Mondaylight savings time.........

I know daylight savings time technically happens early on a Sunday morning, but all we hear about is how awful the Monday after is. And I scoff! Seriously, how much difference can an hour make? Well, apparently, according to scientific studies, quite a lot. I will not cite those studies here, because I am lazy but you can Google that shit.

I know I definitely saw first-hand how horrible a Monday can be when one of my kindergarteners completely melted down because he lost his opportunity to hear the story at the end of the day (hey, sorry kid, but when you whack another kid in the eye with your backpack, things happen). He screamed at the top of his lungs, while kicking a brick wall, for ten whole minutes, punctuated a few times by giant yawns. Poor kid. Poor me, I had to listen to it! But I did feel badly for him and gave him an extra big hug on the way out the door to the bus. I mean, it's not his fault - stupid daylight savings time!

I know I had a hard time getting up this morning. But I think that was mostly because it's Monday. Seems as though everyone hates Mondays. Poor Monday.......taking all the bad rap. But I'll admit it - Mondays usually kind of suck. Haters gon' hate.

Who wants to hear about my Monday? Ok, good. Here's a rundown:
1. Woke up late. Got to work late.
2. Worked. See above for snippet of my day. Multiply times ten. Or a hundred.
3. Left work, which is less than a mile from H2's counselor's office to drive all the way home (9 miles) and pick up H2 and bring her back to counseling appointment. She CANNOT get her license soon enough!
4. Used my (almost) one hour while she was in counseling to do some badly-needed grocery shopping. NOTE TO ALL: Do not shop at Top Foods. So grossly overpriced. Ended up not buying half the needed items because they were outrageous. Got a coffee at Starbucks to soothe myself because I was so annoyed. Emotional eating (drinking)? Psh.
5. Picked up H2 and was super annoyed that I now needed to stop at another store.
6. Stopped at Fred Meyer to pick up the rest of the items, and not pay 50%  more! Seriously.
7. Got home around 4:15 and realized I still needed to cook chicken to put in salad for dinner. And that Jeff had half the ingredients in his car. (He went to Costco on his lunch hour - sometimes grocery shopping for this family is a two-person sport).
8. Assembled salad as much as possible, throwing in last two ingredients when Jeff arrived home (which required more slicing and dicing). Shredded fresh-from-the-oven chicken with my bare hands, sacrificing my comfort (and fingerprints, and possible second-degree burns) for the sake of feeding my family dinner (and the fact that we needed to leave RIGHT NOW to pick up A at driver's ed and head to a meeting at the high school therefore dinner had to be finished AND packed into "to go" containers).
9. Raced to pick up A and friend, dropped off friend at home, and wolfed down salad and bread whilst driving. A informed us she didn't need to attend the meeting with us, and then decided we could probably skip the meeting altogether, voting for going for a milkshake instead. YAY!
10. Took our first breather of the day at DQ, enjoying mini blizzards, and filling out high school enrollment with A.
11. Headed home where Jeff spent the next three hours doing work for his REAL job on the computer, while I faced down the prolific Costco produce procuration. Bazinga!
12. Spent the next two hours cleaning up from dinner, doing dishes, cutting up apples, strawberries and carrots, putting grapes into baggies, and making room in the fridge for all of it.
13. Ate a carrot. Wanted a treat but resisted. Felt a headache coming on - likely from lack of sugary treats.
14. Had to pee really bad.
15. Said "f**k this shit" and headed upstairs for a much-needed bathroom break. Seriously considered going downstairs to watch the rest of "Criminal Minds" (WHO killed the family??) but saw that it was already after 9 and decided I really needed to crawl into bed with my computer and catch up on Facebook. Took headache meds.
10. Scrolled all the way through my FB feed (seriously, I cannot just get on FB once a day. It just takes too much time all in one sitting!). Decided to blog.
11. Started blogging but couldn't concentrate because of my hangnail. Pulled hangnail, saw blood. Had to get up to put a bandaid on finger, And neosporin (plus pain relief because it was a hangnail and all).
12. Returned to blog.

Plus, I have one of those little sores on my tongue that you get when you eat a lot of candy. Only I didn't even eat any candy. How sucky is that? And now I'm hungry. But I need to sleep. Which biological urge do I respond to? Earlier I had to choose between working out and doing housework and/or relaxing. I mean, tough choice, no?

Monday. You can just go now.

How was your week?

Technically Sunday starts a new week, but we all know that it really starts on the dreaded Monday morning, so this is a wrap-up of the previous week.

