Tuesday musings, part two..........

I had to call this one "part two" because I realized I already had a Tuesday musings! Must be a trend. So, today I worked my 6.5 hours at school with my special-needs boy who I've been working with since school started. This job is a challenge. It's basically glorified babysitting, because I just have to "remind" him all day long what to do, when to do it, and occasionally take him for a walk when he has an "episode". Really, he's a good kid and it could be worse (i.e. more "episodes") but after about the billionth "reminder" it gets pretty old and I go a little crazy. Not to mention I'm required to fill out little behavior charts on three kids and jump in when needed for the other 7-8 kids on IEP's in that class. And even with all of that, I'm often bored out of my mind and looking for things to do. This afternoon we had a sub. She "forgot" which lesson we were doing, requiring me to dash to the office to run off 28 copies of the assignment, and then she read the passage, and mispronounced several words. I hated to correct her in front of the kids, but gimme a break - she's a TEACHER! Then, when attempting to give a "lesson" she had to refer to her book to check how to spell "malaria" and "disease". She pronounced "quinine" as "quin-in-in-a-nin". Really? Ugh, I have so little tolerance for teachers who can't speak, write or spell correctly. Lucky me, I got to leave early today.......

But not for anything fun! Oh no. I got to pick Arlie up at school and take her to an allergy appointment. We already knew she had cold urticaria, which is an allergy to the cold (imagine that!) but the good doctor decided to do a scientific test to be sure (he put an ice cube on her arm for several minutes then checked to see if she got hives. I did this exact same experiment at my house for free!). She left with a prescription for a hefty dose of allergy meds and an epi pen. Yikes. Guess we won't be going in any cold water anytime soon. Sounds like a perfect excuse to vacation in Hawaii.

I then dropped her off and had to rush over to the studio where Harrison was having rehearsal for his play. He got the role of the lion in an adaptation of The Wizard of Oz and there was a parent meeting during rehearsal. I learned that we have to sell candles and pastries for fundraising. And that he could take voice lessons for half price. I left with a good chunk of my bank account missing and a boy who wasn't sure what to think about three hours of rehearsal every Tuesday, made worse by the fact that he had a monstrous social studies homework assignment hanging over his head.

Finally made it home around 7:15. Dinner was ready (thank God for my husband) and we ate and scattered in different directions. I spent the next two or so hours catching up on emails and paperwork. The kids watched Christmas movies and burned cookies. My husband practiced guitar (and had previously done a workout - God bless him, the saint. I haven't worked out since aerobics were invented.). My son gave me a long list of study questions for a geography test. I quizzed him on things like longitude and temperate climates. My head started to hurt a little. At some point, I threw in some laundry, washed my face, and put on pajamas. I filled out an order form for a choir fundraiser (wrapping paper and candles I don't need).

And now I get to go to sleep (well, after I brush my teeth, take out my contacts, take my meds and turn out the lights) and do it all over again tomorrow. Discretionary time is non-existent these days. I got a text today from a friend asking to go to dinner (can't - meeting). Coffee? Work all day. Pedicure? Remember that "work all day" thing? Dinner Friday night? Football game. Daughter is playing with the band.

Tonight as I stared down another "found" pile of my college daughter's dirty laundry, I remembered my offer to wash and put away all the clothes she left behind. And I thought....when? I need a day. I need ten days. I need to not work all day. I never intended to be working full time. The job fell in my lap and was for two weeks. Now, I'm five weeks into it. And it lasts at least until the end of October. And there's a chance it might be mine permanently. And I'm scared of that prospect!! I want to find another "perfect" job to "save" me before I have to make the dreaded choice. Accept the job if it's offered simply because I need a job? Because it gets my foot in the door? Because I might get something better next year? Or stick to my guns, listen to my heart and the needs of my family and our schedules and say NO. Keep subbing. Wait for something part-time to open up. Dilemma!

In the meantime, I'm tired. And I had milk and cookies before bed. Burnt cookies. I actually love burnt cookies. But I don't like being burnt out.

This isn't really a blog post..........

It's actually a really long Facebook status. Because I ran out of room. So. Here we go.

I am way too busy for a job. I've been working full time since last week (haha, all you full-timers, go ahead and laugh, but this is MY life and MY blog, so I'm gonna whine if I want to). The thing is, working is just one more chore I have to do. And so working all day just takes up too many hours of my time so that I fall way, way behind. I know, bummer huh? But I'm a tried and true part-timer. Four hours a day is about all I can muster and still stay on top of everything else. I haven't filled my son's prescription or called the college financial aid office because I simply haven't had time. Crazy, I know, but I work in a school and I don't get ANY breaks in which to make phone calls or do anything other than work all day. I do get a lunch but it's a "working lunch" where I'm meeting with the other teachers and assistants so I can't even skip out for an errand or phone call at all. So, blah, blah, that's my whine about working. Yes, I'll have a smile on my face when the paycheck comes. But honestly? I'd rather be a "stay at home" (hahahah) mom any day over working. There, I said it.

