Well, the world didn't end and we had a wonderful Christmas. For one thing, the power stayed on, which was a nice change from last year when we spent the entire day in the dark and had Jack in the Box burgers for dinner. This year, we had Jeff's steelhead he caught two days before and it was delicious! Presents were plentiful and it was a great day to just hang out with the family.
One thing I couldn't believe was some of the comments on FB from kids who didn't get what they wanted. Are you kidding me? Selfish little brats! If you woke up on Christmas morning, you got what you wanted. Be happy. Seriously, I think we all need to rein it in a little when it comes to materialistic Christmases. Me included. I (once again) overbought, overspent, overdid it. My kids didn't get iPhones or anything like that, but their arms were full of new, fun things nonetheless. Our living room overflowed with gifts. And for that, I am thankful - that we were all together, that we could provide these gifts, that our lives are plentiful and full!
As I write this, it's a quiet morning (even though it's well past 10 a.m.) because all the kiddos are sleeping. Harrison had a friend spend the night. I'm laying in bed, looking through Facebook, checking my email, blogging and I'm STARVING! I really want someone to bring me breakfast in bed. From Starbucks, please and thank you. Jeff is out on gymnastics carpool duty as Arlie is at a three-hour workout. So, he's out of the picture for serving Your Royal Highness. I suppose I should get up and cook a big breakfast for the kids and the sleepover friend, but then I think......nah!
That is one area where I suck as a mom. I HATE MAKING BREAKFAST! To me, the perfect breakfast is a coffee and pastry, preferably made and served by someone else. I'm not one to whip up eggs (which I don't care for and suck at making) and/or waffles, pancakes, etc. I just have no patience for breakfast. I'm usually starving when I wake up and if it's a work day, I'm busy getting ready and often grab something I can eat in the car on the way to work like a frozen waffle with peanut butter. A big, hearty breakfast with any type of meat and/or potatoes is more like dinner to me, and certainly not something I want first thing in the morning. Yuck!
So, even when my kids have friends over, I just throw out some cereal and milk. Or do nothing now that they are old enough to make their own pancakes (and mess up the kitchen in the process). In fact, I'd like nothing more right now than to just sneak out and get myself a coffee and a doughnut and eat it in peace somewhere (the driver's seat of my car will work just fine).
On another subject, the week between Christmas and New Year's feels kinda "dead." I keep forgetting that most people have to work (I am off the same times as my kids because I work for their school district). But yesterday I remembered I still have to pay bills, schedule appointments, call people for things, etc. I'm on vacation....sort of. But since we've spent most of it just hanging around the house, it feels kind of empty. I think I better plan some fun stuff to do before the break is over so I don't feel like we wasted it! For one thing, we still have Groupons to go see a big light display that we never did before Christmas. We'll do that tonight or tomorrow. There are a ton of things we COULD do, but who has a huge after-Christmas budget? I guess I should try doing all those crafts I never got around to doing for the holidays! HA! I still have a huge batch of sugar cookie dough in the freezer that I never got around to baking either! I even bought special squeeze bottles for frosting this year so we could have a real Santa's workshop of cookie-baking but they are still sitting empty in the pantry. SIGH!
I do enjoy the after-Christmas sales, but I'm so cheap I want to wait till next week when everything is 90% off. Of course, there's no selection left by then. I did buy some new boxes and bags for wrapping next year. I reuse them until they're practically falling apart, so this year I had to recycle a bunch. The nice thing about the after-Christmas sales is that since we have both a January and February birthday in our house, I can pick up great birthday presents on the cheap!
I always love giving gifts and watching the recipients open them and this year I was especially excited for the things I got Jeff. I think the best thing (and his favorite gift!) was an artist's rendition of his dog, Shade, that I had done for him. It was a 5x7 sketch with color and included a matching ornament. It really captured our old dog! I also got him a four-hour chartered fishing trip and tickets to a hockey game. I always find men in general to be difficult to shop for, my husband included, so I was pretty excited about some of the things I got! He was very happy (and got lots of other presents too!).
It's almost 11 and still quiet. Maybe I can sneak out after all! Gotta use those Starbucks gift cards sometime, right? :)
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
The end of the world as we know it........
I'll wait while you get that song stuck in your head. Good? Ok.
I think what the Mayans were trying to say is that today is the end of the world as we know it. That from today forward, we should embrace a whole new world (now get THAT song stuck in your head!). But seriously, maybe instead of focusing on doomsday now we can focus on moving forward with a renewed sense of what's important in the world. Leave behind anger, violence, hate, bullying, oppression, injustice, pain and suffering. And embrace kindness, inclusiveness, peace, love, fairness and joy.
Now, before you start waving your peace signs and singing "Kumbaya," let me explain. It only takes a second to change your thinking or your actions. Instead of rushing to anger when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or snapping back with a snarky comment when someone insults you, try taking a second to ask yourself if it's really worth it? I think the events over the past year have shown us that, in the bigger scheme of things, very little matters beyond keeping those close to you safe and wrapped in love. Being unkind or angry takes a ton of time and energy - effort that could move mountains if put to good use.
Sure, we all lose it from time to time. I can count at least two times in the past week I've lost it - screamed when I should have talked, blamed when I should have left it alone, berated when I should have lifted up. We're human and we're not infallible. But it's amazing what happens when you just stop for a second and say "wait...how can I change this?" I, myself, committed to doing acts of kindness. Not just "26 Acts of Kindness" for the Newtown victims, but small kindnesses that I can do every day. I fed a homeless man. I bought my co-worker a cookie. I let a frazzled lady cut in front of me in line at the post office. Because, really, these things were small fry compared to the bigger picture. And it only took me a second and little effort to do them, but perhaps they made another person smile or feel special or just relieved a bit of their daily stress.
We have a lot of "No Hate" against bullying, food drives, inclusion programs in our schools, etc. going on in our world. But it doesn't take a huge effort, or even an organized one, to make a difference. We can start by modeling kindness to our kids. And not letting them think they are entitled to everything under the sun. Nothing fixes your perspective like getting outside of yourself and helping someone else - or just seeing that other people have troubles too.
So maybe this IS the end of the world - of all the craziness and insanity that our world has become. The ONLY way to change that is to change your ways. Change your perspective and change the way you react to things. Think before you act out in emotion. Don't think before you do something kind. Just do it.
I'm grateful to be alive today. To wake up in my house, to have food to eat, to have too many Christmas presents to wrap. All good things. But it's not just today. I'm grateful for that every day.
It's the end of the world as we know it............and I feel fine!
I think what the Mayans were trying to say is that today is the end of the world as we know it. That from today forward, we should embrace a whole new world (now get THAT song stuck in your head!). But seriously, maybe instead of focusing on doomsday now we can focus on moving forward with a renewed sense of what's important in the world. Leave behind anger, violence, hate, bullying, oppression, injustice, pain and suffering. And embrace kindness, inclusiveness, peace, love, fairness and joy.
Now, before you start waving your peace signs and singing "Kumbaya," let me explain. It only takes a second to change your thinking or your actions. Instead of rushing to anger when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or snapping back with a snarky comment when someone insults you, try taking a second to ask yourself if it's really worth it? I think the events over the past year have shown us that, in the bigger scheme of things, very little matters beyond keeping those close to you safe and wrapped in love. Being unkind or angry takes a ton of time and energy - effort that could move mountains if put to good use.
Sure, we all lose it from time to time. I can count at least two times in the past week I've lost it - screamed when I should have talked, blamed when I should have left it alone, berated when I should have lifted up. We're human and we're not infallible. But it's amazing what happens when you just stop for a second and say "wait...how can I change this?" I, myself, committed to doing acts of kindness. Not just "26 Acts of Kindness" for the Newtown victims, but small kindnesses that I can do every day. I fed a homeless man. I bought my co-worker a cookie. I let a frazzled lady cut in front of me in line at the post office. Because, really, these things were small fry compared to the bigger picture. And it only took me a second and little effort to do them, but perhaps they made another person smile or feel special or just relieved a bit of their daily stress.
We have a lot of "No Hate" against bullying, food drives, inclusion programs in our schools, etc. going on in our world. But it doesn't take a huge effort, or even an organized one, to make a difference. We can start by modeling kindness to our kids. And not letting them think they are entitled to everything under the sun. Nothing fixes your perspective like getting outside of yourself and helping someone else - or just seeing that other people have troubles too.
So maybe this IS the end of the world - of all the craziness and insanity that our world has become. The ONLY way to change that is to change your ways. Change your perspective and change the way you react to things. Think before you act out in emotion. Don't think before you do something kind. Just do it.
I'm grateful to be alive today. To wake up in my house, to have food to eat, to have too many Christmas presents to wrap. All good things. But it's not just today. I'm grateful for that every day.
It's the end of the world as we know it............and I feel fine!
Christmas fails.........
