Why??

Why is everything so good so bad for you? I just hate eating healthy all the time. Honestly, I can't go a day without indulging in something that is probably bad for me in some way - too much fat, sugar, or chemicals or something! It's not that I don't like healthy food - I do. In fact, here is a list of healthy foods I like: salmon, whole wheat English muffins, avocados, tomatoes, oranges, apples, grapefruit, carrots, celery, lettuce, squash, green beans, corn, pork chops, chicken, grapes, nuts, oatmeal, peanut butter. And here is a list of foods that are not healthy that I like: Lucky Charms, Crunchberries, Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, Starbucks tall decaf mocha, cinnamon scone from Starbucks, toffee almond bars from Starbucks, chocolate covered cherries, cake with frosting, chocolate chip cookies, frosted sugar cookies, various kinds of chocolate, Bailey's, fruity drinks with alcohol, beer, and basically anything that involves flour, sugar, and butter. See my problem? Why don't we all just crave healthy foods? I start the day out right most of the time - I eat a bowl of Cheerios with a little bit of honey and milk. Then, it goes downhill from there. Lunch will be healthy, with maybe a little "sweet" thrown in for after. Then, I need a snack around 2 or 3, which often involves a stop at Starbucks. Then, dinner. And as if that's not enough, dessert beckons me. Sometimes I resist, or substitute something like a bowl of cereal (sugared, always!), but mostly I like dessert. And now that the new year is upon us, and we're changing our ways, I'm trying to eat healthier. But it doesn't take much to derail me. The stress of my husband not being offered a job, or a looming medical test, or really any little bump in the road can send me to baked goods in a flash! Emotional eating? Yeah, sure it is. But let me tell you, taking a walk or "calling a friend" is no substitute for a pastry and coffee at Starbucks (bonus points if it's WITH a friend). Somehow it just makes it all better. For a while. But I really am tired of being a size 16, when not too long ago, I was a comfortable 14 and even a 12 for a good long time. However, even at this size, I find myself happy with myself in a lot of ways. Sure, I'd like to be skinnier. Sure, I'd like to look better naked (who doesn't?). But it reminds me of something my Weight Watchers leader once said "Honey, there's a reason we wear clothes!" Not too many people look good naked. So, really, size or looking airbrushed when nude are not my goals. I'd like to tie my shoes without making a grunting noise. And be able to do a certain twist in yoga that eludes me (I'm convinced it's because of my tummy flab!). And stop having to scrutinize my tops to make sure I'm not showing too much "muffin top". Mostly, I'd just like to not outweigh my husband! Or maybe just be able to borrow his jeans. Sigh.

Technologically challenged!

Grrr......I've been trying to upload photos. So far, I got two! I have no idea why my main photo is so huge - I checked "shrink to fit" on my options. I have been having such a hard time getting photos to upload and to figure out how to lay out the page. UGH! I am so lame when it comes to stuff like this.

Anyway, at least there are some changes here. I worked today, proctoring the "WASL" test which is our state's test of standardized learning. Whatever! I had to be a "scribe" for a student who is a native Spanish speaker. Now, this girl can speak English just fine, but as an ESL student, they are allowed to have a scribe. So, I wrote, word for word, what she told me. This test is such a big deal and Harrison has been a nervous wreck about it. Personally, I don't like standardized testing. I understand why we need it, but what does it really tell us? Not much. I think we spend more time and money making "standards" for the test that we could spend teaching the kids.

Just waiting for a pizza to be delivered! This is how my diet goes awry every day. I start out with the best intentions. Fruit and yogurt for breakfast, Lean Pocket for lunch and then the evil minions start creeping in........chocolate, cake, decaf tall Mocha at Starbucks. Wednesdays tend to be "free for all" nights because we only have Arlie here (the other kids are at their dad's). She has a nice Top Ramen habit going on for Weds. nights but tonight she wanted to order pizza. Now, everyone knows pizza is no good at all without a beer (or a Mike's or.......) and after that when your tummy is all full and content and bubbly, you need ice cream (specifically a milkshake) to settle things down. Alas, diet disaster!

On top of that, my husband is "celebrating" his demotion at work. He arrived home at 3 p.m., downed two martinis, ranted for a couple of hours about his job, then took Arlie outside to play softball. I feared for the wild pitches and hoped no small children would wander into his line of fire. Happily they came back intact and now I believe Jeff is sleeping off his indiscretion.

Gotta run, pizza guy just arrived! I will attempt to add more photos.........it can't be this hard!