Actually I can start on Thursday because I already mentioned the tonsillectomy and the horrible day at work, which was how the first half of my week was consumed. Thursday at work was only slightly better, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As soon as I left work I received a text from my husband that made me really mad and we ended up having a big fight. We almost NEVER fight, so it was another really bad day.

Friday I took Harrison and Arlie to the orthodontist, and while I was there, I needed to square away our bill because there had been some confusion as to what we owed. In the end, I paid $840 on the spot to the ortho and set up auto-pay for the future. Good LORD, that was a lot of money. I wasn't even sure I had that in my checking account to cover it, but I paid it anyway and prayed. I sure hope my kids appreciate their straight teeth. I, for one, never got braces because my parents couldn't afford them and I still have crooked teeth! However, at this point in my life, I can't afford braces, nor do I want the hassle of them, so I'll live with my imperfect teeth. But my kids better appreciate their perfect ones. And wear their retainers!

Friday night I asked Jeff to look at the dryer because it had been making weird noises for weeks and the kids said it wouldn't turn on so we hadn't been using it for a few days. He "looked" at it, all right. It's now in several pieces in the laundry room and parts don't come in till Friday. We do laundry almost every day around here so this is a huge challenge for us. Today I washed eight towels (I counted how many bars were on the collapsible drying rack and only washed that many towels), and even drying on the rack all day with fans pointing at them, they are still damp. The thought of going to a laundromat is abhorrent, but I might have to break down. However, I know we can all go at LEAST a week without needing to wash clothes, I'm just not sure how "desperate" anyone's laundry situation was before the Great Dryer Debacle. I, for one, will probably be desperate for clean jeans by week's end.

Saturday morning Jeff participated in the Fire and Ice run in a nearby town. I volunteered for the race, and had a great time riding through the cornfields to my post on the back of a truck. My partner and I then set up our chairs (which we never sat in) and stood at our post, encouraging runners through the obstacles (ours were "The Bergs" - wood platforms set over mud and mud puddles and covered with soap to resemble slippery icebergs, and "Charcoal Hill" - a pile of old tires to clamber over). In all, there were 21 obstacles in a 5K run. It was cold, wet, muddy and fun! There was a HUGE mud puddle (more like a lake) at my post, and although it wasn't technically part of the race, I encouraged over 300 people to slog through the mud (and took pictures of all of them!) We both had a good time, collected our swag and free hot dogs, and headed home where the kids weren't even awake for the day yet! Lazy kids. We showered, changed into pajamas and took a 3 hour nap! Being productive that early on a Saturday really takes it out of you. Heh.

Saturday night was "date night." Jeff actually has this in his calendar on a rotating basis so he informs me when it's date night and we try to actually go on a date on those nights, although sometimes we're pretty lame - like the time we decided on dinner and a movie but after dinner we were too tired to go to a movie. This Saturday night we actually went out to a very nice dinner, basing our choice of restaurant on a Living Social deal we bought. However, $100 later, we found out the coupon was only good for Sunday-Thursday. Guess it pays to read the (very) fine print! But the dinner was amazing and the "Double Bastard" beer I consumed (two full pints) was enough to knock me on my ass. I'm a lightweight anyway, but I hadn't had a beer in AGES. Especially one that was 11% alcohol. Needless to say, I was a little drunk. But the rest of the date was just a trip to Home Depot so I stayed in the car while Jeff went in to find a special screwdriver, and then we came home and, despite my three-hour nap, I crashed around 10 only to wake up to Macklemore singing on SNL. Good times.

Today my awesome son treated me to coffee and a salted caramel cake pop. He is just so generous with his Starbucks card! Plus, the sun was out, so it was a beautiful day to sit outside and enjoy our treats. He even browsed in a few "girly" shops with me in the shopping center before we headed home to do homework (him) and read the paper (me) on the porch swing in the sun. Not quite balmy out, but it was sure nice to see the sun today. Later, I drove Hannah to the store so she could pick up the latest Twilight movie, which came with free popcorn and soda. We were then accosted by the Girl Scouts and brought home five boxes of cookies. I just enjoyed one of each. Cookies. Not boxes of cookies.

Oh! And I also got in a nice workout this morning with Hannah and Arlie. We "walked away the pounds" with Leslie Sansone on DVD. It was nice to check that off first thing in the morning.

And we finally took down all the Valentine decorations. Out with the hearts, in the with shamrocks! Only we didn't actually put up the St. Paddy's decorations yet. I'll get to it. Hopefully before March 17. How was your weekend?

Bleh.........

Today was one of the worst days I've ever had at work. Working with special-needs kindergarteners, that's bound to happen, but today was one of those days where "when it rains, it pours!"