In the spirit of Christmas and lovingly handmade gifts, I came up with two projects I thought I could actually do this year. I bought the supplies well ahead of time, read and re-read the tutorials on Pinterest, and imagined the perfect results in my head. Turns out, imaging things does not make them come to fruition.
My first project was a photo-to-wood transfer project. I spent $21 on gel medium (bought the big jar because I was certain I was going to LOVE this project and want to make hundreds of them). The idea is you cover a piece of wood (in this case, pre-cut wood plaques from Michael's) with gel medium and put a photo that you've printed on a laser printer on top of the gel medium upside down, so the photo will transfer to the wood. You have to leave it overnight first, and in the morning, you get the paper wet and rub off all the paper and voila! A beautiful wood transfer that you then cover with Mod Podge (bought two big jars, at $8 each) and present as a gift. Well. The first thing I did wrong was I didn't use a laser printer. Because who has a laser printer at home? And who has time to go to Kinkos? Not me. So, I used my regular ink jet printer after reading that some people had success with this. Big mistake. The pictures printed fine and everything went according to plan until the next day when I rubbed off the paper and half the printed picture in the process. Whoops! I asked Jeff to sand them down so I could try again. Same results. Crap. Only one turned out even halfway and then I decided it needed to be painted black around the edges so I attempted to make it look "antiqued" by rubbing it with an emery board. Oh my. I sent it to my sister anyway, since it was intended for her and was a picture of her and her beloved on their wedding day. It's not at all what I wanted it to be but since it's the only one I didn't trash, I sent it anyway. FAIL!
My second project still sounds good in theory but I never had time to actually DO it. First I bought a metal stamp set at Harbor Freight. The set contains the alphabet and numbers and a few characters. The idea is that you buy some metal washers at Loews or Home Depot and you "stamp" words or names or what have you into them. You can layer the washers by size and then you string them on a chain, perhaps add an embellishment, and you have a delightful custom necklace. Since it took me so long to get around to doing it (read: I still haven't done it!), I decided last-minute that it would also be cute to make them into ornaments so I had to buy another $10 worth of heavy-gauge wire to string them on. Well. One day it will be really cute. Only not for Christmas 2012.
Why I even thought I had time to do crafts is beyond me. I've always considered myself a crafty person, but the truth is, I am only crafty for the under 12 set. Any kids' craft I'm all over - I can and will do them. But adult crafts - you know, things that are supposed to actually look good? Not so much for me. Add to that the fact that things have been crazy around here this 2012. One crisis after another and no time to breathe, let alone eat or pee some days. Crafts? Fugghedaboutit!
In the same vein, while I was nearly done with my shopping Thanksgiving weekend, I failed to do the extended family shopping until the very last minute and thus was scrambling to mail packages yesterday to the tune of $60, give or take, for postage. Now, I am trying to reconcile this in my head. I used to send gift cards, then decided presents were more fun and more personal. My siblings and I long ago decided to only exchange gifts between the kids. After exchanging the same $10 Target gift card over and over for years, we decided a couple of years ago to send ornaments instead. After all, the kids will be grown one day and then they would have a collection of ornaments for their very first tree in their new apartment. Except that ornaments have to be mailed. In a box. Which is like buying a whole other gift when you consider the postage for each package. So, it makes sense to me to just send gift cards in the Christmas card envelope I was going to send anyway! Gah!
Speaking of Christmas cards, mine are still sitting on my kitchen table. I just finished printing the Christmas letter at 12:35 a.m. on the day the world is supposed to end (it didn't). Now I have to fold and stuff them and hopefully tomorrow I will mail them. I feel like I'm very far behind on this task this year. And the main reason is this: we had NO opportunity to take a family Christmas picture. Seriously. Not because we were pressed for time. But because we were never in the same place at the same time long enough (and/or dressed for the day) to snap a picture. So, I just made a collage of some photos from the past year and called it good. Thank God for Costco, who printed my cards overnight AND had the very good sense to offer stamps for sale right at the checkout. Yay!
I have not baked a single thing this year. Which is weird because I've gained three pounds. Oh yeah, that's all the sugary treats we've received in various gifts. I had every intention of baking several delicious seasonal treats and distributing them to friends and neighbors. Instead I made homemade Bailey's. That's good enough, right?
I have not wrapped many gifts - maybe five or six. I have dozens and dozens more to wrap. I spent WAY too much money - again - and tonight, after adding it all up and paying the bills, I seriously considered doing a huge "return" field trip tomorrow to take back half of what I bought. I go through this every year and always tell myself "this year it will be different:" but it never is! I read a great motto for Christmas gift-giving this year. To reduce the amount of gifts you give and stay within budget, follow this rule: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. Or, like a friend of mine shared, each child gets a book, a movie, an outfit, and a toy (or gadget). I would even add in "an experience" (i.e. tickets to a show/concert). But the way I shop has no rhyme or reason to it, other than "I got it on sale!" I like everyone to have a lot of gifts to open so I buy a lot of things. Christmas morning unwrapping goes on a while in our house. My kids don't receive many gifts from anyone outside the immediate family so I always want to make sure they have "enough." And the truth is, they ALREADY have enough!
We made a list of things we wanted to do over the Christmas season and we're chipping away at it slowly. Most of it will happen after Christmas. Mostly, I just hope the power stays on this year so we don't spend Christmas day in the dark and eat Jack-in-the-Box for dinner because it's the only place nearby that's open and has power! This year HAS to be better than that, right?
What are your Christmas traditions? Here are some of ours:
1. Bake and decorate sugar cookies (Arlie baked sugar cookies last night but then left for Spokane, so....we'll see how that turns out!)
2. Build a fort for sleeping in on Christmas eve (kids only - so far there are beds on the ground but no giant "tent" up yet)
3. Drive around to see cool light displays (we saw one at a church)
4. Go ornament shopping to get new ornaments for each family member (this year I'm scrapping that one in favor of going AFTER Christmas and buying them on clearance!)
5. Watch Christmas movies (we've watched a few)
6. Read "The Night Before Christmas" on the night before Christmas, from a very old book (mine when I was a child)
7. Buy chocolate Advent calendars and open a door in the big Advent house each day (how come I never get a chocolate Advent calendar? Next year I want one with Lindt truffles in it!)
8. Decorate our house to rival Clark Griswold (yes, it's Griswold with an "o," not an "a," like people keep writing. Stop it! And yes, we did it. "We" meaning Jeff did it. He rocks!)
9. Get Christmas jammies (did it, but only for the kids this year)
10. Take a family Christmas picture for the Christmas card (nope, not this year!)
11. Drink Bailey's every night (mommy only)
Ah well, What happens happens. And what doesn't doesn't. What really matters is just chilling with the family whenever and wherever we can. And drinking Bailey's every night. Or maybe that's just me. :)
My first project was a photo-to-wood transfer project. I spent $21 on gel medium (bought the big jar because I was certain I was going to LOVE this project and want to make hundreds of them). The idea is you cover a piece of wood (in this case, pre-cut wood plaques from Michael's) with gel medium and put a photo that you've printed on a laser printer on top of the gel medium upside down, so the photo will transfer to the wood. You have to leave it overnight first, and in the morning, you get the paper wet and rub off all the paper and voila! A beautiful wood transfer that you then cover with Mod Podge (bought two big jars, at $8 each) and present as a gift. Well. The first thing I did wrong was I didn't use a laser printer. Because who has a laser printer at home? And who has time to go to Kinkos? Not me. So, I used my regular ink jet printer after reading that some people had success with this. Big mistake. The pictures printed fine and everything went according to plan until the next day when I rubbed off the paper and half the printed picture in the process. Whoops! I asked Jeff to sand them down so I could try again. Same results. Crap. Only one turned out even halfway and then I decided it needed to be painted black around the edges so I attempted to make it look "antiqued" by rubbing it with an emery board. Oh my. I sent it to my sister anyway, since it was intended for her and was a picture of her and her beloved on their wedding day. It's not at all what I wanted it to be but since it's the only one I didn't trash, I sent it anyway. FAIL!
My second project still sounds good in theory but I never had time to actually DO it. First I bought a metal stamp set at Harbor Freight. The set contains the alphabet and numbers and a few characters. The idea is that you buy some metal washers at Loews or Home Depot and you "stamp" words or names or what have you into them. You can layer the washers by size and then you string them on a chain, perhaps add an embellishment, and you have a delightful custom necklace. Since it took me so long to get around to doing it (read: I still haven't done it!), I decided last-minute that it would also be cute to make them into ornaments so I had to buy another $10 worth of heavy-gauge wire to string them on. Well. One day it will be really cute. Only not for Christmas 2012.
Why I even thought I had time to do crafts is beyond me. I've always considered myself a crafty person, but the truth is, I am only crafty for the under 12 set. Any kids' craft I'm all over - I can and will do them. But adult crafts - you know, things that are supposed to actually look good? Not so much for me. Add to that the fact that things have been crazy around here this 2012. One crisis after another and no time to breathe, let alone eat or pee some days. Crafts? Fugghedaboutit!
