Tuesday musings, part two..........

I had to call this one "part two" because I realized I already had a Tuesday musings! Must be a trend. So, today I worked my 6.5 hours at school with my special-needs boy who I've been working with since school started. This job is a challenge. It's basically glorified babysitting, because I just have to "remind" him all day long what to do, when to do it, and occasionally take him for a walk when he has an "episode". Really, he's a good kid and it could be worse (i.e. more "episodes") but after about the billionth "reminder" it gets pretty old and I go a little crazy. Not to mention I'm required to fill out little behavior charts on three kids and jump in when needed for the other 7-8 kids on IEP's in that class. And even with all of that, I'm often bored out of my mind and looking for things to do. This afternoon we had a sub. She "forgot" which lesson we were doing, requiring me to dash to the office to run off 28 copies of the assignment, and then she read the passage, and mispronounced several words. I hated to correct her in front of the kids, but gimme a break - she's a TEACHER! Then, when attempting to give a "lesson" she had to refer to her book to check how to spell "malaria" and "disease". She pronounced "quinine" as "quin-in-in-a-nin". Really? Ugh, I have so little tolerance for teachers who can't speak, write or spell correctly. Lucky me, I got to leave early today.......

But not for anything fun! Oh no. I got to pick Arlie up at school and take her to an allergy appointment. We already knew she had cold urticaria, which is an allergy to the cold (imagine that!) but the good doctor decided to do a scientific test to be sure (he put an ice cube on her arm for several minutes then checked to see if she got hives. I did this exact same experiment at my house for free!). She left with a prescription for a hefty dose of allergy meds and an epi pen. Yikes. Guess we won't be going in any cold water anytime soon. Sounds like a perfect excuse to vacation in Hawaii.

I then dropped her off and had to rush over to the studio where Harrison was having rehearsal for his play. He got the role of the lion in an adaptation of The Wizard of Oz and there was a parent meeting during rehearsal. I learned that we have to sell candles and pastries for fundraising. And that he could take voice lessons for half price. I left with a good chunk of my bank account missing and a boy who wasn't sure what to think about three hours of rehearsal every Tuesday, made worse by the fact that he had a monstrous social studies homework assignment hanging over his head.

Finally made it home around 7:15. Dinner was ready (thank God for my husband) and we ate and scattered in different directions. I spent the next two or so hours catching up on emails and paperwork. The kids watched Christmas movies and burned cookies. My husband practiced guitar (and had previously done a workout - God bless him, the saint. I haven't worked out since aerobics were invented.). My son gave me a long list of study questions for a geography test. I quizzed him on things like longitude and temperate climates. My head started to hurt a little. At some point, I threw in some laundry, washed my face, and put on pajamas. I filled out an order form for a choir fundraiser (wrapping paper and candles I don't need).

And now I get to go to sleep (well, after I brush my teeth, take out my contacts, take my meds and turn out the lights) and do it all over again tomorrow. Discretionary time is non-existent these days. I got a text today from a friend asking to go to dinner (can't - meeting). Coffee? Work all day. Pedicure? Remember that "work all day" thing? Dinner Friday night? Football game. Daughter is playing with the band.

Tonight as I stared down another "found" pile of my college daughter's dirty laundry, I remembered my offer to wash and put away all the clothes she left behind. And I thought....when? I need a day. I need ten days. I need to not work all day. I never intended to be working full time. The job fell in my lap and was for two weeks. Now, I'm five weeks into it. And it lasts at least until the end of October. And there's a chance it might be mine permanently. And I'm scared of that prospect!! I want to find another "perfect" job to "save" me before I have to make the dreaded choice. Accept the job if it's offered simply because I need a job? Because it gets my foot in the door? Because I might get something better next year? Or stick to my guns, listen to my heart and the needs of my family and our schedules and say NO. Keep subbing. Wait for something part-time to open up. Dilemma!

In the meantime, I'm tired. And I had milk and cookies before bed. Burnt cookies. I actually love burnt cookies. But I don't like being burnt out.