Also. The kids are in a performance tomorrow (and the next day and the next day) and tonight was the dress rehearsal. And those damn kids, they grew again, so of course we discover five minutes before we leave that their pants from last year don't fit, one only has tan jazz shoes (not black, as required), one has only brown shoes, and one needs a fitted, solid-colored t-shirt. And, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, I do not have time to purchase these items before tomorrow. So.....my oldest (thank GOD she can drive and hasn't left for college yet and doesn't have to work till 11 tomorrow) is going to purchase the t-shirt and some black spray paint for the jazz shoes. The brown shoes will just have to do. But, if you wanted to be my good fairy tomorrow and magically bring me a pair of size 4 black jazz shoes, a pair of size 11 black tennis shoes, and a size small solid-colored t-shirt by tomorrow morning and leave it all on my doorstep, I'd be eternally grateful.

Additionally......tomorrow night is THE BIG PARTY. This party is being thrown by my husband's company to celebrate FDA approval of a new drug. That cures cancer. Yeah, pretty big stuff. So, they rented out the entire Showbox theatre and two super-secret bands will be playing but they're not saying who. Jeff is rooting for Pearl Jam. Who knows? Our "ticket" to this event is a rubber bracelet (think "Livestrong") with the name of the company and the drug imprinted on it. We cannot lose this "ticket" or no big super-secret band party for us. So, I've been wearing mine for two days since Jeff gave it to me. Stylish. Speaking of stylish, the dress is "concert/party" attire. Well, now. If I were going to concert, I'd likely wear a t-shirt and jeans. If I were going to a party I might wear a dress. Dilemma. So, I went shopping. Now, where do you buy an outfit that's a cross between jeans and a dress for a girl like me (read: not skinny). Why, Lane Bryant of course. And it's cute - black pants, cute tank and sweater combo in a lovely shade of deep turquoise - but I'm still not sure if it's the right thing. I mean, what if people are wearing cocktail dresses? What if jeans and concert t's are the order of the day? I HATE THIS. I wish they would have sent out suggestions (complete with photos and links to ordering) of outfits to wear. I'm still debating, too, because I have this other cute top.....oh well, I got some shiny new shoes (under ten bucks at Ross, but still). So, tomorrow, the minute I get off work, I have to dash home to get dolled up for this soiree and, you know, put on the "this is my wife, isn't she cute?" outfit. Sigh. At least I'm funny.......I am funny, right?

Then, after staying up half the night at this fabulous party, I have to get up and go to work again! Groan! And I have to work all day! Augh! And then, if that's not horrible enough, there's a performance Friday night. And likely a restaurant outing afterwards. And a football game where daughter #3 is cheering at 8 a.m. the next day. And then a matinee performance. And then another evening performance. And Sunday......oh, blessed Sunday, day of rest and relaxation! But guess what? Monday I have to get up and work again! And I haven't been to yoga or seen my friends in AGES. Yep, this working thing is for the birds. I wonder if I could win the lottery? Or serve nothing but oatmeal to my family? Surely there's a way out of this Hell.........

Hiatus

I have no idea why but I believe I just took the longest break ever from writing on my blog! What gives? Nothin' much, just plain ol' laziness or lack of inspiration or, probably, just too damn tired after reading my Facebook posts to write anything.

But here I am. The past couple of weeks have been chaos as usual. Here is a brief rundown: Jan. 12 the highlight of my day was meeting the neighborhood girls for drinks at The Rock. Jan. 13 I got the happy news that I had lowered my cholesteral! Jan. 14 I enjoyed an evening at home while everyone else was otherwise occupied (heaven!). Jan. 15 I worked backstage for "SeussOdyssey", Hayley's latest play, then watched the final show that evening. After the show, we hosted the cast party with 40-ish kids. Jeff made pizza till 3 a.m., we stayed up till 5 a.m. and I slept till noon the next day. Jan. 16 I (sort of) watched the Seahawks game. I think they lost miserably. Or something. Jan. 17 the kids were off school. I took them to get donuts and when we left the gusty wind took the box of donuts out of my arms and blew them upside down all over the sidewalk. Jan. 18 I actually worked out (yay me) and met Peggy for coffee at Country Village. Jan. 19 I worked as a recess lady, and took the kids to the doctor and orthodontist. Jan. 20 I worked at a jr. high and went to a mandatory parent meeting for the musical, which both Hayley and Hannah are in, and came home with my head swimming from the time and money required to pull it off. Jan. 21 I got up at an ungodly hour to drive Jeff to the airport for a weekend conference in Ft. Worth, then went to work at a jr. high for the day, after which I hosted book club - supermom day! Jan. 22 I enjoyed coffee with my great neighbor, Betty, who's wise words resonated with me, then took the girls shopping. Jan. 23 I cracked the whip on homework and chores then went to the airport to pick up Jeff. Jan. 24 I actually made it to yoga for the first time in two weeks. Jan. 25 I remembered to call my mom for her birthday and interviewed for a potential nanny job. Jan. 26 I worked out and went shopping. Jan. 27 I did yoga, had coffee,a massage, and went shopping - and marveled in the sheer miracle of having a day like that. Jan. 28 I went to a dr. appt., worked out, and spent the evening learning to Skype and listening to Arlie and her friend Bradee giggling in the other room. Sleepovers!

