly tired (which is pretty much my normal state these days - WHEN will I learn to go to bed earlier?) and last night we were out late. When it was time for me to go home from work, I was thoroughly exhausted and wanted a nap in the worst way. And, lo and behold, I didn't have to take anyone anywhere right after work, so I actually could have worked in a little nap before the afternoon run-around.

When I got in my car, I saw a package and I remembered I was supposed to mail it, like.........a couple of months ago. So, I decided a quick trip to the post office was warranted, since I had time. I took the package in, started the whole self-service process of getting it weighed and postage purchased, when I realized it was a pre-paid UPS label. Oops. I looked up the nearest UPS store on my phone and it was not too far away so I headed in that direction. Which also happened to be the direction of TJ Maxx. So, I might as well stop and check it out, right? Because you never know what TJ Maxx has at any given moment. And Christmas is coming up. And who doesn't want to go shopping when they are so tired they could take a nap in the bedding section on a clearance pillow?

One hour and $132 later, I left TJ Maxx. And I was still tired. But I did manage to drop that package off at the UPS store. Then, I went home.

When I got home, I loaded my arms up with my purse, my lunchbox, the mail (three days' worth because who really checks it daily anymore? And of course it was filled with political ads so it was piled high), and the three bags from TJ Maxx. It was way too much to take in one trip, and WHY do I insist on making one trip when I arrive home after shopping? It's amazing how many grocery bags I can carry. Why? What's the worst that could happen if I made two or three trips? I might burn a few calories? Seriously, I do not know why I try to carry so much stuff at once.

And while my arms were loaded with all that stuff (and it was way too heavy, judging by the way my muscles were shaking just trying to hold it all up), I ran into my neighbor and talked for fifteen minutes or so. While still holding everything. I finally went in and dropped the mail all over the floor because I reached that critical point where my strength gave out and I could no longer hold everything up. Such a metaphor for my life.

Did I mention I was still tired and had to go to the bathroom like, NOW?

So, I went to the bathroom and another neighbor stopped by and we talked for a few minutes until it was time to run a kid to an appointment. No rest for the wicked! Oh, and I was also starving. Because I had some crackers and pretzels and that was all, and it was almost 4 p.m. So, of course I went to Starbucks and got a coffee and a molasses cookie, because who doesn't want sugar when they've had nothing but empty carbs all day?

Finally, finally, we headed home (after realizing, as the appointment ran late, I would need to make other arrangements for the NEXT kid's ride and quickly texted my oldest who begrudgingly took her sister to driver's ed). I was still very tired. Dinner was ready. I wasn't really hungry after Starbucks but seeing as it was the only real food I would have today, I ate anyway.

And after dinner, I was so tired. But I had to make lunches, and do the dishes, and then I noticed the floor needed vacuumed, and Harrison needed help because a mouse was on our porch hiding in a flower pot and he wasn't about to get it out (like I wanted to?), and I decided to take down the Halloween decorations because they were SO YESTERDAY (haha, see what I did there?), and then the stove top was dirty so I had to clean it, and the dishes needed put away, and the table needed cleaning, and I had a new candle to light, and there was a gross smell in the hallway, so I had to investigate and, and, and........

The good news is I was IN BED by 9 p.m. Of course, I'm still on Facebook and blogging so it's not like I'm getting any sleep, but I am resting, right? And tomorrow, oh, blissful tomorrow, I do NOT have to wake up early. For the first time in.........forever. So, perhaps I will catch up on some sleep. Probably not, but I love the idea of it. I have such great ideas. All talk and no action. Is there a superhero for that? Inaction Girl? Ok, I'm going to sleep now..........

Slob.......

Today I took Hannah to an orthodontist appointment at 9 a.m. Upon arriving at the office, the first thing I noticed was a grown man wearing pajama bottoms, a t-shirt with a coat over it, and flip-flops with socks. He was unshaven, clearly having just rolled out of bed (this was confirmed later when he mentioned to one of the office staff that he received a message that his appointment was earlier than planned so he "rolled out of bed" and hurried to the office so he wasn't late). And I call bullshit on that. How hard is it to throw on some pants? Shoes? Or take off the socks and just wear the flip-flops? Brush your hair?

