How Much?

Ah, the big debate. How much is childcare worth to you? Parents who choose to or have to work find themselves in the position of having to pay for childcare. And being budget-minded (who isn't?), they often want to get the best deal possible. But what is the "deal"? How cheap are you willing to go to pay for childcare and expect quality? People demand the most from their caregivers. They want a person who will focus on their children, play educational games with them, foster their health and development, keep them clean and well-fed, and nurture them with all the patience and wisdom of Mary Poppins (who, by the way, is a fictional character, keep that in mind!). But, parents, I ask you - do YOU fit the bill? Do YOU do all of those things with your children when you are their primary caregiver? I know I didn't. When my kids were little, I was a busy mom - always initiating activities and projects with my kids, taking them on "field trips", purchasing educational games, limiting TV and junk food, holding them, nurturing them, doing everything all of the "experts" and books told me to. But I'm not too proud to admit I occasionally propped my firstborn up in a walker and plopped her in front of a window so I could get the dishes done, or put my toddler in front of an episode or two of "Blue's Clues" in order to fold some laundry. Believe me, if my kids were otherwise occupied with a game or activity, initiated on their own, and no one was getting hurt or maimed by it, I was all for those precious few minutes of peace and quiet. Sure, I could have played some more board games, or taken them to the zoo more. I could have built a rocket with them or taught them Spanish. But I didn't. I needed some balance. Still, I think I did a pretty good job of just being a mommy and my kids are healthy and well-adjusted and will (hopefully) be productive members of society one day, so I'm satisfied with a job well done. And I didn't make a penny.

BUT! I have worked in childcare for many years and I've earned many pennies along the way taking care of other people's children. And I treated it like a professional job. To me, being a childcare provider was NOT the same as being a mommy. I wasn't just "taking over" a mommy's job, I was providing a service. Sure, many parts of that job involved using my basic instincts as a mommy, and the loving and nurturing was natural and not contrived. However, while I might plop my own toddler in front of a TV show to do laundry, my job as a childcare provider was not to do laundry, therefore, interaction with the child was my main priority. Childcare providers' jobs mainly involve interaction and undivided attention given to a child - probably more than their own mommy can give, and the overall reason is that a childcare provider is being PAID. It's a JOB. As such, certain criteria are set forth and it's the childcare provider's job to follow them. As with any professional, you get what you pay for, and childcare is one area that I find shockingly underpaid. These are your CHILDREN! Your most precious possession is at stake here and yet people are willing to pay peanuts to the very person who spends the majority of their day with their child (same applies here to teachers, who are also grossly underpaid, and yet, we entrust our child's entire EDUCATION to them, but that's another blog post!). So, what's it worth to you? Ten dollars and hour? Twenty? Fifty?

But come on, you say, I only make SO much money. I can't AFFORD to pay that much for childcare. Well, I'm here to tell you, you can't afford NOT to. Having worked in the childcare field for over twenty-five years, I have seen the best and worst of childcare providers. When I was a teenager, and working in a very upscale and brand-new childcare center, I saw my fellow teen workers shunning the "icky" kids. The ones with runny noses, or mismatched clothing, or special needs. Only the prettiest, cutest and most adorable children earned the coveted place on the teen caregiver's lap and their undivided attention. Ok, you say, but that's a teenager for you. Really? I saw this same thing taking place with adult caregivers when I worked for the YMCA. Parents cannot really know what goes on behind the closed doors of the childcare center, and often they would find it appalling at worst, and hurtful at best. There are some WONDERFUL caregivers out there, but when you pay a caregiver less than $10 an hour, you can't expect the quality of a true professional, regardless of how upscale and wonderful your childcare center is.

Thinking of hiring a private nanny to care for your precious angels? Think of it this way. If you were in charge of hiring a highly qualified individual at your place of business, would you offer a competitive salary package with benefits? Of course you would. But many parents think nothing of hiring a nanny and paying them less than poverty-level wages, with no benefits. Accountability comes with responsibility and a respect for your career. Integrity comes from within, and wanting to do a good job because it's the RIGHT thing to do, is becoming a thing of the past. Let's face it, we all need jobs. We all need money. We need to make a living. Few of us are so attached to our jobs that we'd do it for nothing. Childcare is a job. It's a profession. And as such, expect to pay competitive wages for the BEST of the best. As parents, we often ask MORE of a childcare provider than we even expect of ourselves. And we want it for what accounts to pocket change. If you pay $100 for a crummy TV that has a bad picture and goes out in a month, you might adopt the attitude of "you get what you pay for". But if you pay $1000 for a TV and expect good quality, and don't get it, you expect some recourse. You expect the company to have some accountability. Same with your caregiver.