First of all, I woke up late. Mostly because I stayed up too late, talking to Jeff since he'd been gone for the past four days, visiting his grandpa in San Diego. By the time Arlie and I returned from a gymnastics banquet, I got Hayley settled with her meds and some food (she had her tonsils out yesterday morning), and Jeff got home and unpacked, it was 10 p.m. I walked past the mirror and decided I could not take one more second of my grey roots, so I decided right then and there to color my hair.

Jeff asked how long I would be, and when I asked why he said "I thought you might want to talk!" which earned him HUGE points, because, really, how sweet is that - he wanted to catch up after barely communicating but for a few texts for four days. So, I squelched on the color and sat and talked to him while it did its magic. And by the time I washed it out, took a shower, and got to bed, it was 11 p.m. and we talked until 1 a.m. At which time I promptly fell asleep only to be awakened by the alarm at 2 a.m. to give Hayley her meds. Uggghhh.

I went back to sleep till 6 when I vaguely remember turning off my alarm, and woke again to Jeff saying goodbye. "What time is it?" I asked. His reply: 7:09. CRAP! So began another typical morning of rushing, and trying to find something fast, healthy and filling that I could eat in the car on the way to work (yogurt and bananas - which, by the way, is NOT easy to eat in the car).

I had heard work was especially difficult in my absence yesterday, due to a new student with behavior issues. So, I was expecting a lot of trouble today, and also knew the school had hired my sub from yesterday to come in and work the next two days so we'd have extra hands for Mr. Trouble.

And trouble it was. With a capital T. New Student flailed, screamed, swung at me, flopped on the floor, cried, ran away, ripped paper, threw his work on the floor, and shouted "S.O.S!" every time I tried to restrain him. I took him outside for several minutes of non-stop running just before a reading group, which did NOTHING to calm him down. He squealed, flung his whole body around, refused to sit down, and unscrewed the bolts on a nearby easel. The teacher who was conducting the reading group finally asked me to take him back to our classroom. The day ended with the teacher in my classroom physically restraining him while another teacher attempted to teach a lesson. New Student screamed the whole time and the rest of the class was totally distracted.

The difficult behavior continued and it had a most unpleasant effect on the rest of the class. Six out of the nine students in the class had meltdowns, complete with crying and/or screaming. One girl threw such a fit she had to be taken outside, but her screams could be heard all the way across the room inside! Another was sobbing because he could not draw the "yellow triangle angry bird." Yet another had something happen to which I was not privy, but for which I paid the price when she said "I'm so mad at you!" and hissed at me from the bus steps (thank God she was on her way home!). Typically our days go pretty smoothly with brief episodes of behavior and maybe one or two meltdowns a week. Today it was six in one day - and some of them had multiple meltdowns.

When work was finally, blessedly, over, I had to race to Hannah's appointment with her teacher, after which I dropped her off at a friend's house, picked up a prescription, filled the car with gas, got myself a coffee (my stress relief), picked up Hannah, ran home, went to the bathroom, picked up Arlie and headed to an appointment with her. I missed my exit on the freeway so it took an extra 15 minutes to get there. After that, we began driving home, and by this time it was after 5 and she was hungry.

And that's when I caved in to her request for Taco Time. I picked up meals for me, Arlie and Hannah, a bowl of refried beans for Hayley (soft food diet), and texted Jeff to just pick up McDonald's or something for him and Harrison because we crossed paths on my way home and their way to guitar lessons and band practice.

I had big plans for this evening. I'm on staff room duty at work, so I thought I'd bake up a storm and have a couple of different cookies, breads, brownies, etc. for everyone to enjoy tomorrow. I wanted to work out. And, of course, I had bills to pay, paperwork to do, emails to answer, Facebook to check.

Instead, after eating crappy fast food, I got a stomach ache, went upstairs and decided I'd rather be in comfortable clothes so I changed into a t-shirt and yoga pants. I walked past the mirror and noticed my 35-plus minutes of coloring my hair last night yielded less than desirable results since I could still see grey (let's be honest - WHITE) roots, decided I hated my curly hair today, and ended up spending a half hour straightening my hair. For no reason whatsoever.

I also decided I'm not baking, I'm not working out, and I'm pretty much ready for bed. I really, really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I just want to crawl under the covers and sleep till the weekend.

Maybe I'm just getting too old to work with little kids. Because they are wearing me out and my job is only part-time. Bless the souls of those, like my friend Tonya, who work full-time in special-needs classrooms. I'm not sure it's my calling. I just want to stay home, write, and get paid for it. Is that too much to ask? That, and no grey roots. And to lose fifty pounds. I know, first world problems. I'm tired.

Drama queen surgery......