In the same vein, while I was nearly done with my shopping Thanksgiving weekend, I failed to do the extended family shopping until the very last minute and thus was scrambling to mail packages yesterday to the tune of $60, give or take, for postage. Now, I am trying to reconcile this in my head. I used to send gift cards, then decided presents were more fun and more personal. My siblings and I long ago decided to only exchange gifts between the kids. After exchanging the same $10 Target gift card over and over for years, we decided a couple of years ago to send ornaments instead. After all, the kids will be grown one day and then they would have a collection of ornaments for their very first tree in their new apartment. Except that ornaments have to be mailed. In a box. Which is like buying a whole other gift when you consider the postage for each package. So, it makes sense to me to just send gift cards in the Christmas card envelope I was going to send anyway! Gah!
Speaking of Christmas cards, mine are still sitting on my kitchen table. I just finished printing the Christmas letter at 12:35 a.m. on the day the world is supposed to end (it didn't). Now I have to fold and stuff them and hopefully tomorrow I will mail them. I feel like I'm very far behind on this task this year. And the main reason is this: we had NO opportunity to take a family Christmas picture. Seriously. Not because we were pressed for time. But because we were never in the same place at the same time long enough (and/or dressed for the day) to snap a picture. So, I just made a collage of some photos from the past year and called it good. Thank God for Costco, who printed my cards overnight AND had the very good sense to offer stamps for sale right at the checkout. Yay!
I have not baked a single thing this year. Which is weird because I've gained three pounds. Oh yeah, that's all the sugary treats we've received in various gifts. I had every intention of baking several delicious seasonal treats and distributing them to friends and neighbors. Instead I made homemade Bailey's. That's good enough, right?
I have not wrapped many gifts - maybe five or six. I have dozens and dozens more to wrap. I spent WAY too much money - again - and tonight, after adding it all up and paying the bills, I seriously considered doing a huge "return" field trip tomorrow to take back half of what I bought. I go through this every year and always tell myself "this year it will be different:" but it never is! I read a great motto for Christmas gift-giving this year. To reduce the amount of gifts you give and stay within budget, follow this rule: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. Or, like a friend of mine shared, each child gets a book, a movie, an outfit, and a toy (or gadget). I would even add in "an experience" (i.e. tickets to a show/concert). But the way I shop has no rhyme or reason to it, other than "I got it on sale!" I like everyone to have a lot of gifts to open so I buy a lot of things. Christmas morning unwrapping goes on a while in our house. My kids don't receive many gifts from anyone outside the immediate family so I always want to make sure they have "enough." And the truth is, they ALREADY have enough!
We made a list of things we wanted to do over the Christmas season and we're chipping away at it slowly. Most of it will happen after Christmas. Mostly, I just hope the power stays on this year so we don't spend Christmas day in the dark and eat Jack-in-the-Box for dinner because it's the only place nearby that's open and has power! This year HAS to be better than that, right?
What are your Christmas traditions? Here are some of ours:
1. Bake and decorate sugar cookies (Arlie baked sugar cookies last night but then left for Spokane, so....we'll see how that turns out!)
2. Build a fort for sleeping in on Christmas eve (kids only - so far there are beds on the ground but no giant "tent" up yet)
3. Drive around to see cool light displays (we saw one at a church)
4. Go ornament shopping to get new ornaments for each family member (this year I'm scrapping that one in favor of going AFTER Christmas and buying them on clearance!)
5. Watch Christmas movies (we've watched a few)
6. Read "The Night Before Christmas" on the night before Christmas, from a very old book (mine when I was a child)
7. Buy chocolate Advent calendars and open a door in the big Advent house each day (how come I never get a chocolate Advent calendar? Next year I want one with Lindt truffles in it!)
8. Decorate our house to rival Clark Griswold (yes, it's Griswold with an "o," not an "a," like people keep writing. Stop it! And yes, we did it. "We" meaning Jeff did it. He rocks!)
9. Get Christmas jammies (did it, but only for the kids this year)
10. Take a family Christmas picture for the Christmas card (nope, not this year!)
11. Drink Bailey's every night (mommy only)
Ah well, What happens happens. And what doesn't doesn't. What really matters is just chilling with the family whenever and wherever we can. And drinking Bailey's every night. Or maybe that's just me. :)
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Tragedy.......
Today's school shooting in Connecticut that left 20 children and six staff members dead is an unspeakable tragedy that has left everyone feeling numb and helpless. As someone who works in a kindergarten classroom, I find it impossible to imagine someone harming innocent five- and six-year-old children. I've heard people say, "How can you look at a little child's face and shoot them?" and the only thing I can answer is that the shooter must have been insanely blind to his victims.
People are spouting off about gun control and the improvement of our mental health system. And both have valid points. The guns used were purchased legally and owned by the victim's mother (say some sources). Perhaps she did not take measures to keep them from her son who suffered from a personality disorder (as some sources claim). Or perhaps she purchased the guns FOR the young man, unaware that he would ever use them to harm someone - including herself. The guns were not assault rifles, they were handguns and many, many people own handguns. Should there be more gun control laws? Arguments abound on both sides. Personally I don't think anyone should own an assault rifle. But I think it's fine to own a handgun or hunting rifle or shotgun for personal protection and hunting. And I think if you own them, you should be responsible for locking them up and denying access to anyone except the registered owner. But I also know that no law keeps someone from committing a crime. People do bad things.
Should our mental health system be improved? Hell yes! Too many people suffer from mental illness and/or the effects of abuse and there are precious little resources to help them deal with it. In my own family, we deal with depression and anxiety, and our personal foray into the world of mental health and the treatments available have been full of frustration and disillusion. The sad truth is, most people are left to seek help on their own, if they are lucky enough to have insurance to cover the very expensive medications and counseling that are so helpful in the treatment of mental illness. If a person is suicidal, they wait in an ER until a bed is available at a facility that might be hours away from home, and even then, they are often given a standard 72 hour stay at which time they are released to their own providers (if they even have one). We couldn't even find a support group in our very progressive city of Seattle for teenagers suffering from depression and anxiety that wasn't also a drug and alcohol treatment facility. Not every teen who suffers from mental illness has a drug problem (although many do, because where treatment lacks, drugs and alcohol work wonders to numb the pain). We started our own group, but we're not professionals. And my family is very lucky - we are in a demographic that has access to mental health insurance, live in a progressive and accepting city, and have the education and resources to seek out treatment - and yet we still fall flat when it comes to finding something truly worthy of making a change.
But today, right now, none of this matters to the parents of the children who lost their lives today, or to the families that lost an adult member. Because I'm guessing those babies had presents under the tree already, that perhaps Santa photos were just taken, that they were going to be the center of attention at a big, family holiday gathering. I'm guessing their parents started today like any other day - looking for a lost sock, stuffing a folder hastily into a backpack, wiping sticky syrup off a tiny face and saying a hasty goodbye without ever knowing (or even considering) that it would be the last time. Parents were likely off at their jobs, or running errands, or home caring for younger siblings when they heard the news. They probably rushed to the school in a surreal daze, thinking surely their children were unharmed, and, for some of them, knowing that it had to be the worst possible situation when they could not find their child's face in the crowd.
I'm guessing the adult staff members were going about their business but sprung into action at the first sign that danger was imminent. Because when you work with children, they are ALL your children. If you are a parent and work with children, your mother instinct kicks in and you spread your mother wings and shelter all of the children you come in contact with. Your professional training kicks in, the lockdown procedures are begun, but never in a million years would you think it would ever be "the real thing" when you turn off the lights, lock the doors, shelter the children and place a ridiculously thin piece of black laminated poster board over the glass in your classroom door. In the dark, you feel insulated to the danger outside, but glass is thin and doors cannot stop a bullet.
The sad, sad truth is, it is so very easy to walk on to a school campus without being noticed or questioned. Of course all school employees are trained to question anyone without a badge, but parents escort their children on to school campuses every single day and there is no way to know if they are legitimate visitors or not. My own school is in a heavily wooded area. Even in the best of circumstances, there are many places to hide out and wait and it would only take a second to slip into a classroom. We simply cannot protect ourselves from the evil of the outside world. A movie theater is not safe. A mall is not safe. Our own cars are not safe. Nor are our homes. We live with our guard up immediately after a scary event, and then the barriers, physical and imagined, come down and we ease into the naive reality that we are "safe."
What can we do? We cannot hide in our homes (which, again, are also not safe - ever heard of a home invasion burglary?). We must live our lives and move forward. Perhaps we are too afraid of knowing that any single day could be our last. Accidents happen. People get sick and die. Babies get shot. Is there any comfort in living our lives as though each day could be our last? Can we ease our burdened souls by living as compassionately as possible? Doing good each day? Reaching out to our fellow man?
