Today I went to yoga. And since my kids were still with their dad, I also went to coffee with Amy and Carla. Well, we got to talkin', you know how girls do, and all of a sudden it's 12:20! Holy crap! I was supposed to drop Harrison off at a friend's house at 12:30, get to an appointment in Seattle at 1:30, take the girls to their well-child checkups at 3 and pick up Harrison at 4:30. In my mind, I had it all planned out (as I usually do....) but, the best laid plans.......
Anyway, we raced home from yoga and I took the fastest shower in the West, dressed and took Harrison to his friend's house (12:55). I then drove as fast as I could without getting caught to downtown Seattle for my appointment. Of course there was traffic. And construction. And I arrived at 1:45, fifteen minutes late (not bad, though, considering). Now, this is the part that bugs the hell out of me. I see this endocrinologist for my hypothyroidism and he's one of the best, blah, blah, but he's located south of downtown Seattle. Which is a bit of a drive for me. And so I park in the parking garage, and zip to the elevator, but end up stepping on the "down" elevator without realizing I just needed to go "up" one floor! Grrrr....now I have to ride the elevator down five floors and back up. Then, I have to pay my copay and check in, THEN wait in the doctor's little cubicle office area. And wait. And wait. Because, I'm late. And I deserve to wait, right? I finally get called, the nurse checks my weight (I tried not to cry in front of her) and blood pressure. The dr. comes in, we have a five minute discussion, he writes a prescription, says see you in six months and I'm outta there! But, alas, I check my cell phone and it's 2:45. No way on God's green earth I'm getting all the way home and then to the dr. office by 3. So, what to do? Naturally I call Jeff. But he can't help me because he's ridden his bike to work. And the kids' dad? Useless as tits on a boar hog when it comes to driving them anywhere. I thought about calling in a neighbor's help (all the while wishing Hayley had already taken the initiative to get her license now that she's 16). Jeff was able to reschedule the appointments, whew! I get in my car, pay $5 for parking (thank you very much, no validation people!) and head home. In traffic. All of that for a ten minute appointment. Lame.
And I'm STARVING! I have not eaten anything since coffee and a slice of lemon bread and my stomach is growling painfully the entire drive home. All I can think about is Taco del Mar. I have not eaten there but maybe twice before, but a big ole burrito with rice in it sounds way too good. I finally reach my exit and it's already 3:15. I still have to pick up Harrison at 4:30 so I head into Taco del Mar and eat my big ole burrito and some chips and a pop and I'm full to bursting. I had 15 minutes to kill so I went to Blockbuster and bought a bunch of movies off their "4 for $20" table. Was a couple minutes early to pick up Harrison, talked to the other mom for twenty minutes and came home. He and Jeff left right away to go salmon fishing and crabbing at the pier in Edmonds and I told the girls I wasn't making dinner. Ate a chocolate bar.
And got to thinkin'. I really need a wife. I would have enjoyed a wife making me breakfast this morning so I wasn't so starving at yoga. A wife might have been able to help me by taking Harrison to his friend's house or being home to take the girls to their dr. appts. so I didn't have to reschedule them for NEXT week on one of my days off. A wife perhaps would have had dinner ready when I finally arrived home. A wife might be doing laundry or tidying up or grocery shopping or some other mundane chore right now while I blogged guilt-free. I try to cram all the boring essentials of life into my one or two days a week I'm not working and I can't even make that work. So, I'd like a wife to help me do these things. I'd like her to be pretty and personable and never yell or get frustrated. If she could also be organized with charts and lists, that would be wonderful. Bonus points for washing blinds or getting the carpets cleaned. Yes, I'd like a wife. Any takers?
5 comments:
I can ship you a nice Filipina maid that will only cost you about $250 bucks a month. They're everywhere here. Lemme know. :)
I'd like one too:) Ouch! Just kidding. I couldn't resist. I think what you want is called a Maid:)
We just need to figure out how to get those lazy bums who lay around all day watching TV and playing on the computer to, at the very least, "leave no trace" and not make the house a worse wreck than it already is. Then, maybe we can get them to do a load of laundry or wash the dishes. After that we move up to advanced training and have them have dinner ready when we get home:)
Yes, wife is definitely not the definition of what you want. I do most nights get the dinner, but now that she's working too, I'm actually having to do laundry and help out about the house. Train the kids, that's what we did, otherwise the house would never get vacuumed, the dishes would get done when we needed them...the list goes on...
I am already doing those things, and believe me you could never afford what it would cost for all those traits!! I yell, and I cuss, and I am reasonably "personable", but that just about does it!! No charts, no pretty outfits, no frills - pretty good if I do say so myself!! :-)
p.s. I was home alone today and made no attempt whatsoever to swiffer the dog hair..heh heh heh!!
As for a "wife"....call on Ellen Degeneres do give you some tips!!! LOLOL
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