This morning, bright and early, Hayley had her tonsils removed. This was her choice, but after having strep and tonsillitis for many years, she decided enough was enough and arranged to have her surgery. Since she's old enough to do that now, I didn't have much say about it, but I went along to provide support, a ride, and pay the bills.

The only thing in the world that could get Hayley up before the crack of noon had kicked in - nerves - and she was up a full hour or two before we needed to leave. Comfy clothes, check. Glasses, no contacts, check. Removal of all jewelry including heinous new gauges in her ears, check. We were off!

When we arrived for check-in and were answering questions, I noticed a bunch of stuffed animals in bags behind the receptionist. As we filled out forms, she rummaged around and produced a teddy bear, which Hayley snatched to her chest like the toddler she is. Then, she signed her own consent forms, very adult-like.

When we were taken into the pre-op room to wait, I explained how the operation would work. "They take this big fork thing and stick it down your throat and twist until your tonsils pop off." LOL! Nothing like some sick humor when the nerves are kicking in. Just one of the many services I provide! She changed into a gown, much chagrined that she couldn't keep her bra on, and struck a sexy pose, like no one else can wearing two cotton gowns with strings and a pair of grey fuzzy hospital socks.

As she bounced and twitched in anticipation, I explained that once the blue cap came out, it was all over. She said "I hope they give me morphine. I love that stuff!" Um......

The nurse arrived with the blue cap which means "mom leaves now" and she took my baby to rip out her organs.

And then I waited. And got coffee. And texted. And used my phone so much checking my email and Facebook, and taking selfies that I immediately deleted, that the battery nearly ran out and I had to go tell them that my phone might not work any more so they better send someone out to let me know when she was ready.

And then I remembered I was going to film her in case she said anything funny while coming out from anesthesia, but my phone wouldn't work any more so I decided to use her phone and they came to get me. And she didn't say anything funny at all!

Soon enough, we were headed home where I made her chocolate pudding and she went to bed. I charged my phone and set alarms for every four hours. Because I am taking no chances with this one - I WILL make sure meds are on board and on time. For the sake of all who know her and love her.

And then I made a Chinese chicken salad for Arlie's gymnastics banquet tonight, which I'm sure isn't Chinese at all. The salad, not the banquet. And I ate lunch. And I was very, very tired.

And then I walked by the bathroom mirror and saw my grey roots and thought, damn it! I have been meaning to color my hair for days now but I keep forgetting until I walk past a mirror. So, then I thought if I'm going to color my hair and have to get in the shower anyway, I might as well work out, because why waste a perfectly good shower when I could do something good for my heart first, and then I thought fuck it. I'm going to take a nap.

And that is the story of our morning. I'm going to nap while my baby naps. Great advice I got at that very same hospital when she was an infant. But only for 24 minutes because then it's time for the powerful meds who's names being with hydro and oxy. For Hayley, of course. Not me. Psh.

Rude!

I read a news story tonight about people who sent "anti-invites" to people to tell them they are NOT invited to their wedding. WTF? Have we really come to this? People need to be informed they didn't make the cut? Oh, and another new "trend" is to be on the "B" list for a wedding - meaning you ARE invited but only if someone on the "A" list cancels. Hmm. Do me a favor. If you feel the need to do this for your wedding, please don't invite me OR un-invite me. In fact, do us ALL a favor and elope. For crying out loud, it's a wedding! It's a celebration of love and the unity of two people (50% of whom will get divorced anyway, but I digress).

Weddings have really gone over the top. I blame YouTube and Pinterest. For one thing, after that couple did that awesome wedding entrance dance and posted it on YouTube, everyone tried to top it. Here is the epic wedding entrance dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RgMrf6Dhhs. Don't even bother watching any of the others because everything else is just an imitation.

Then, there is Pinterest, where people "pin" virtual weddings that may or may not ever happen. Even I got sucked in and I'm not planning on getting married again. But I do have daughters. So I created a board, aptly titled "Someday Their Prince Will Come." And, seriously? You can find millions of things to wear, do, decorate with, and eat at your dream wedding on Pinterest. Because, of course, everything must be perfect.

But the thing is, weddings are usually far from perfect. My first wedding consisted of handmade bridesmaids dresses, a wedding dress off the "bargain" rack (but still beautiful), and food mostly prepared by my mom, served in the church basement because it was easier and cheaper than renting out a separate venue. Even though we were budget-conscious, it was still several thousand dollars. We invited everyone and I didn't make my bridesmaids pay for their own dresses (also rude!). We never got to taste the food because we were too busy talking to our guests and it rained.