I hate to question my own faith, but of course God has to play a role in this because I've heard His name a lot today. "God, where were you during today's school shooting? God: I'm not allowed in schools." Where WAS God? Certainly taking God out of schools played no role in the shooter's choice to do what he did today. I don't want to get into a religious debate, because I'm not honestly sure where I stand with it all, but if anything, one could argue that God made the shooter the way he was, mental illness and all. I like to believe that God is there to protect us, but bad things happen all the time and where is God then? I don't know. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around our God allowing twenty innocent lives to be taken so soon. Heaven needed more angels? I'm betting the parents of those children are saying "Screw Heaven. Give me one more day with my baby!"
So, we pray. And we shake our heads in disbelief. We rail about gun control and our mental health system. We look for someone to blame. We hug our own kids tighter, and, let's admit it, say thank God it wasn't MY child. Hopefully we fight for the changes we believe need to be made and we think twice about how we treat people and we try to be a little more compassionate. But nothing will bring back those brave teachers and helpless children who's lives were snuffed out so methodically by someone who was too sick or too much in pain or just too out of touch to think first. We all hurt inside. But none more than the families who's arms will ache to hold their loved ones one more time. Surround them with love, God, if you're still there.
People are spouting off about gun control and the improvement of our mental health system. And both have valid points. The guns used were purchased legally and owned by the victim's mother (say some sources). Perhaps she did not take measures to keep them from her son who suffered from a personality disorder (as some sources claim). Or perhaps she purchased the guns FOR the young man, unaware that he would ever use them to harm someone - including herself. The guns were not assault rifles, they were handguns and many, many people own handguns. Should there be more gun control laws? Arguments abound on both sides. Personally I don't think anyone should own an assault rifle. But I think it's fine to own a handgun or hunting rifle or shotgun for personal protection and hunting. And I think if you own them, you should be responsible for locking them up and denying access to anyone except the registered owner. But I also know that no law keeps someone from committing a crime. People do bad things.
Should our mental health system be improved? Hell yes! Too many people suffer from mental illness and/or the effects of abuse and there are precious little resources to help them deal with it. In my own family, we deal with depression and anxiety, and our personal foray into the world of mental health and the treatments available have been full of frustration and disillusion. The sad truth is, most people are left to seek help on their own, if they are lucky enough to have insurance to cover the very expensive medications and counseling that are so helpful in the treatment of mental illness. If a person is suicidal, they wait in an ER until a bed is available at a facility that might be hours away from home, and even then, they are often given a standard 72 hour stay at which time they are released to their own providers (if they even have one). We couldn't even find a support group in our very progressive city of Seattle for teenagers suffering from depression and anxiety that wasn't also a drug and alcohol treatment facility. Not every teen who suffers from mental illness has a drug problem (although many do, because where treatment lacks, drugs and alcohol work wonders to numb the pain). We started our own group, but we're not professionals. And my family is very lucky - we are in a demographic that has access to mental health insurance, live in a progressive and accepting city, and have the education and resources to seek out treatment - and yet we still fall flat when it comes to finding something truly worthy of making a change.
But today, right now, none of this matters to the parents of the children who lost their lives today, or to the families that lost an adult member. Because I'm guessing those babies had presents under the tree already, that perhaps Santa photos were just taken, that they were going to be the center of attention at a big, family holiday gathering. I'm guessing their parents started today like any other day - looking for a lost sock, stuffing a folder hastily into a backpack, wiping sticky syrup off a tiny face and saying a hasty goodbye without ever knowing (or even considering) that it would be the last time. Parents were likely off at their jobs, or running errands, or home caring for younger siblings when they heard the news. They probably rushed to the school in a surreal daze, thinking surely their children were unharmed, and, for some of them, knowing that it had to be the worst possible situation when they could not find their child's face in the crowd.
I'm guessing the adult staff members were going about their business but sprung into action at the first sign that danger was imminent. Because when you work with children, they are ALL your children. If you are a parent and work with children, your mother instinct kicks in and you spread your mother wings and shelter all of the children you come in contact with. Your professional training kicks in, the lockdown procedures are begun, but never in a million years would you think it would ever be "the real thing" when you turn off the lights, lock the doors, shelter the children and place a ridiculously thin piece of black laminated poster board over the glass in your classroom door. In the dark, you feel insulated to the danger outside, but glass is thin and doors cannot stop a bullet.
The sad, sad truth is, it is so very easy to walk on to a school campus without being noticed or questioned. Of course all school employees are trained to question anyone without a badge, but parents escort their children on to school campuses every single day and there is no way to know if they are legitimate visitors or not. My own school is in a heavily wooded area. Even in the best of circumstances, there are many places to hide out and wait and it would only take a second to slip into a classroom. We simply cannot protect ourselves from the evil of the outside world. A movie theater is not safe. A mall is not safe. Our own cars are not safe. Nor are our homes. We live with our guard up immediately after a scary event, and then the barriers, physical and imagined, come down and we ease into the naive reality that we are "safe."
What can we do? We cannot hide in our homes (which, again, are also not safe - ever heard of a home invasion burglary?). We must live our lives and move forward. Perhaps we are too afraid of knowing that any single day could be our last. Accidents happen. People get sick and die. Babies get shot. Is there any comfort in living our lives as though each day could be our last? Can we ease our burdened souls by living as compassionately as possible? Doing good each day? Reaching out to our fellow man?
I hate to question my own faith, but of course God has to play a role in this because I've heard His name a lot today. "God, where were you during today's school shooting? God: I'm not allowed in schools." Where WAS God? Certainly taking God out of schools played no role in the shooter's choice to do what he did today. I don't want to get into a religious debate, because I'm not honestly sure where I stand with it all, but if anything, one could argue that God made the shooter the way he was, mental illness and all. I like to believe that God is there to protect us, but bad things happen all the time and where is God then? I don't know. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around our God allowing twenty innocent lives to be taken so soon. Heaven needed more angels? I'm betting the parents of those children are saying "Screw Heaven. Give me one more day with my baby!"
So, we pray. And we shake our heads in disbelief. We rail about gun control and our mental health system. We look for someone to blame. We hug our own kids tighter, and, let's admit it, say thank God it wasn't MY child. Hopefully we fight for the changes we believe need to be made and we think twice about how we treat people and we try to be a little more compassionate. But nothing will bring back those brave teachers and helpless children who's lives were snuffed out so methodically by someone who was too sick or too much in pain or just too out of touch to think first. We all hurt inside. But none more than the families who's arms will ache to hold their loved ones one more time. Surround them with love, God, if you're still there.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
It's just.....a lot.........
Today I was feeling a little frazzled right from the get-go since I woke up late, but thankfully, had showered the night before so my morning "getting ready" routine was a bit shortened. Still, despite my best intentions, I never seem to get my shit together and get out the door on time, or, gasp!, early! At any rate, I left earlier than normal and it took me nearly 40 minutes to get to work. It's, like, nine miles away. Not sure what was going on there. Work was fine - I mean, it's a very stressful and non-stop job. Working with special-needs kids is perpetual motion and a whirlwind of activity, sprinkled with mini-crises and I am SO grateful it's not a full-time job. It exhausts me, although it's rewarding. However, it is not without it's comic moments, and while most of them involve the kids, today it was all me. I stood at the laminating machine pushing things through, all proud of myself for getting a big job done, when I realized (after it was pointed out to me by the teacher) that the machine was not even on. All of my papers and cards were scattered all over the floor. It was one of those "fuck this!" moments - I was already late leaving for the day and so I just calmly picked it all up, sorted it out, and stacked it neatly on my desk for tomorrow. Sigh!
Nearly every day after work, I have to rush to pick up one of the kids and today was no exception. Because I rarely have time to eat my lunch during my work day, I was starving and ended up driving to pick up Hannah while eating peanut butter off a plastic knife. That's dangerous, right?
So, then there were some chauffeuring duties and finally home. I had a huge list of "to do's" but I ended up doing entirely different stuff. Like organizing the silverware drawers, working out, and whipping up an entirely strange dinner of meatballs and cheese and crackers.
I think the past couple of days have been weird - mostly because of the absence of Shade and all the questions that surround the "second guessing" one does after making the decision to put a dog down. I think we did the right thing for Shade, letting him go out with some dignity, but it was a very sad decision. And being there when he left this world was both sad and beautiful. It was a peaceful way to go, and I was glad to be there to help usher him into "doggie heaven." But, though Shade was a huge part of my days in the past six years, he was an even bigger part of Jeff's life for 16 years. A constant companion, a hunting partner, a pain in the ass, sometimes. But still, he had him longer than his own child. That's pretty huge. And it's not just something that you "get over" as quickly as you might think. That, combined with a ton of extra work at his job has created a big stress ball for Jeff these days. Which is a bummer right before Christmas. Still, he is such a good sport. I could only hope to be as patient and reasonable as he is.