I'm so sick of seeing people in their pajamas in public. It's not only the epitome of lazy, but it's also gross. I don't want your ass sitting all over chairs in public with your nasty pajamas on that you've probably been wearing four or five nights in a row, and have all your bed germs on them. Ew! Plus, are you going to just wear them home, lounge around in them all day and then crawl back into bed with them on? Sicko. Now they have "public" germs on them. Just wrong.

I hear my teenagers refer to it as "scrubbing." As in "I'm scrubbin' it today!" while wearing sweats, a sweatshirt, slippers that "double" as shoes because they have a semi-stable sole, and a "messy bun." Seriously? A messy bun is just another word for "bed head." We all know your hair is unwashed; pulling it up into a semi-bun and plucking out a few strategic strands does not disguise that fact. One time I went to my son's classroom wearing sheepskin slippers because I had them on at home, and ran out of the house before I realized I had them on, and not shoes. I was mortified. But then, I realized no one even noticed and they probably thought I was just "scrubbin'" that day.

I don't have a job where I have to wear fancy "work" clothes, but I do wear nice jeans, cute tops, matching jewelry. My day off, I live for my yoga pants, but I pair them with a nice top. I wouldn't be caught dead at the bus stop in flannel pajama bottoms and duck slippers; even when I stayed home and didn't "have to" dress for anyone or anything, I still put on real clothing and made an effort to tame my Medusa curls.

I mean, to each his own, but how hard is it, really, to just put on clothes and "get ready" for the day? I feel gross when I don't shower in the morning, and, although I'm a sport when it comes to camping with no showers, I live for baby wipes and a "spit bath" and nothing feels better than that first shower after a couple days in the camper. I don't know how people skip showers and wear the same clothes for days. Especially if you don't HAVE to.

Don't get me wrong - pajama day is fun! But not every day. And not in public. Especially if you're over the age of 18. Seriously. Just get dressed.

Monday - food shopping, lasagna and P90X

Today was a typical Monday. I guess. Work was good, even though I arrived ten minutes late for a very important meeting (I wasn't actually a part of the meeting - my job was to "watch" the student who's parents were IN the meeting). I would really like to know how I can leave my house at 7:45 a.m. and get to work at 8:10 a.m. but I can also leave my house at 7:25 a.m. and get to work at 8:10 a.m. Leaving early did NOTHING for me this morning and the back ups were way worse than usual. Ugh. So, I had to do the walk of shame into the principal's office and retrieve the child. Going to the principal's office never loses it's luster. Or dread.

So, after work I went grocery shopping. Which, how is it possible to need to go grocery shopping just a few days after you did "the big shop" and certainly had enough food for the rest of the month? I spent $300 on groceries last week and just spent another $200 today. Why do they need food EVERY day? Sigh. Also, it takes SO LONG to shop from a list and use coupons. I mean, I do it anyway, but I was in the store for an hour and a half! Ok, so I spent the first half hour or so looking at clothes and trying on bras. But still....... (oh, I should point out that I shop at Fred Meyer which is "one stop shopping" for those of you who wonder why we have bras in our grocery store).

I got home and made dinner. Jeff and I were proactive and made a lasagna last night so all I had to do was pop it in the oven, throw together a salad and warm up some garlic bread, right? WhatEVER. I sat down to eat at 5:30 - and it was the first time I sat down since walking through the door at 3:30. That's the thing about dinner. It takes so much TIME to prepare. UGH! And they didn't have any garlic bread. So, I had to use Italian bread. And put butter and garlic on it MYSELF. UUUGGGHHH. And.....make a salad. You have to wash the lettuce and tear it up.........just way too much work for a food that has no calories, therefore gives you no energy. This is why making cookies makes sense. Think of all the energy you get from cookies! Totally worth the work!

After dinner Jeff asked me to help him get ready to do the P90X program. He bought it off Craig's List. I rolled my eyes. But tonight he asked me to help him do the fitness test and take the silly "before" pictures. The book actually suggests poses. I love those before and after pictures because the person always looks so distraught and uncomfortable in the "before" but in the "after" they are smiling and flexing their muscles and (let's admit it) sucking their gut in! So, we took the requisite measurements and pictures and then started the fitness test. Just for fun, I did it, too, and I think we were both surprised at the results. Jeff did pretty well -exceeding nearly every test's minimum. But that's not surprising for a guy who's been fit all his life, rides his bike to work nearly every day, and does triathlons "for fun." What surprised me was that I exceeded nearly all the tests as well. Except for the chin up. Which I did exactly 0 of. What happened to the girl who used to swing from the monkey bars? Who did the cherry drop (three swings and a swooping drop) and the dead man's fall? I was fearless on the bars. Now, I can't even hang from the bars for fear my arms might actually rip from their sockets. Oh well. No chin ups. And the jumping jack test at the end........well, let's just say my sports bra was NOT intended for that kind of abuse. Holy hell, I had to resort to just running in place holding my boobs. Jumping jacks indeed. I do not jump.