My second wedding was much different! We decided, literally, two weeks before the wedding to have it the same weekend as a big family party. That way, most everyone would already be there, including the majority of our families. We paid one price for the venue, the preacher, the flowers, cake, food and hotel. It was so easy! I bought my dress for $200, the girls' bridesmaids dresses for $50 each and the flower girl dress for $30 - all off the rack at department stores. While the wedding still ran us a few thousand dollars, it was "bargain" by today's standards, and we certainly didn't have an "A" list or a "B" list. But my son's tuxedo was a men's size small and he was seven years old, we had way too much food leftover, and I got my period. Very romantic.

I get it - weddings are expensive and you can't invite everyone. Or you CAN, and adjust your show-off party. I would much rather have everyone I love invited to my wedding than have to pick and choose. If that means hearty appetizers rather than a sit-down dinner, bring it on! The more the merrier, I say, and no one is going to remember the paper lanterns, or the table favors or your vows. If it's important to you, and you can afford it, you should certainly have the wedding of your dreams. But since when is it ok to let people know they are not invited? What happened to old-fashioned etiquette?

It seems like today weddings are more about playing a game - a chance to show-off or show-up the last person - and less about the union of two people who fell in love. If I want extravagance and a big show, I can get tickets to the circus. In the meantime, I'll choose the "C" list - cut me out!

Turn in your technology!

We instituted a new rule a few weeks ago - no technology after 10 p.m. for the kids. Meaning cell phones, iPods, iPads, and laptops had to be "turned in" by 10 p.m. to a central location in the family room. At first, this new rule went over like a lead balloon. But we told the kids it was non-negotiable, and that was that. I'd been pretty tired of the kids staying up late and/or being tired all the time because they stayed up till 2 a.m. on Tumblr (Hayley), fooled around with their iPod till midnight (Arlie), FaceTimed with their friends till 11 p.m. (Harrison), or posted Facebook statuses at 1 a.m. (Hannah). Thus, the new world order. Or something.

Anyway, after all the hysterics were over, the kids got pretty good about turning stuff in, and lo and behold, without their technology to entertain them, they actually started going to bed. Sometimes even before 10 p.m.! In fact, it's not unusual to hear at least one person express their fatigue and desire to go to bed starting around 8:30 p.m. Mornings come and the kids are more chipper, get ready faster and easier, and all is now right with the world. Relatively speaking.

Sure, the kids could go back and get their technology after we're asleep. And maybe they have! But the point is, they actually self-regulate and go to bed on time now, with no argument or delays, and manage to get homework and other things done well before the 10 p.m. cutoff. And it seems like they are less "attached" to their technology than before (although, you won't find any of them without a phone in the face most evenings). Tonight, by 9:30 most of the house was off to bed, it not IN bed. I laughed that we were like old people now. Early to bed and early to rise. Hey, it's working! Try it!

Still here..........

It's been ages since I blogged, and there are a myriad of reasons for it, but here's a little catch-up:

1. Harrison was supposed to perform in the junior high talent show this evening. He was going to sing and play the guitar. Instead we spent a couple of hours in the ER, because just before we needed to leave for the show, he developed a profuse nosebleed that stopped just long enough for us to get to the school, set up the video camera, tell everyone the dramatic story of his nosebleed, and then be informed by a random teenager that he was in the bathroom and needed us NOW. His nose had started bleeding again, and just stop reading this RIGHT NOW if you are squeamish at all, or don't like blood because I'm about to get very graphic. The sink was FULL of blood. We used up a whole roll of toilet paper sopping it up. Blood was coming out both nostrils in a stream. And huge clots that resembled leeches periodically slithered out his nose. I am not squeamish, but I think I gagged a little. And, being the mom, I had to clean up the mess and take him to the ER. So, where's my trophy? After a call to the nurse line at the hospital, we were advised to take him to the ER which we did, and it was a good thing we slipped in right before the rush because if we'd had to wait three hours for them to tape together two tongue depressors and make a pincher for his nose, I'd have been pissed. But that's exactly what they did. Super high-tech, yeah? They left it on his nose for a half hour, then he sat for another half hour to make sure it wasn't bleeding again. And then they booted us to the curb. Good times. Bonus: we got Dairy Queen on the way home!

2. That was my second trip to the ER in three weeks. Hannah spent an afternoon in the ER and then a week in the "IPU" at Children's Hospital for treatment for severe anxiety. I wrote a whole blog post about it and my computer froze up and it disappeared. I was on a roll and it was a damn good blog post if I do say so myself and I could never replicate it, but suffice it to say it was an emotionally-wrenching time, exhausting and time consuming, but overall it was a good experience and helpful. I'll write more about it in another blog post, when and if I can recreate the awesomeness of the one I lost.