Sure, you say, but my caregiver comes to my home and hangs out with my baby all day. It's not that HARD. And she gets a BREAK when the baby is sleeping. Really? When you are at work, and there's nothing to do, does your pay get docked because the company did not provide you with enough work to fill your day? If you sit at a desk all day, and have access to your computer so you can sneak in a little online shopping or even Facebook while you "work", is your work really HARD? When I care for your children, you are not only paying me to provide top-notch childcare. You are paying me for my TIME. I have a family, too. I am  taking time away from my family, the same way you do each day when you drive to your desk job, to provide a service to your family, the same way you provide service to your company. But, you say, I attend trainings, I'm a PROFESSIONAL. As your childcare provider, I am happy to attend trainings. I am happy to obtain certifications. I am happy to further my degree if it provides you with the peace of mind that you have hired the most top-notch professional for the job. Oh, and by the way, I will also expect you to pay for it, the same way your company pays for YOUR certifications and continuing education.

So, what is it worth to you? Do you want a warm body who can call 911 in an emergency to care for your children nine hours a day? Or do you want an experienced professional, an experienced mother, a person who takes the job of child-rearing seriously enough to care about doing the very best job possible? It all comes down to this - you get what you pay for. What is it worth?

Why I Deserve Hazard Pay!

Today started out like any other. Well, there was a minor glitch in that Hannah didn't feel well and missed her bus. But after driving her to school and making it to work on time, it seemed like any other day. Myla had gymnastics and I was to be her escort today, so I busied myself getting her shoes and socks on. That's when the first hazard happened. Dakota tried to walk by us and tripped into me, bashing her Leap Frog Learning Desk into my face! As the area went numb, I brushed it off and continued on to gymnastics. Myla was very, shall we say, animated at gymnastics and I had to keep her reined in to the group (lots of pointing to the mat and saying "come here" then "1, 2..." while she came running back!). Finally we were at the trampolines, the last part of the class. Myla wanted to be in the foam pit. So, I tossed her in (much to her delight) and she busied herself trying to bury herself deeper and deeper into the cubes of foam. Then, she took her socks off. Hazard number two. Because two small, white socks are next to impossible to find in a foam pit the size of my living room filled with thousands of blocks of blue foam. I debated just giving them up for lost, but then I made the horrible mistake of going in after them! HUGE fail! Because while those tiny little toddler bodies practically bounce off the foam cubes, my generous frame only sank farther and farther into the pit. I did manage to retrieve the socks, only to start losing my own socks as I tried to scramble out of the pit. Taking my own socks off I debated a graceful way to exit the foam pit in front of 25 other mom/kid pairs. No way in hell. The coach (God bless him) finally noticed my predicament and offered his hands. Um, thanks but I seriously doubt he could pull me out (as he suggested I "climb the wall like Spiderman"). He finally brought over a mat and put that in the foam pit so I could hoist myself on it and climb out on my own. How embarrassing! I turned around to look at Myla (still burying herself deeper) and I swear she had a malicious grin on her face.

So, after gymastics hell, I decided we (read: I) deserved a Starbucks treat. As soon as we got to the counter, Myla grabbed her organic chocolate milk and turned her sweet little face up to me, gave me her heart-melting grin and announced "I want a scone!" Well, of course the princess could have a scone! How could I say no? So, I doled out a quarter of the scone in small bites while she sipped her milk and I relaxed with my coffee.

We then went to "Stupid Prices" - yes, that's a real store, and they were going out of business. So, off we went to scout out bargains. While there Myla decided it was time to talk, sing and converse loudly (unusual for her, because she tends to be more reserved and shy in public). So, while she belted out "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep" I scouted bargains. In a particularly crowded aisle, for no particular reason at all, Myla suddenly shouted "Mo farted!!!" (I'm Mo, by the way). I wheeled around and stated "I did NOT!" (I didn't....ok, I've been known to fart in a store, but I SWEAR this time I was innocent!) Myla just kept on singing like nothing happened while I ducked down another aisle to avoid the stares.

After scoring some bargains at Stupid Prices, we headed to Dollar Tree to scout out their Halloween stuff. Myla picked out a few prizes (and put many other choices back "for later") and suddenly I had to go to the bathroom SO bad. I asked where the bathroom was and then realized I had to get a key (attached to a large serving spoon - thanks for the subtlety!). Of course I had to take Myla with me into the bathroom much to her amusement. While I tried to be discreet she made no secret of looking at my butt (again, I swear she was smirking!). No privacy with kids around!