There have been a lot of challenges in our lives recently. It's been a stressful year. And the holidays always sort of culminate in some extra stress simply because of all the "stuff" that goes on in relation - extra activities, performances, shopping, parties, prepping, wrapping....it's fun but it's also a lot. Just a lot.
Some days I just long for things to slow down. I miss the simpler days - I'm not sure when those were (haha) but I almost always feel like I run out of time to "get it all done" and there seems to never be a dull moment or a time when one of the kids or one of the adults isn't in crisis to some degree. Chaos reigns and we thrive on it, but simple is good, too. Simple is nice. Time to just be and enjoy. Especially during the holiday season. I am determined to get me some of that.
Nearly every day after work, I have to rush to pick up one of the kids and today was no exception. Because I rarely have time to eat my lunch during my work day, I was starving and ended up driving to pick up Hannah while eating peanut butter off a plastic knife. That's dangerous, right?
So, then there were some chauffeuring duties and finally home. I had a huge list of "to do's" but I ended up doing entirely different stuff. Like organizing the silverware drawers, working out, and whipping up an entirely strange dinner of meatballs and cheese and crackers.
I think the past couple of days have been weird - mostly because of the absence of Shade and all the questions that surround the "second guessing" one does after making the decision to put a dog down. I think we did the right thing for Shade, letting him go out with some dignity, but it was a very sad decision. And being there when he left this world was both sad and beautiful. It was a peaceful way to go, and I was glad to be there to help usher him into "doggie heaven." But, though Shade was a huge part of my days in the past six years, he was an even bigger part of Jeff's life for 16 years. A constant companion, a hunting partner, a pain in the ass, sometimes. But still, he had him longer than his own child. That's pretty huge. And it's not just something that you "get over" as quickly as you might think. That, combined with a ton of extra work at his job has created a big stress ball for Jeff these days. Which is a bummer right before Christmas. Still, he is such a good sport. I could only hope to be as patient and reasonable as he is.
There have been a lot of challenges in our lives recently. It's been a stressful year. And the holidays always sort of culminate in some extra stress simply because of all the "stuff" that goes on in relation - extra activities, performances, shopping, parties, prepping, wrapping....it's fun but it's also a lot. Just a lot.
Some days I just long for things to slow down. I miss the simpler days - I'm not sure when those were (haha) but I almost always feel like I run out of time to "get it all done" and there seems to never be a dull moment or a time when one of the kids or one of the adults isn't in crisis to some degree. Chaos reigns and we thrive on it, but simple is good, too. Simple is nice. Time to just be and enjoy. Especially during the holiday season. I am determined to get me some of that.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Shade's best, last day ever........
Today we had to make a difficult decision to put down our big, smelly, oaf of a dog who caused us many headaches but was a loyal companion and a big cuddler, the infamous Shade. He was 16 years old, which is nothing short of a miracle for a big dog like him.
Lately, Shade had started losing control of his bladder and bowels and we spent the last six months trying to accommodate him, keep him clean, and stay one step ahead of his frequent bathroom breaks. But, alas, there were a lot of accidents and pretty soon he was confined to his kennel, with breaks in the evening when we could keep a closer eye on him. We washed blankets hundreds of times, and spent hours cleaning. Plus, it was not fun for the poor dog. We tried medication, which gave us a brief reprieve, but the problem continued and it was soon time to make a tough decision. He had many "old age" problems, including losing his hearing and sight (not entirely, but definitely lost some of his "crocodile jaws" skills when he could snap a piece of food out of the air like nobody's business!). He was covered in benign tumors and had a strange "horn" growing out of his head. He was a mess, but he was a happy mess.
When Jeff made the decision to make today his last day, we decided to give him the "best, last day ever!" Yesterday, Jeff took a half day off work, came home, and gave Shade a good bath. He then took him a long, long walk in the neighborhood and surrounding areas. Later, Shade hung out in the garage with him, while Jeff puttered around. Then, they took a nap together, snuggling on the floor. Next, we took him to McDonald's for dinner and he got his own quarter pounder with cheese, fries and a Coke! We went to a church nearby that had a fantastic light/music show and Shade got to run around, get petted by the church ladies, and people promised to pray for him and our family. It was very sweet.
After we got home, Shade enjoyed a nice bowl of ice cream with whipped cream on top - just like his master! Later, he got a huge blanket nest for a bed, next to Jeff's side, and he slept all night in our room with us (something he hadn't been able to do for months because of the accidents). In the morning, he reluctantly extracted himself from his warm bed and went downstairs where Jeff prepared him a big breakfast of eggs and veggies. Shade gobbled it up!
We took him with us when we dropped Arlie off at gym, then went to the trail for a nice walk in the rain. Shade enjoyed a Hershey bar before the walk, and he had a grand old time sniffing around the park. Back in the car, we picked up Arlie at gym and then we all went to the vet. By this time, there were a lot of tears, doubt, sadness. At the vet, we were taken into a private room and they brought us a blanket for Shade to lay on. He was a good boy, laying down for us, and we snuggled him while they shaved his leg and administered the medicine. A few seconds, and he was gone. We held him and cried and Jeff said "You were a good boy, Shade."
Goodbye, old friend.We will miss you. The house will be so quiet without your Chewbaca-like noises, your incessant barking, and your high-pitched whine. No longer will your ginormous claws dig into an unsuspecting person while you try to be a lap dog - all 70 pounds of you! Ok, so there are some things we won't miss TOO much. But your enthusiasm for walks, short rides in the car, and just being a side-by-side companion for Jeff will be truly missed. You were a loyal hunting companion, even if you wouldn't retrieve. Your sweet face, soft ears and snuggly self provided warmth for all who cuddled with you. No one could do crocodile jaws like you! You inspired many a blog post and kept life interesting, if not exhausting and exasperating. You will be missed! Good dog, Shade!
Lately, Shade had started losing control of his bladder and bowels and we spent the last six months trying to accommodate him, keep him clean, and stay one step ahead of his frequent bathroom breaks. But, alas, there were a lot of accidents and pretty soon he was confined to his kennel, with breaks in the evening when we could keep a closer eye on him. We washed blankets hundreds of times, and spent hours cleaning. Plus, it was not fun for the poor dog. We tried medication, which gave us a brief reprieve, but the problem continued and it was soon time to make a tough decision. He had many "old age" problems, including losing his hearing and sight (not entirely, but definitely lost some of his "crocodile jaws" skills when he could snap a piece of food out of the air like nobody's business!). He was covered in benign tumors and had a strange "horn" growing out of his head. He was a mess, but he was a happy mess.
When Jeff made the decision to make today his last day, we decided to give him the "best, last day ever!" Yesterday, Jeff took a half day off work, came home, and gave Shade a good bath. He then took him a long, long walk in the neighborhood and surrounding areas. Later, Shade hung out in the garage with him, while Jeff puttered around. Then, they took a nap together, snuggling on the floor. Next, we took him to McDonald's for dinner and he got his own quarter pounder with cheese, fries and a Coke! We went to a church nearby that had a fantastic light/music show and Shade got to run around, get petted by the church ladies, and people promised to pray for him and our family. It was very sweet.
After we got home, Shade enjoyed a nice bowl of ice cream with whipped cream on top - just like his master! Later, he got a huge blanket nest for a bed, next to Jeff's side, and he slept all night in our room with us (something he hadn't been able to do for months because of the accidents). In the morning, he reluctantly extracted himself from his warm bed and went downstairs where Jeff prepared him a big breakfast of eggs and veggies. Shade gobbled it up!
We took him with us when we dropped Arlie off at gym, then went to the trail for a nice walk in the rain. Shade enjoyed a Hershey bar before the walk, and he had a grand old time sniffing around the park. Back in the car, we picked up Arlie at gym and then we all went to the vet. By this time, there were a lot of tears, doubt, sadness. At the vet, we were taken into a private room and they brought us a blanket for Shade to lay on. He was a good boy, laying down for us, and we snuggled him while they shaved his leg and administered the medicine. A few seconds, and he was gone. We held him and cried and Jeff said "You were a good boy, Shade."
Goodbye, old friend.We will miss you. The house will be so quiet without your Chewbaca-like noises, your incessant barking, and your high-pitched whine. No longer will your ginormous claws dig into an unsuspecting person while you try to be a lap dog - all 70 pounds of you! Ok, so there are some things we won't miss TOO much. But your enthusiasm for walks, short rides in the car, and just being a side-by-side companion for Jeff will be truly missed. You were a loyal hunting companion, even if you wouldn't retrieve. Your sweet face, soft ears and snuggly self provided warmth for all who cuddled with you. No one could do crocodile jaws like you! You inspired many a blog post and kept life interesting, if not exhausting and exasperating. You will be missed! Good dog, Shade!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Hell in a hand basket.........