3. Today at work, we had a fire alarm in the middle of calendar time, which put our already-on-the-edge kids in a frenzy and set off a day of craziness, which included screaming fits, crying (not me, the kids), and ended up with some blood. Not a great day for me, very stressful, and I spent a good deal of my time thinking about another line of work. On my way home, I spotted a group of kindergarten-aged children waiting for a bus. There were about ten of them, with one teacher, and they were holding hands and standing quietly in a semi-circle. And it struck me how that would never, could never, happen with my class. They just can't do the things other kids can.  And as frustrating as that it sometimes, I have to remember that they just CAN'T and it's not always because they won't - they are just different. And my job is very, very hard and very, very exhausting.

4. We've recently instituted some technology rules in our house - everyone has to "turn in" their technology at 10 p.m. and no one sleeps with a cell phone in their room or an iPad, iPod or other gadget that is distracting to sleep. This, as you might imagine, went over like a lead balloon, but I dare say everyone is sleeping better and it's showing. Radical, eh? Yesterday I accidentally left my phone at home. I realized it just as I was exiting the neighborhood and could easily have turned around but I decided to just spend part of the day "off the grid" and see what happened. And it was kind of nice not to be bothered at work, or feel the need to check my email or Facebook at stoplights, or write a note to myself in my phone (I used a post-it note). I was really too busy to care.

5. I went out with girlfriends twice this week and it made me remember why I need to take those kinds of breaks. We all need someone to talk to. And while our lives take different directions over time, I'm grateful for those friends who are eager to catch up, even if a long time has passed. Also, a longtime friend of mine declined yet another invitation so I opened up the chance for her to put our friendship to bed and she did. Not just me, but two other friends - the four of us have been friends since our first born children were infants.   And while I understood that she chose to focus on her new-found friends, I found it sad and a bit superficial that she didn't have time in her "busy" days to catch up with old friends. Which brought me back to an old thought - we are ALL busy, and we all have to decide how to budget our time, but I really treasure the friends who are not so wrapped up in themselves or their lives, no matter how challenging, that they still see the value of hanging with old friends, even if a long time passes between visits.

6. Research shows that working out before breakfast has many benefits, and also that lack of sleep can make you "fat" by increasing levels of cortisol in your body. I've been trying to work out, but I've also been staying up way too late, so some mornings I get out of bed and squeeze in 20 min of cardio before work, and some days I sleep till the last possible minute. I'm counting on it all balancing out, but I'm no fool. I caught a glimpse of myself in a dressing-room mirror today and I decided I resemble a cake pop - all round on top perched on a stick (no, my legs are hardly "sticks" but from the side I certainly have some proportional challenges). I mean, I like cake pops, so.....it's not all bad. But I'd rather resemble a slice of bacon - all curvy and hot. :)

7. I've been really frustrated by the cost of living lately, and the fact that we seem to run out of money between paychecks all the time, and that we live in this big metropolitan city with arts and entertainment galore and yet we can't afford it so it feel like being a kid in a candy shop with no access to the peanut butter cups. The treats are all around us, but we can't play. And it kind of pisses me off and puts me in a bad mood and makes me think how can I earn more money and could I work two jobs but then I remember I have these kids to take care of and they're kind of struggling right now, and so I need to be home as much as possible, so I can't work another job, so maybe we should just move somewhere more affordable, or somewhere where the entertainment is cheap, down-home and fun, and we could grow our own vegetables and churn our own butter and make handmade stuff and.....see how my thought process spirals? I just thought I'd treat you to it.

8. I LOVE Valentine's day, not because of the presents and chocolate but because I just love the color combo of pink, red and white. It's so cheery and fun! And I love hearts and want to plaster them everywhere. But as a holiday it kind of sucks because it's just too much pressure. Pressure if you're single and want to be dating, pressure if you're dating to get the perfect gift, pressure if you're the wife of a man who's really awesome at gift-giving but you suck at it.......or maybe that's just me. And then there are the kid gifts. Girls are so much easier - there are so many things you can give them for a Valentine's present - heart-shaped jewelry, clothing adorned with hearts......what do you get for boys? A candy bar with a heart wrapper? Yep. Boys get totally gypped on Valentine's Day. I think my kids will have to learn to love heart-shaped sugar cookies. Because I'm totally not buying into the whole commercial Valentine's day thing. Check back with me next week and see how I did. I'm such a sucker for cute.