So, there you have it. Busy all the time.

And there was some excitement thrown in for good measure. I was at the mall on Wednesday and I got a call from Hannah. "Mom, we have a situation." Never a good way to start a conversation. "Harrison cut his finger pretty bad." So, I tell her to put some pressure on it for five minutes and call me back. Meantime, I frantically call their dad and Jeff to see if one of them can assess the situation. But no dice. So, I call Betty, my wonderful neighbor, who also happened to do search and rescue and EMT work in her past. She put a butterfly bandage on it and said it probably needed stitches. Another call from Hannah to tell me this and I put in a call to the dr. office. They are closing in 15 minutes but say I can go to their other clinic as long as we get there before 6:45. So, I finally get home, put Harrison in the car and Arlie suddenly decides she also needs to go. So, I wait while Harrison sits in the back with his finger in the air to stem the tide of bleeding. Arlie takes her sweet time and comes out with a BACKPACK filled with activities. WTF? We race off, hitting traffic and realize we're out of gas. Stop at the gas station to fill up. "Hang on, bud, we're almost there." I reassure Harrison while filling the tank. We finally get to the general area of the clinic and I get all turned around and end up driving up and down the roads around the clinic before finally finding it. We race into the office at 6:39 just in time to get checked in. The doctor, who's name I cannot remember, was funny and witty and took one look at his finger and said "oh yeah, that's gonna need stitches!" The best part was she let me help! I mean, I didn't get to actually stitch or anything but I assisted her which was cool. Harrison was a trouper through it all, and fascinated by the whole process. The blood was impressive! Who knew a finger could bleed so much? We finally got out of the doctor's office, hit the McDonald's drive thru, and headed home. THAT was a looonnngg day......

And now I'm tapped out of things to say and I'm afraid this blog post wasn't very witty or funny. Unless you think my life is funny in which case you might find this hysterical. It's never a dull moment around here. NEVER.

What's the secret?

Today I worked an eight hour day. Which, for most of the world, is just a normal day at work. But not for me. When I work at the school or nanny, it's usually four or five hours at a time (even though it often feels like ten hours!). But today I had to be at work at 7:30 in the morning. Which means I needed to leave my house around 7. That would have meant having Harrison get up on his own, get ready, remember to let the dogs out, and lock the house up while getting to his bus on time. Me, of little faith, decided this was too much of a risk at this stage of the game, and had him sleep over at his dad's so his morning routine would be supervised. I worked my job, then arrived home just a bit after both Arlie and Harrison. I was pretty tired - not that I'd worked hard - but mostly because there wasn't much for me to do so I spent a lot of time finding things to do or twiddling my thumbs. And when I'm bored,  I get tired! (I did enjoy the job a lot though!). Still, I could have easily fallen asleep for a little nap when I got home but instead I........supervised chores, made dinner, had an unexpected guest for dinner, met Jeff coming through the door with a migraine (his are scary and stroke-like so I spent some time debating and ER visit), took Harrison  and Arlie to Starbucks (payback for an earlier day where they did their sisters' chores), made lunches, cleaned up dishes and kitchen, and THEN I had to work on volunteer stuff for the book fair at school. Now it's 11 p.m. and  I'm so tired and I wonder - what is the secret? How do moms who work full time balance their time and fit everything in? Forget about working out - I was booked up all day and way too tired at the end of the day to do anything about my physical fitness. I just can't help but wonder - what "gives"? Obviously no one can do it all, so what things do working mothers skip in order to find time for other priorities? I'm lucky in that I do not work full time so I cannot speak to how to balance a family while working full time. But on days like today when I'm working all day I think about working moms and wonder how they do it all. How do they spend quality time with their kids, find time for fitness, cooking, cleaning, volunteering, and everything else? It just seems like a depressing cycle of being too busy, too rushed, too tired and never enough time. I already feel that way sometimes and I'm not adding in a full time work schedule to the mix. Working moms with families, tell me your secrets!