Today I have a migraine. And I had to take my two youngest to get braces, which entailed a lot of waiting around, making a $700 payment with my credit card (because who has $700 lying around in their checking account? Oh, you do? Let's talk after, k?), then taking the newly-metaled kids to Panera for lunch. I suggested soft food - mac and cheese - but Harrison chose a gigantic hamburger, fries and two apple pies from McDonald's which he then took into, and ate, at Panera. Arlie had soup and a turkey sandwich and I'll admit it was kind of hilarious to watch her eat. She looked like she was having some type of seizure with all the facial gyrations she was doing. We went home for a short while before I had to run out again to take her to gymnastics, and, on the way, pick up her two carpool buddies at school.
My head was feeling kind of spacey/woozy and I was SO tired. The heat in the car and the Christmas music damn near put me to sleep at the wheel but I pressed on. I considered taking a nap in the parking lot, but needed a few things from Target, and had to pick up Hannah in short order, so I just went to Target. I was sort of dazed and confused, tired and cold, and just wanted a bed or a warm bath or something.
After picking up and dropping off kids here and there and finally arriving home for the night, I announced that the pork chops I was planning for dinner wouldn't be a good choice for the new braces and we were having pudding instead. Because I bought the mother lode of pudding, yogurt, soup and ice cream yesterday at the store. Soft foods, yay!
I was putting some snacks into a little snack basket I keep out in the kitchen when I found a piece of paper folded in quarters stuffed in among the granola bars and popcorn. It was a permission slip for a field trip that my son had brought home for me to sign. When I said "Hmmm, what's this? Does this need to be signed or something?" he produced another copy from his pocket, also folded in quarters. Well. At least he remembers what he forgets. Or something.
Then, I went to throw the original permission slip in the recycle and remembered that it was garbage night. And my son, who's job it is to do the garbage, was playing on his iPad. The Satan of all distractions. The evil force of nature that should never be brought into any self-respecting home with a teenager. Money is not the root of all evil. It's the iPad. So, of course I yelled at him for not doing the garbage - which he then couldn't do because he had to go to band practice. "I'll do it when I get home!" he said, swinging his bass out the door. Yeah. Right.
As I walked back to the table, I noticed a box of vanilla wafers that has sat, opened, on the kitchen table for three days now. Hannah got them out and has been told no less than three times to put them away, but there they sit. Undoubtedly stale by now.
Then, my phone started ringing and it was Hayley at work saying she had a "bad cough" and would I have any reason to go up to the mall so I could bring her some cough drops? Um. No.
Harrison's guitar is sitting in the corner by the back door - definitely not the place it belongs. But it was so much easier to just lean it against the nearest solid object than to walk it ten feet back to the living room where the guitar stand sits. He managed to get his backpack in the right place, but his bag of "goods" from the orthodontist office is sitting in the middle of the floor.
And this is why our house goes to hell in a hand basket on a daily basis. I suppose I could clean it all up, but then how would they learn? And I have this headache.........
This is why I eat cookies for dinner. Don't judge. You drink your wine. We all have our vices. Pass the Advil.....
My head was feeling kind of spacey/woozy and I was SO tired. The heat in the car and the Christmas music damn near put me to sleep at the wheel but I pressed on. I considered taking a nap in the parking lot, but needed a few things from Target, and had to pick up Hannah in short order, so I just went to Target. I was sort of dazed and confused, tired and cold, and just wanted a bed or a warm bath or something.
After picking up and dropping off kids here and there and finally arriving home for the night, I announced that the pork chops I was planning for dinner wouldn't be a good choice for the new braces and we were having pudding instead. Because I bought the mother lode of pudding, yogurt, soup and ice cream yesterday at the store. Soft foods, yay!
I was putting some snacks into a little snack basket I keep out in the kitchen when I found a piece of paper folded in quarters stuffed in among the granola bars and popcorn. It was a permission slip for a field trip that my son had brought home for me to sign. When I said "Hmmm, what's this? Does this need to be signed or something?" he produced another copy from his pocket, also folded in quarters. Well. At least he remembers what he forgets. Or something.
Then, I went to throw the original permission slip in the recycle and remembered that it was garbage night. And my son, who's job it is to do the garbage, was playing on his iPad. The Satan of all distractions. The evil force of nature that should never be brought into any self-respecting home with a teenager. Money is not the root of all evil. It's the iPad. So, of course I yelled at him for not doing the garbage - which he then couldn't do because he had to go to band practice. "I'll do it when I get home!" he said, swinging his bass out the door. Yeah. Right.
As I walked back to the table, I noticed a box of vanilla wafers that has sat, opened, on the kitchen table for three days now. Hannah got them out and has been told no less than three times to put them away, but there they sit. Undoubtedly stale by now.
Then, my phone started ringing and it was Hayley at work saying she had a "bad cough" and would I have any reason to go up to the mall so I could bring her some cough drops? Um. No.
Harrison's guitar is sitting in the corner by the back door - definitely not the place it belongs. But it was so much easier to just lean it against the nearest solid object than to walk it ten feet back to the living room where the guitar stand sits. He managed to get his backpack in the right place, but his bag of "goods" from the orthodontist office is sitting in the middle of the floor.
And this is why our house goes to hell in a hand basket on a daily basis. I suppose I could clean it all up, but then how would they learn? And I have this headache.........
This is why I eat cookies for dinner. Don't judge. You drink your wine. We all have our vices. Pass the Advil.....
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Make it erect!
Tonight we decorated the tree. This was notable for two reasons. One, we were all in one place at one time (albeit not for long) and two, we laughed and no one hit anyone else. Well, not much anyway.
It's hard to coordinate all the Christmas tradition things we want to do, and sometimes we have to squeeze something into a work/school night to make it happen. Or, as in the case tonight, squeeze tree-decorating in between dinner and oldest daughter going on a date!
I have the ornaments divided up by kid. Everyone is amassing their own collection so that one day, they will have a tree full of ornaments of their own. It's fun to look through them and remember. There was a lot of "oohing" and "awwing"...ok, that was just me. From the kids: "Oh my God. Look at the gap between my teeth! I could fit my pinky in there!" (to a framed photo ornament) to "When did I get this?" (said way too many times tonight - c'mon people! MEMORIES!).
But the thing is........we are not a normal family. I mean, I'm not sure what a normal family constitutes, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't lend itself to making sexual innuendos about the erect state of the tree topper. But we went there. And we laughed a LOT.
The best part was Hayley was going on a date tonight with a boy she met at the mall. Of course, we had never met him, so Jeff went to the garage, pulled his pants up to his chest, put on a camouflage jacket, an orange hunting hat, and came in and sat down sharpening a hunting knife. Hayley was mortified! We were so loud and obnoxious, and she was terrified that her date would arrive while we were in the midst of being....well, US. I said "When he arrives, I'll just want a couple of pictures of you two in front of the tree, and I'll make sure the family is normal - you know - sitting around drinking hot cocoa while singing Christmas carols." I thought she might hit me.
Later, Jeff came into the living room with two "mugs" of hot cocoa. These mugs are shaped like a boob and a penis and are totally oversized and quite disgusting. We found them in his grandpa's garage (I don't even want to know the story behind them) and couldn't pass up hauling them from San Diego back to Seattle for the sole purpose of mortifying our children. He handed me my mug and while we pretended to drink from them, I motioned out the window with my mug and said "Oh, there he is now!" I thought Hayley would die.
When Mr. Date finally did arrive he was quite dashing and very polite. After they left we all swooned over how cute he was.
My head hurt from all the loudness and laughing that ensued from tonight's antics but it was worth it. Family time, even highly dysfunctional family time, is always worth it. Who am I kidding? Dysfunctional family time is the BEST.
Epilogue: Date was a success. Daughter was on cloud nine, giggly and happy. Well-deserved!
It's hard to coordinate all the Christmas tradition things we want to do, and sometimes we have to squeeze something into a work/school night to make it happen. Or, as in the case tonight, squeeze tree-decorating in between dinner and oldest daughter going on a date!
I have the ornaments divided up by kid. Everyone is amassing their own collection so that one day, they will have a tree full of ornaments of their own. It's fun to look through them and remember. There was a lot of "oohing" and "awwing"...ok, that was just me. From the kids: "Oh my God. Look at the gap between my teeth! I could fit my pinky in there!" (to a framed photo ornament) to "When did I get this?" (said way too many times tonight - c'mon people! MEMORIES!).
But the thing is........we are not a normal family. I mean, I'm not sure what a normal family constitutes, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't lend itself to making sexual innuendos about the erect state of the tree topper. But we went there. And we laughed a LOT.
The best part was Hayley was going on a date tonight with a boy she met at the mall. Of course, we had never met him, so Jeff went to the garage, pulled his pants up to his chest, put on a camouflage jacket, an orange hunting hat, and came in and sat down sharpening a hunting knife. Hayley was mortified! We were so loud and obnoxious, and she was terrified that her date would arrive while we were in the midst of being....well, US. I said "When he arrives, I'll just want a couple of pictures of you two in front of the tree, and I'll make sure the family is normal - you know - sitting around drinking hot cocoa while singing Christmas carols." I thought she might hit me.