9. I've recently been told that I set the tone for the household by my moods. And that when I'm stressed, the tension is in the air and everyone else gets tense. And that I try to control things too much. And I "freak out" when things don't go the way I want/expect them to. And while I acknowledge that most of that is probably true, I pointed out that I suffer from anxiety (as does everyone else in my family), I do the majority of the heavy lifting when it comes to parenting four teenagers, and I'm going through early menopause which, I'm sure, is playing havoc with my hormones. I take my anxiety meds every day like a good girl. So, everyone is just really lucky I don't rip off someone's head each and every day. And after the last two years I've had with my kids, I think every day that ends with all four kids alive and well is a good day. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. I remember thinking having a toddler who never slept was torture and I thought I'd die from lack of sleep. I'm laughing so hard now. Parents of kids under 13 take note: it gets SO MUCH HARDER! Your kids will turn into these really awesome beings who are talented and funny and with whom you really enjoy hanging out, but they will rip your heart to shreds in a millisecond. And don't you forget it.

10. I stayed up too late again. Story of my life.But no worries - because tomorrow I am going to rise early and work out. I will be on time to work. I will have a great day with cooperative kids who control themselves. I will come home and cook a delicious meal for my family. We will have a drama-free night and everyone will go to bed on time. I hope you enjoyed your bedtime story!

Unfunny.........

Things around here haven't been so much on the funny side. There's a lot going on, a lot of serious stuff, and it's hard to crack a smile these days for all the stress and chaos. So, I give you a list of the unfunny:

1. Depression.
2. Anxiety.
3. Illness.
4. People who don't get it.
5. Crisis.
6. Being torn between work and home.
7. Not being able to fix everything.
8. Sadness.
9. Worry.
10. Fear.

And, to counter that, I give you a list of the funny:

1. Scaring people.
2. Farts.
3. My hair in the morning.
4. Facebook hacks.
5. When Jeff sings "Fame!"
6. Harrison's improv songs.
7. Arlie not getting it.
8. Hannah acting like a crested gibbon.
9. Hayley doing impressions.
10. Mommy, I schmell shit! (Only my family will get this)

Laughing is good medicine. Sadness is bad medicine. Laugh, even when you're sad.

Traditions....and why it's ok to change them...

Tomorrow is the first birthday in our family in 2013 - and things they are a'changin! We have had a long-standing tradition of "birthday morning" meaning the birthday boy or girl wakes up to the kitchen table decorated with presents, balloons on the chandelier, and a birthday morning treat of their choosing on the table for breakfast. The thing is, this was never intended to be a tradition. It's just something I did ONCE and after that it was expected. I didn't mind this, in fact, I thought it was pretty cool we had our own little tradition. It was fun - until the oldest kid hit junior high.

Then, the school start time was much earlier, necessitating the younger crowd getting up even earlier so we could all gather 'round the festive birthday table and watch the present opening. And once the kids got even older, yours truly had to stay up later and later (or get up REALLY early) to do the "birthday fairy" thing and put out all the decorations, presents, and, often, stay up late baking something (or get up REALLY early to bake something). Ugh. Birthday tradition or not, it became more work than I wanted it to be.

So, recently I suggested we switch it to "birthday evening." And I was berated for not keeping the tradition alive and kicking. Well, then.

But then it was MY birthday and no birthday fairy came. No one decorated squat and there were no presents on the table in the morning, nor a birthday treat in sight. In the evening I had presents, but I was not happy about all the times I stayed up late or got up early to create this magic for everyone else in my family and not one person bothered to do it for me.

And I realized, a tradition is no fun if it's just work for one person. And since I started it, I can end it. So, now we are having birthday evening. Or afternoon. Or whenever I have time to get it all together. Sometimes traditions just create stress and what's the fun in that?

Birthdays are for celebrating, certainly, and I love a good birthday party and the traditions of presents and cake. I love creating that for my family. But I think as you get older you have to create new traditions or just take them as they come. My friends take me out for lunch on my birthday every year and I love it. But I would also be ok with whatever other way of celebrating I wanted to do, with or without friends.

The thing is, no one's birthday is going to go by unnoticed around here, even if there are not five mismatched balloons tied to the chandelier. There will still be presents, just not first thing in the morning. Birthday morning treat might be a trip by the coffee stand and the fact that you actually get a ride to school and get to skip the bus for one day. There will always be cake - heck this year my son got an ice cream cake tonight, a promised rainbow cake from his big sister tomorrow and cupcakes for his party on Saturday. So, yes, there will always be cake.

It's ok to take a break..........from traditions. Or to change them completely. Change is good.

Not even cool........

Today I struggled with my bangs. I straightened them, and, as anyone who knows me can clearly see, I have VERY curly hair. But sometimes I'm just sick of my "Top Ramen" noodle-curly bangs and I just want regular, straight bangs. But then, I have to straighten the rest of my hair, or, in a pinch, pull the rest of my hair up into a high ponytail and let the curls fall where they may. But my bangs just never really "blend" and so I'm stuck with this sort of half'n'half hairstyle, which I'm not even sure can be called a "style."