Saturday........in the park...........guess it was the Fourth of July........

Ok, it's Nov. 14, but just saying "Saturday" in my head brought up that song. I don't even know what the name of that song is......maybe it's "Saturday"?

Sooo.......I've been slacking on picture taking lately. I don't know why really, but Jeff sure has been giving the Nikon a workout taking pictures of various rusty parts of his truck to post on fordification.com. Sounds like a porn site, but no, it's a site for guys like him who have rusty heaps in their garages and don't know how to make them run. So, people with tag names like Bubba and Weiner spout advice about those various rusty parts and my husband reads them religiously, then takes off to Shucks or Napa where he spends more than he should on wires and plugs and rebuilt carburators. I know I just spelled that wrong. I don't care.

I spent this whole day in my pajamas up until 5 p.m. when I finally took a shower. I was on the computer most of the day, but I got a lot of stuff done, like sending out fundraising letters for the Jingle Bell Run, cleaning up my address book, checking my old email (360 some emails - all but two of them junk!), and, for some reason, cleaning the pantry. I found a lot of expired food which I promptly threw out, because Jeff would freak if he saw me doing it. Things like Hamburger Helper and Jello and even tea! I was advised to keep the tea, but I threw out the other stuff and I will have to mash it down into the trash so Jeff won't take it out of the trash and eat it. Seriously! Even though it has an expiration date, he thinks anything in a box or can is good indefinitely and so he will eat it. But remember that email about the expired pancake mix? Snopes said it was true, so why take a chance? Anyway, the pantry was getting seriously out of order. Jeff calls it entropy. I call it a mess.

I then showered and took Hayley with me to Target. I went for a few items and ended up spending a buttload of money - mostly on clothes for Hayley. She got a wool pea coat (on sale), five sweaters (clearance), jeans (sale), shoes (not on sale - and she said she "needed" black heels "just in case"), and a cute little bra. I bought way too many things for Christmas and the house and let's just say my credit card got a serious workout. Ugh. I don't even want to think about it. But we're so broke that it's gonna be a credit card Christmas no matter what. At least until the tax return arrives, which I hope will cover it!

I bought tickets to see "New Moon" with the girls next Thursday night/Friday morning. The showing is at 12:01 a.m. I have no idea how 1. I'm going to stay awake until the movie starts, 2. I'm going to stay awake during the movie and 3. I'm going to get up the next morning and go to work! I personally could have easily waited until the next day (or month, or year) to see it, but the girls HAVE to go to the midnight showing. They are each bringing a friend and I told them I would bend the rules and let the friends sleep over on a school night. But they ARE GOING TO SCHOOL the next day, no matter what. Last November, when Twilight came out, I bought the tickets online, only to have Hayley get sick and not want to go the night of the movie. She went to bed early instead and was sicker the next day. Then, the day after that she ended up in the ER with pneumonia and the flu! I'm hoping to not have a repeat of that this year.......

Jeff and Arlie went camping and clamming to Grayland this morning. I, being the wimpy winter camper that I am, opted out (it's COLD!) and voted to stay home by myself. It's such a rare luxury that I fully enjoy my time alone. But, alas, I suggested that Hayley and her friend should sleep over here since no one else was home and they jumped all over that, so now I'm not alone. Which is nice, I really don't like being alone overnight, although I've gotten used to it. I have a list a mile long of things I'd like to get done during this time, but of course, today was so lazy, I doubt tomorrow I can get it all done. But that's ok........it's nice just to have uninterrupted time to do mundane stuff like clean the pantry and bake cookies - which I did, even though I'm the only one home!

What's up this coming week? Well, I finally get my stitches out of my back on Monday. I had a mole removed then they had to go deeper because they found "suspicious cells" and so I ended up with a pretty big cut and stitches inside and out! It's been ok, but it itches like crazy and feels funny when I bend over - the stitches are right where my jeans hit, too, so I have to wear a tank top tucked in. I'll be glad to get them out (but not glad for the nasty scar it's going to leave!). So, Monday I have something scheduled at 9, 10:30, 11:30, 1:40, 3, 4 and 5. Should be an interesting day! Tuesday I get to have a girls' night out, which is rare and fun........Weds. media training for Hannah's Jingle Bell Run appearances, Thursday it's hair day with Marie and fun day with Amy and Friday watching Hannah in a choir performance (and trying to stay awake after the movie at midnight!).

Gotta get some sleep now........staying up till past midnight two nights in a row is tough.......I'm getting old!