Later, Jeff came into the living room with two "mugs" of hot cocoa. These mugs are shaped like a boob and a penis and are totally oversized and quite disgusting. We found them in his grandpa's garage (I don't even want to know the story behind them) and couldn't pass up hauling them from San Diego back to Seattle for the sole purpose of mortifying our children. He handed me my mug and while we pretended to drink from them, I motioned out the window with my mug and said "Oh, there he is now!" I thought Hayley would die.
When Mr. Date finally did arrive he was quite dashing and very polite. After they left we all swooned over how cute he was.
My head hurt from all the loudness and laughing that ensued from tonight's antics but it was worth it. Family time, even highly dysfunctional family time, is always worth it. Who am I kidding? Dysfunctional family time is the BEST.
Epilogue: Date was a success. Daughter was on cloud nine, giggly and happy. Well-deserved!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Spelling and privacy..........
Bitch alert!
I really enjoy getting on Facebook and reading my friend's and family's status updates. But, Lord help us all, why the hell can't anyone spell anymore? Teachers, students, old people, young people........I cannot believe the spelling mistakes I see these days. And not just typos. Those are just going to happen. But when people really think "audition" is spelled "addishion" or "sense" is spelled "sence." You do not "set down," you "sit down." I know I've ranted about this before, but honestly? I'm really worried about our society. Schools are no longer teaching cursive writing, did you know that? Not that anyone writes anything by hand anymore anyway. But can you imagine how our penmanship is going to look in ten years? Twenty? Kinda makes all those "old lady" perfectly-slanted letters seem a little more appealing now. The worst part is that no one even cares anymore. I know a few fellow spelling Nazis, but more often than not, people are just annoyed if you correct their spelling mistakes. And it takes about one second to look up a questionable word on dictionary.com. NOT urbandictionary, kids! That's not a real dictionary (gasp!). Once upon a time we had to haul out a big book and look things up in alphabetical order. Who knows what that is? Raise your hand!
And then........the privacy notices that everyone is posting on Facebook. I mean, for one thing, does anyone REALLY think posting something on Facebook will protect their privacy? The internet is NOT private. If you don't want the whole world knowing something, keep it in your own head. If it might embarrass you later, just don't post it. And if you see someone post some pseudo-legal-sounding something or other on Facebook, don't just be a sheep and follow the herd. For cryin' out loud, research it first! See what it's all about before you go looking like an idiot. It's so easy to just click "share" but do you even know what you're sharing? For the love...........just because all the cool kids are doing it, doesn't mean you have to.
And while I'm on a rant, let's talk about hashtags. You know those #littlenumbersigns you post after your latest tweet or instagram photo? Once in a while, it ok to include a hashtag. But when you post a picture of yourself with the following hashtags: #hottie, #instahot, #cute, #selfie, #instagood, #sexy, etc........why don't you just spell it out in simpler terms? D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-I-O-N. Why do people need to get a million "likes" or "followers" to feel fulfilled? Ever heard of being "tumblr famous?" It means that a ton of random strangers like your posts of cats making sarcastic comments. Whoa! Dream big.
We live in a fleeting world. What's hot today will be lame tomorrow. Everything moves so fast, there's no time to learn. I teach in a kindergarten class and it's amazing how fast these kids write and try to complete their work, regardless of the quality. It's all about being first, being fastest, being "done" so they can move on to the next big thing. Slow down, people! Take the time to look something up if you don't know how to spell it.Read it over before you hit "send." Research things before you post them on Facebook. Don't get all caught up in the hype. Think for yourself. And if you can't do that, then just stop writing and keep posting those cat pictures. I especially love the ones with typos in them. SMH.
I really enjoy getting on Facebook and reading my friend's and family's status updates. But, Lord help us all, why the hell can't anyone spell anymore? Teachers, students, old people, young people........I cannot believe the spelling mistakes I see these days. And not just typos. Those are just going to happen. But when people really think "audition" is spelled "addishion" or "sense" is spelled "sence." You do not "set down," you "sit down." I know I've ranted about this before, but honestly? I'm really worried about our society. Schools are no longer teaching cursive writing, did you know that? Not that anyone writes anything by hand anymore anyway. But can you imagine how our penmanship is going to look in ten years? Twenty? Kinda makes all those "old lady" perfectly-slanted letters seem a little more appealing now. The worst part is that no one even cares anymore. I know a few fellow spelling Nazis, but more often than not, people are just annoyed if you correct their spelling mistakes. And it takes about one second to look up a questionable word on dictionary.com. NOT urbandictionary, kids! That's not a real dictionary (gasp!). Once upon a time we had to haul out a big book and look things up in alphabetical order. Who knows what that is? Raise your hand!
And then........the privacy notices that everyone is posting on Facebook. I mean, for one thing, does anyone REALLY think posting something on Facebook will protect their privacy? The internet is NOT private. If you don't want the whole world knowing something, keep it in your own head. If it might embarrass you later, just don't post it. And if you see someone post some pseudo-legal-sounding something or other on Facebook, don't just be a sheep and follow the herd. For cryin' out loud, research it first! See what it's all about before you go looking like an idiot. It's so easy to just click "share" but do you even know what you're sharing? For the love...........just because all the cool kids are doing it, doesn't mean you have to.
And while I'm on a rant, let's talk about hashtags. You know those #littlenumbersigns you post after your latest tweet or instagram photo? Once in a while, it ok to include a hashtag. But when you post a picture of yourself with the following hashtags: #hottie, #instahot, #cute, #selfie, #instagood, #sexy, etc........why don't you just spell it out in simpler terms? D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-I-O-N. Why do people need to get a million "likes" or "followers" to feel fulfilled? Ever heard of being "tumblr famous?" It means that a ton of random strangers like your posts of cats making sarcastic comments. Whoa! Dream big.
We live in a fleeting world. What's hot today will be lame tomorrow. Everything moves so fast, there's no time to learn. I teach in a kindergarten class and it's amazing how fast these kids write and try to complete their work, regardless of the quality. It's all about being first, being fastest, being "done" so they can move on to the next big thing. Slow down, people! Take the time to look something up if you don't know how to spell it.Read it over before you hit "send." Research things before you post them on Facebook. Don't get all caught up in the hype. Think for yourself. And if you can't do that, then just stop writing and keep posting those cat pictures. I especially love the ones with typos in them. SMH.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
A space of my own..........
So, today I worked my ass off getting the Christmas decorations up and cleaning and organizing several areas of the house. I didn't really work my ass off, but wouldn't that be nice? Nope. Still have the ass. Anyway.......
I really, really wanted the house to look and smell all Christmas-y when Jeff and Arlie came home. Jeff spent the day hunting on the east side of the mountains, and at the end of the day, he picked Arlie up from her long weekend at her mom's. We finished in time for them to come home to a nice, clean, decked-out Christmas-y house that smelled like peppermint. And, to boot, I washed all our bedding, put new sheets on the bed, and new fluffy pillows. Plus did several loads of laundry.
When they got home, I was upstairs vacuuming. Arlie said a brief "hi" and didn't mention the decorations. This kid LOVES Christmas so I half expected to hear a squeal of delight when she got home, but, alas, nothing. When I went downstairs, Jeff asked "What are you doing?" to which I replied "Hurting!" since my back was really aching by this time. He said "Why do you keep doing stuff then?" which if you're a woman, you know what a stupid question that is. Duh. To get it all done. To not leave things half-finished. Because no one else will do it. Sigh.
So, I went to the garage to put something away, and I saw that the few decorative items we moved out of the living room to make room for Christmas decor were stacked haphazardly on top of some bins in the garage. Breakable items, I might add. I had asked the kids to put them in the "office." Which I should pause here to explain.
When my house was built, we splurged on an extra room. It was to be my office/craft room. Basically, a space of my own, to keep things, to craft things, to have my own desk, to basically have a household headquarters that was all my own. And it pretty much was that, except that I often called it our "second garage" because anything and everything that didn't have a home was tossed in there and I'd have to spend hours every few months cleaning it out and reorganizing it. But it was MY space. Granted, there were some toys in there because it's not like I really ever got to be in there alone. Unless it was midnight and everyone was asleep. So, although I often had the company of a small child in there, I did have my own place with ample room for crafting, scrapbooking, paying the bills, writing, creating.
When Jeff and I combined our families and households, we first had Arlie and Hannah share a room. That didn't work for too long because Hannah had her dream room with a jungle theme and Arlie liked pink and Hello Kitty. We tried to divide their tastes but it didn't mesh too well. So, I reluctantly packed up my beloved office space, relocated everything to my bedroom and the laundry room, painted my office bright pink and gave Arlie her own room. Later, Arlie switched rooms with Hayley and my old office became Hayley's room, which is how it remains.