When we got to the car, I remembered that while at the Dollar Tree, Myla had announced "I'm stinky". That she was! Big time. And I made THE BIG MISTAKE. The one where I forget to bring a diaper and wipes with me when we head out. Crap! Literally. So, I scrounge around my car and find a package of Wet Ones, but of course, no diaper or any suitable substitute. But wait! I remembered seeing a package of Good Nights disposable kid underpants at Stupid Prices. Salvation! We head back to the store where, thankfully, the ONE package they had was still on the shelf. I make a hasty purchase and head back to the car where I proceed to change Myla. OH. MY. GOD! Now, I have four kids and have changed PLENTY of diapers in my lifetime, but still, once in a while there is just a diaper that defies all explanation. First, upon pulling her pants down, a mushy turd falls onto my hand, and yes, I tried to catch it (hey, it's a natural reaction) and poop gets packed under my fingernails. Ok, ok. I can handle this. No biggie that's what wipes and hand sanitizer are for. I think perhaps (I hope) this is the bulk of it, but NO! As I remove the Pull-Up, I encounter the biggest, messiest diaper I've ever had the pleasure of changing on Myla in my year of taking care of her. Needless to say I used up nearly the whole package of Wet Ones cleaning her up. As I started to re-dress her I realized there was poop in her pants, too....ugh....so she rode home without pants, socks or shoes.

I started toward home, just wanting hot water and soap (no amount of hand sanitizer can make poop under the fingernails seem clean again!), and realized I still needed to feed her lunch. A quick look at the clock told me I had only a half hour till nap time. The Golden Arches loomed ahead and I made a quick pit stop for some McNuggets. They were steaming hot, so I held them, one at at time, in front of the air conditioner to cool down as I fed them to her on the way home! The whole way home she kept requesting "Boom de clap" - her name for the Hoedown Throwdown song by Miley Cyrus. Over. And over. "Wanna listen again?" Not really. Finally home, I scurried her up to naptime (after getting her some new clothes on) and came downstairs to write this. Because I did not want to forget one bit of this "hazard pay" day!

(If my employers are missing some liquor, don't tell on me, ok?)

Sweet!

Last night we attended Dakota's 4th birthday party and there were a lot of kids there. And, you know, I sorta like kids (haha!) so I was of course playing and talking to them all. There was one little boy who was SO sweet and kept wanting to take pictures w/ my camera. And I know a lot of people wouldn't let a 4 year old touch their $1000 camera, but this kid was like the paparazzi! He was shooting photo after photo and half of them were actually decent and he was loving it! It was the cutest thing (and yes, I kept my hand on the camera at all times). At some point in the party, Jeff came up to me and said "watching you with kids is like poetry." That just melted my heart! I think that's the sweetest thing ever. I really do love kids and I just "get" them so it's totally natural for me to gravitate towards the kids at a gathering and just enjoy their amazing little imaginations and creativity. Not too long ago, I was thinking about "careers" and I thought "well, I never did much in the way of a career." I mean, I graduated from college with a degree in English, and promptly got married and had Hayley. And then I had Hannah and along came Harrison and during that time, I realized I was continually working on a career in "children." Whether it was raising my own kids, or working at the hospital teaching parenting classes, or writing for a parenting publication, or doing in-home daycare, I've pretty much worked at a career with kids since I was 15 years old. And I still love it! And now I'm a nanny. And while some people might think that's just glorified babysitting, I know it's so much more than that. It's bringing my 26 years of experience working with kids to two little girls and learning a lot from them in the process. Myla and Dakota are amazing and Dakota's special needs have given me the opportunity to learn so much, while Myla's contagious spirit makes me happy every day. So, I guess, without really realizing it, I've made a career in children and I can't imagine any other career more valuable. Raising my own kids or helping with someone else's, I really do love my job! "Do what you love and love what you do" is a motto I can say I've adopted. But it's made so much sweeter when someone really values what you do. Jeff's comment really made my day!

My Little Charges

I've not yet posted any photos of the two adorable girls I spend part of my week with - Myla and Dakota! I work as a nanny for these two sweet girls part-time and I LOVE it! It's the best job and they really are such sweet girls. We have a lot of fun together. Now that my kids are getting older, it's nice to go back to the toddler stages and do all the fun things I used to do with my kids. I marvel at the things they learn and say each day and love to hear their toddler talk. They're a joy!

Random musings.........

*If I have a hot flash during yoga, does it count as "hot yoga"?
*Why aren't there coupons for liquor stores? (I'd clip those!)
*If you're clipping your toenails and one of them errantly flies over to your husband's side of the bed, are you required to search for it?
*How many mini Milky Way candy bars equal one big one?

These are some of the thoughts I had today (so now you know I clipped my toenails and ate too many Milky Ways!).

After getting two disturbing emails from my sisters, I now feel I have to tread very carefully the next few days. Because bad things happen in threes. And they have already been hit! Monica wrecked her 4-wheeler and tore her ACL and has to have surgery. Marcia did a face plant (literally, her face hit a plant) falling on her front porch and cut her cheek badly. So, now it's me! Yikes. I'm scared.

Today I worked at the school (on my "day off" my nanny job) and it was nice to be back at the old digs, speaking Spanish again. I'm glad I get to keep that up while I enjoy my wonderful new job. I never thought I'd view taking care of a toddler as peaceful but it is definitely my "quiet" time! HA! With four kids (and two of them teenagers) at home, it's really loud. All the time. So, a quiet day with a toddler is a welcome reprieve.