After the test was over I asked Jeff if he was going to do the first workout or if we could just go to bed now. He said "bed." LOL! But what he did was take a shower, get some ice cream and THEN head to bed to read about the workout. If only it were so easy.

The "F" word..........

I thought the "F" word a lot today. As in, it's so "F"ing early, why did I stay up till 1:30 a.m? Or, I'm so "F"ing tired, how am I going to get through the next four hours with these kindergarteners? Or, I'm so "F"ing tired of driving all over the place every day. I didn't say it (much) but I thought it (a lot).

Today I got up at 6:30 (haha, set my alarm a half hour later so I could "sleep in") after going to bed at 1:30 a.m. And I was tired, of course. But off I went to work, and work was fine. After work, I ran home to get Hannah for rehearsal, barely making it in time to drop her off and pick up a friend's daughter to drop her off at her mom's school. After that I went home, checked my email, typed out a schedule for the kids' babysitting job, and ate two brownies. Then, I picked Hannah up and took her to get her student ID picture taken. The lady handed me a packet and I said, oh, I just want to get her ID card and she says, oh, that will be five dollars. And I thought the "F" word again, as in, those kids spent all my "F"ing cash and I forgot my "F"ing checkbook at home so now what? And she said, no problem, as long as I have it by tomorrow. And I thought, when will I have time tomorrow to bring you five dollars? And so we got the picture and left to go to the bank and get some cash. And of course, I got two twenties. So, I took Hannah to Taco Time which served two purposes: 1. to get her dinner because at that point, I knew there would not be time before driver's ed to feed her, and 2. to break the twenty. When I handed the money to the guy and said I don't care what change you give me as long as one of them is a five, he looked at the twenty, then at me and said, um, I don't know if I can do that and I had to explain to him that part of my change would be a ten and he could easily just give me two fives. He said ohhhhh like he still did not understand and he took a long time counting my change. And I turned to Hannah and said, stay in school! and thought who the "F" gets a job at Taco Time and can't make change?

So, then I took the five back to the lady at the pictures. And then I had to hurry home so Hannah could get her driver's ed book. And I thought, I really have to "F"ing pee right now so I took two minutes to do just that and then we hurried back into the car to pick up our carpool friend. And he took a few minutes coming out so I thought hurry the "F" up, kid. And then we headed to driver's ed. Only there was traffic and I thought we'd just take the shortcut I found a few days before but that turned into a long cut and the kids kept saying how they were going to be late and I thought, shut the "F" up, I'm doing the best I can. And they were late.

Then, I took the long cut back home, only this time I got lost even more and ended up way far away than I should have been and I thought, I "F"ing hate Mill Creek, that city never ends and it's not even a city but a bunch of expensive neighborhoods and roads that wind around and confuse you. And then I found my way back and pulled in the driveway just as my husband, who had been away all of yesterday and today on a crazy mountain hiking adventure, walked into the garage looking like a crazy mountain man with his backpack and all. And I thought what the "F"? But I didn't have time to talk to him because I had just enough time to get Arlie for her piccolo lesson. So, I headed back outside without so much as walking farther than the entryway and we drove to the lesson.

The lesson was an hour, during which time I checked my Facebook and Twitter on my phone and listened to notes so high I was sure the glass would break. And I thought, man, the piccolo is really "F"ing screechy. And I ended up writing a check for three more lessons (cha-"F"ing-ching) and we headed home. But we were starving by this time, because, you know, no dinner again, so I stopped at Little Ceasar's and it said "we have pizza hot and ready at 4 and 8 p.m." and it was 8:30 so I said, we're "F"ed. But we weren't. Because we got pizza. And breadsticks. And everyone was happy.

And, I thought, I am so "F"ing tired. I hate Mondays. "F" Mondays.