Then, I wore this shirt....I'm not even sure where it came from. It appears to be new, so I must have bought it at some point, but I've never worn it. And I'm not even sure what I saw in it - it's like it was love at first sight and then I wanted to break up with it. So, it sat in my closet, lonely, until I took it out today to wear it. And the color is really nice on me, but the style......well, you know how tall, willowy people can pull off a blousy shirt and it looks all bohemian and flowy? That's not me. It just made me feel frumpy. And very mom-ish. Which is not a bad thing - I mean, hey, I wear my mom badge proudly, but it just wasn't what I was trying to pull off today.

As I was out driving on my errands, I thought about my "style" which is essentially whatever I find that's on sale and cute. I have some things I obviously avoid (skinny jeans, mini skirts) and some things I really, really love (cardigans, comfortable jeans) but I tend to adopt something comfortable and cute and it becomes my uniform for a long time.

When I was in school, I never had the luxury of "in style" clothes. You know those super-cool Izod Lacoste shirts? Never had one. Nope, the closest I got was the knock-off Le Tigre brand with the obviously-not-an-alligator tiger decal on the chest. And I only had one of those (I'm sure it was in a clearance bin somewhere and I jumped with glee to score such a lucky find). My friends, however, had MULTIPLE "alligator shirts" that they actually wore together in layers of two or three, with all of the collars popped up showing layers of pink, baby blue, and soft yellow. Oh, the envy!

I think I once owned a pair of Jordache jeans but it was after they were all the rage and everyone else had moved on to another designer. I think they were acid-wash. So, probably on sale as well.

My favorite shopping experiences were going to Mervyn's at the end of the month for their clearance sale. All my friends shopped at 5-7-9 but I wore a size 11. They feathered their hair, but mine was a frizzy helmet (this was before the days of good styling products, so it was wash, "creme" rinse, blow dry, pouf!). One day in high school, a girl in my class exclaimed loudly "you're wearing makeup!" which I thought was weird, because I wore makeup every day! I guess I didn't get the memo about the several layers of Maybelline foundation, and stuck to mascara and Bonne Bell lip gloss.

Today my style is Old Navy jeans, shirts from Old Navy, Target or Fred Meyer, with an occasional splurge at Maurice's in the mall. My shoes have improved - where I once wore only what was on sale at Payless Shoes, I have now branched out to Danskos and Born clogs, but only because of a foot injury and the subsequent doctor's orders to quit buying crap shoes. I love jewelry (costume of course, I do have some real pearls but they broke years ago and I've never bothered getting them restrung). I have baubles to match any color scheme. I've amassed a collection of scarves but I never know how to wear them without making them look like a badge saying "look at my huge boobs!"

The point is, I was never cool in school and I'm not cool now. At least not where my clothes or hair is concerned. Today it's more about not having the disposable income to dress high-fashion, and the need to clothe four kids as well as a husband. That, plus my ingrained inability to not head right to the clearance rack, keeps me shopping bargain basement, all the way down the the thrift-shop. I even do it when I shop online. The other day, sick in bed with nothing better to do, I perused all 2,444 items on clearance in "my" department on the Target website. I snagged three sweaters (all the same in three different colors) for eight bucks apiece and finally found a pair of cute black boots - something I've been searching for since before Thanksgiving. Everyone else is wearing these adorable black calf-high boots over skinny jeans, but my calves were fat before I was, and I'm not willing to spend $100 on "wide-calf" boots from a mediocre designer just to try to achieve the look. Besides, I'm short so most boots go all the way up to my knee anyway. But a nice pair of shorter, low-heeled black boots would be really nice and I found some for $12. Yeah, it kind of violates the rule of "no crap shoes" but they might be really comfortable!

During the last week when I was sick, I also watched "Project Runway" for the first time. It was quite amusing - the designers were required to make a fashion garment from items found in a hardware store. Some of the results were stunning and amazing - but nothing the normal people would ever wear. But listening to them talk about clothes - all the adjectives, the comparisons, the subtle references - was hilarious. Who really wears high fashion? Who can afford it? Who doesn't love yoga pants and a comfy t-shirt? If clothes make the man, my husband is a hobo. But I think he's still pretty cool, despite the fact that some days, when he's working on his truck and runs to the auto-parts store, I'm afraid someone is going to hand him a dollar or offer to buy him a meal. I love him, scruffy and unkempt. I just hope he feels the same about me. Discount wardrobe and all. It's cool.