Our other office, the one that was part of the original design of the house, now had to house both me and Jeff. The first thing he did was to fashion some homemade shelves - in fact, a whole wall of them - to put his "stuff" on. I didn't love them (still not my favorite) but it was an o.k. addition I was willing to let slide. He had his side, I had mine. Eventually, though, the office just became too much - too crowded with "stuff" and, also, we decided to relocate our treadmill there. Previously it had been in the family room and I just really wanted to hide it. So, I gave up my "side", and moved everything to my own small desk in my room and a small built-in computer desk upstairs that was part of the original design of the house.
So, the "office" has slowly evolved into a "workout room." And I have no more space of my own. But I have several shelves in the laundry room with bins organized and labeled. I have stacks of photo boxes on my dresser. And I still have my little desk, albeit it very messy at times. I move my computer all over the house depending on what's going on where, and I even have a small, portable "office" with important papers and the bills and such that moves around with me.
So, that's how some items ended up in the "office" which is really more of a "workout room" with a closet where I still stash things like school supplies, and.......our "everyday" decorative items that are temporarily displaced at the holidays. When I asked the kids to put stuff in there, they stacked it neatly on a chair. I thought it seemed like a fine place to stash those things for a few weeks. However, the first thing Jeff did upon arriving home was to move those few items into the garage because they were in "his space."
And I lost it. I blame the severe back pain from cleaning and decorating all day, plus my lack of my "own space" in which to stash things, plus just general frustration from working hard all day and barely having acknowledgement by the two people I thought would appreciate it most. I unleashed all of that on Jeff and, although I apologized later and tried to explain, I just don't think he cared all that much that 1. I worked hard all day to transform the house into a winter wonderland, and 2. that I was offended that the first thing he noticed was one tiny indiscretion that infringed on "his space."
I get that everyone needs their own space. And I know that Jeff really likes his space. I know that he, himself, was displaced when he moved into the house we already inhabited, having to give up the majority of his furniture and move into an already-established home. But in the six years we've lived here together, he has become the master of the whole garage, plus he now pretty much owns the workout room formerly known as "the office." I no longer have "my space" and sometimes that is pretty frustrating. Like when I need a temporary home for stuff at the holidays. I stuffed it into the closet in the workout room. Compromise.
If I had my way, and we had the space and the money, I would have a yoga yurt in my backyard. A place I could decorate any way I wanted and just go to chill, relax, think and, yes, do yoga! Of course, I'd also like my own writing studio with space to craft. There is not one space in my house that I do not "share." I was going to say my side of the bed is all mine, but as I write this, my oldest is inhabiting that spot watching "The Walking Dead" with Jeff. My bathroom is constantly being used by kids who leave behind "clues" like leaving my bobby pins on the counter or an empty toilet paper roll. I don't do that. I put my things back. And I know how to change the TP roll. The kids use my makeup and wear my clothes. I even installed a key lock on my bedroom door which I use only occasionally when I'm fed up with "sharing."
I am fully aware that once you become a parent, nothing is sacred. Kids get into your stuff, things get messed up, and no one bothers much to put things away, or keep their paws off someone else's property. But it was nice, for a couple of years, to have my own "space" that I kept the way I wanted - messy sometimes, super organized other times. I could leave something half-done and not worry about it getting messed up because no one bothered my stuff when it was in "my" room. I miss my space.
I really, really wanted the house to look and smell all Christmas-y when Jeff and Arlie came home. Jeff spent the day hunting on the east side of the mountains, and at the end of the day, he picked Arlie up from her long weekend at her mom's. We finished in time for them to come home to a nice, clean, decked-out Christmas-y house that smelled like peppermint. And, to boot, I washed all our bedding, put new sheets on the bed, and new fluffy pillows. Plus did several loads of laundry.
When they got home, I was upstairs vacuuming. Arlie said a brief "hi" and didn't mention the decorations. This kid LOVES Christmas so I half expected to hear a squeal of delight when she got home, but, alas, nothing. When I went downstairs, Jeff asked "What are you doing?" to which I replied "Hurting!" since my back was really aching by this time. He said "Why do you keep doing stuff then?" which if you're a woman, you know what a stupid question that is. Duh. To get it all done. To not leave things half-finished. Because no one else will do it. Sigh.
So, I went to the garage to put something away, and I saw that the few decorative items we moved out of the living room to make room for Christmas decor were stacked haphazardly on top of some bins in the garage. Breakable items, I might add. I had asked the kids to put them in the "office." Which I should pause here to explain.
When my house was built, we splurged on an extra room. It was to be my office/craft room. Basically, a space of my own, to keep things, to craft things, to have my own desk, to basically have a household headquarters that was all my own. And it pretty much was that, except that I often called it our "second garage" because anything and everything that didn't have a home was tossed in there and I'd have to spend hours every few months cleaning it out and reorganizing it. But it was MY space. Granted, there were some toys in there because it's not like I really ever got to be in there alone. Unless it was midnight and everyone was asleep. So, although I often had the company of a small child in there, I did have my own place with ample room for crafting, scrapbooking, paying the bills, writing, creating.
When Jeff and I combined our families and households, we first had Arlie and Hannah share a room. That didn't work for too long because Hannah had her dream room with a jungle theme and Arlie liked pink and Hello Kitty. We tried to divide their tastes but it didn't mesh too well. So, I reluctantly packed up my beloved office space, relocated everything to my bedroom and the laundry room, painted my office bright pink and gave Arlie her own room. Later, Arlie switched rooms with Hayley and my old office became Hayley's room, which is how it remains.
Our other office, the one that was part of the original design of the house, now had to house both me and Jeff. The first thing he did was to fashion some homemade shelves - in fact, a whole wall of them - to put his "stuff" on. I didn't love them (still not my favorite) but it was an o.k. addition I was willing to let slide. He had his side, I had mine. Eventually, though, the office just became too much - too crowded with "stuff" and, also, we decided to relocate our treadmill there. Previously it had been in the family room and I just really wanted to hide it. So, I gave up my "side", and moved everything to my own small desk in my room and a small built-in computer desk upstairs that was part of the original design of the house.
So, the "office" has slowly evolved into a "workout room." And I have no more space of my own. But I have several shelves in the laundry room with bins organized and labeled. I have stacks of photo boxes on my dresser. And I still have my little desk, albeit it very messy at times. I move my computer all over the house depending on what's going on where, and I even have a small, portable "office" with important papers and the bills and such that moves around with me.
So, that's how some items ended up in the "office" which is really more of a "workout room" with a closet where I still stash things like school supplies, and.......our "everyday" decorative items that are temporarily displaced at the holidays. When I asked the kids to put stuff in there, they stacked it neatly on a chair. I thought it seemed like a fine place to stash those things for a few weeks. However, the first thing Jeff did upon arriving home was to move those few items into the garage because they were in "his space."
And I lost it. I blame the severe back pain from cleaning and decorating all day, plus my lack of my "own space" in which to stash things, plus just general frustration from working hard all day and barely having acknowledgement by the two people I thought would appreciate it most. I unleashed all of that on Jeff and, although I apologized later and tried to explain, I just don't think he cared all that much that 1. I worked hard all day to transform the house into a winter wonderland, and 2. that I was offended that the first thing he noticed was one tiny indiscretion that infringed on "his space."
I get that everyone needs their own space. And I know that Jeff really likes his space. I know that he, himself, was displaced when he moved into the house we already inhabited, having to give up the majority of his furniture and move into an already-established home. But in the six years we've lived here together, he has become the master of the whole garage, plus he now pretty much owns the workout room formerly known as "the office." I no longer have "my space" and sometimes that is pretty frustrating. Like when I need a temporary home for stuff at the holidays. I stuffed it into the closet in the workout room. Compromise.
If I had my way, and we had the space and the money, I would have a yoga yurt in my backyard. A place I could decorate any way I wanted and just go to chill, relax, think and, yes, do yoga! Of course, I'd also like my own writing studio with space to craft. There is not one space in my house that I do not "share." I was going to say my side of the bed is all mine, but as I write this, my oldest is inhabiting that spot watching "The Walking Dead" with Jeff. My bathroom is constantly being used by kids who leave behind "clues" like leaving my bobby pins on the counter or an empty toilet paper roll. I don't do that. I put my things back. And I know how to change the TP roll. The kids use my makeup and wear my clothes. I even installed a key lock on my bedroom door which I use only occasionally when I'm fed up with "sharing."
I am fully aware that once you become a parent, nothing is sacred. Kids get into your stuff, things get messed up, and no one bothers much to put things away, or keep their paws off someone else's property. But it was nice, for a couple of years, to have my own "space" that I kept the way I wanted - messy sometimes, super organized other times. I could leave something half-done and not worry about it getting messed up because no one bothered my stuff when it was in "my" room. I miss my space.
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